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I want to save my marriage.My husband has PTSI and TBI and is so angry and mean. He's kicked me out. How can I get him back?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Health, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 October 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 October 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

my husband moved out of where we were staying while we were seperated, because he kicked me out.

Then he left some of my stuff there and had to go get it..

He wrote me in a text that its over and he filed for divorce.. Now he changed his email and cut off his phone.. He has ptsd, tbi( tramatic brain injury), and hyper thyroidism yes all of that..

ive been with him for 7 yrs and married 3..

idk what to do i luv him and stuck by him but he is so angry and mean.. what to do help plez!!

View related questions: divorce, moved out, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 October 2012):

Honeypie agony auntWas your husband military?

I would suggest that YOU find a support group who specifically help out spouses of guys with PTSD/PTSI and see if you can get some tools as to HOW to handle living with this man.

However, if he is divorcing you, there isn't much you can do. I understand that you love him and want to help him, but you can't. Not til he is READY for that help.

And I'm sorry they are not easy to live with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2012):

I'm sorry you have to go through this. But you can't save a marriage with someone who doesn't want to. It takes two to have a relationship, and one to end it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (17 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntDid he have PTSD and TBI before you married/got together...

if these things are new, then you may not be able to save the marriage.

does he go for help? see a doctor, get therapy, medication?

if not will he?

it still may not help.

what kind of support are you getting?

are you staying out of love or out of guilt?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (17 October 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntI am so sorry that you have had all of this to deal with I am sure it has been a very hard time on you. I am afraid though really there is nothing much you can do if it is what he really wants. Have you managed to talk to him and ask him why he has filed for divorce? If you at least knew the reasons that he felt the way he did then maybe there is something you can do to help. If this has came out of nowhere then it could be a case that he has done this out of guilt as he knows how hard a time you have. The only suggestion I can give you is to try and get in contact with him and try and talk. But am afraid there is not much more you can do than that. Good luck.

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