A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys,I hope you can give me some insight on how to deal with this.I absolutely adore my boyfriend to pieces, but he's stopped making me feel good. we used to be SO close it was sickening. A year later and hes just... blah!He doesn't text or call me if i'm away from him.He never tells me im pretty or beautiful or sexy or makes any kinda of compliment to me. He doesn't bother with me most of the time i'm with him.He doesn't care about events like birthdays, Christmas, valentines day, anniversary (not married, just day we first started dating). I've still not recieved a gift or aknowledgment for my birthday (day before his). On Anniversary he ignored me all day and was moody, got me flowers and i tried to thank him and i got shouted and moaned it because he didnt want me touching him.He doesn't care about my feelings at all. If im upset with something he just acts like nothings wrong. Or if im upset about something he's done he tells me im being stupid and he's not going to do anything about it because it's me who has the problem and hes fine doing whatever it is. I feel unattractive and worthless with him. I talk to him about it every now and then in an attempt to get him to change, but he just tells me everytime that i'm just pulling all this out because i feel like arguing with him. I ask him what his views on it are and if he agrees or disagrees with what i'm saying is wrong and he tells me he doesn't know. (how can you not know if you disagree with something like that?) He just ignores me after that line and i ask him to say something and he says either 'say what? whatever i say your going to shout at me anyway' or 'i duno what to say'(everytime, i swear it's like clockwork, the exact same questions and examples and reactions every time with no change!). We argue it out until i've cried my eyes out or too tired and go to sleep.i'm sick of it. I was in a previous relationship where i was loved to pieces. I was like a queen and i felt great and sexy and loved him and he loved me and it was completely equal. I eventually fell out of love with him. I really wish i hadn't now. I wish i had kept him and not hurt him by breaking up with him and just stuck with it and maybe rekindled somewhere along the line...I'm so tired of being treated like i don't matter. I know i deserve better, but i love him so so much. He is also my partner for all group work at uni, were equally matched in skill for our work and the only people in our year of our capabilities. All my friends tell me i'm hot and can have my pick of guys and should leave him (i dont feel it after being bullied and being the nerd of primary and high school for years, which is why being told i'm worthwhile by my boyfriend is extremely important to me).The sex is ridiculous. He doesn't do anything at all. He doesnt try to give me an orgasm (which i can't do, he was my first). I look at him and i think hes really hot, but i just cant get the heat on. He seems to just think of himself in sex. I mean the other day he just thought it was appropriate to have a 'wank' on my stomach. I was like 'hello? i'm here wanting some maybe? dont you dare'How do i react to him? He is everything i want, but the caring personality.
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anniversary, bullied, christmas, flowers, orgasm, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 February 2010):
You have to end it. All the love in the world won't change this guy, and you can clearly do better.
A
female
reader, nokutenda  +, writes (8 February 2010):
you said it yourself you deserve better. just let him go. there is someone out there who will treat you right. you have tried talking to him but its not helping so why bother? the love you have for him will die in time and when you start loving someone new.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (8 February 2010):
 Are you sure this guy is your BF? A BF does not treat his GF this way. Why are you still in this relationship? It really makes no sense.
You're not getting what you want so why are you with him? If there's all these problems with him, why the hell is he everything you want? I don't get it.
I would not allow a boyfriend to treat me like this. Have a talk with him, tell him everything that bothers you and if he can't give you what you want, walk away.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 February 2010):
 This lazy, ungrateful, selfish, distant, uncommunicative slob is everything you want? Really?
He is what he is. You won't be able to change him, as it seems pretty clear he doesn't care much what you think of him. Take him as he is, or leave. I know I wouldn't stick around for that kind of treatment.
Good luck.
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