A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I love men, want to be with a man, and crush on men. I'm almost 30 and still single and haven't had a real relationship, however. I feel like something is wrong with me. I also love watching women strip on porn sites to get me off. It's easier to orgasm watching women strip than actually acting it out (one night stands with guys when i feel the need.) I never acted out with a girl nor do i feel like ever wanting to. It makes me uncomfortable to do it. However, i love female anatomy, boobs, vagina, it being licked. I like feeling like mine is being licked that way, but then I think do I just like looking at it because it is sexually appealing to me? All I know for sure is, i want to find love with a man and have kids. I don't see a girl in a relationship setting, nor even to have sex with. But maybe thats cus i haven't tried. I do know that I find women very attractive. Another thing, when I do orgasm with a guy, it is so incredible and i feel a bond with a man (or at least just great feelings) but when i watch females in porn, its more of a quick orgasm that I get, it doesn't feel special, just more mechanical. Is this normal?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 January 2014):
 It's totally normal to be able to appreciate attractive people of the same sex and find them beautiful without wanting to have sex with them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea, I don't think I can actually be sexual with a woman. Then again, if I like the imagery, maybe I can. But I'm not interested. I've always liked men. And their pleasure forms a deeper connection than getting off to female imagery. Then again, if I don't like the guy, then his body doesn't appeal to me. Women r just more beautiful than men. So r their bodies. But I only feel chemistry, romance with a guy. Not just for mariage but it excites me to think of falling in love with a guy, and telling him abt my weird fantasies. Idk, I think I could prob go there with a girl, sexually but never romantically. At least it hasn't happened yet. But I don't even have an urge or desire to even go there. My main confusion is then y am I so intrigued and attracted to female imagery? And that is there any other deep rooted desire hre? But it could also just be left at what it is and that's just me!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 January 2014):
Lots of straight women watch lesbian porn, it's totally normal and doesn't mean you are gay. Try to relax, it is not necessary to label everything. Sexuality is not black and white.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 January 2014):
 Normal is a relative term these days it seems. What was defined as "normal when I was young doesn't meet any standard today so who am I to make a judgement. I'll not post a comment so as to not stir up any emotion one way or another. Good Luck. Here's wishing I was younger and lived close to you though.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 January 2014):
 Then there's no problem. I don't think you are single until 30 because you have this female fantasy going on. You just have to make sure the guy you want to marry does not dig deep in your past or resent it. Some men might secretly dislike the fact that other men had you easy while he had to work hard for it.
I don't think there is something wrong with you but to other people it looks like you have all your fun now you are settling down. It makes men wonder if you could combine connection and lust together in a serious setting.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 January 2014):
 Sexuality is fluid. People don't fit into neat little labels. It can be as complicated as the person themselves are. You are sexually attracted to lesbian imagery, and it's possible you have some bisexual tendencies as well. Your burden of responsibility is complete honesty to yourself and the guy or girl you're with. If you date a guy, don't use him to provide you with what you believe the ideal life is (i.e. family, kids, etc). If you're with him, it's because you love him body and soul. No matter if you're bisexual or not, faithful is faithful.
As for being turned on by lesbian porn, what is wrong with that? It's sexual imagery, and the female body is beautiful! It's a work of art and grace and elegance and sensuality.
Honesty is important here too. You've never been with a woman, so you can't compare what you do with lesbian porn for a quick release to what your experience would be with an actual woman or sex with a man. It's just not the same.
If you're unsure about who you want to be with, you should explore all options (not at the same time!), but if you truly see yourself with a man, do it because you are crazy for the guy and the sexual chemistry is there and you're in love with him. Don't do it because it's easier.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI love doing that stuff to my man! I'm sexually attracted to men. I love a big penis and a strong body. It turns me on too!!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (1 January 2014):
A lot of women who claim they are straight enjoys lesbian porn.
Normal is what works for you. However, a man still wants to feel lust from you. So even if marriage and kids work for you in the long term, a man is going to feel like something is missing if you are not sexually attracted to him. He's going to want blow jobs and stuff. He's going to be upset when you are lying next to him when you are fantasizing about a girl. Unless you would be willing to do a threesome that most women won't do. But then I had to question if a man wants to share does he really love you. But then again for people who love fucking, marriage isn't for them.
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