A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I do not feel any physical/sexual attraction to my husband... I cringe when he touches me.... There was never strong passion on my side, but rather a marriage of convenient timing and my biological clock that was ticking. Now after 10 years of marriage and 2 children, him touching me has become unbearable... I have been having an affair for the last 18 months. But he is married too, so there is no future...I told my husband I see him as a brother... big mistake... made him feel very insecure, jealous and possessive... He does not want to even consider divorce... I feel guilty yet I can not make myself feel any romanticism with him... What do I do here?
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affair, divorce, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): I am tired of hearing the same logic that i do not love him any more after xx years, and i have found other man. what to do..?Obviously in your case, he deserve a better wife. May God forgive your thoughts and deeds.
A
female
reader, silence +, writes (19 July 2010):
i hear you all.. thanks for your input.. especially the guys... i know women understand that the marriage is over for me... but he does not want to let me go...He deserves a woman that will respomd to him the way i can's.. yes he has not been a perfect husband and father and he disrespects my parents but i know in all fairness, i am the one that is cheating on him and morally i am doing the wrong thing... but i have not been an opportunist, not in a material sense.. as i have been the one supporting this marriage financially most of the years...yes i did want children and i felt secure that he would not cheat on me... ironically, i did it to him...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): So you are going through the thick part of your marriage, and you fail and have an affair, has he been a bad husband / father? Seriously, this is why men don't have respect for women......
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): How come so many chicks think this is okay, to use up some poor guy's lifetime so that the chick can be comfy and feel goo-goo-good about herself? Just be sorry; have the guts to let him have a life, for you've stolen a decade from him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): Well, it has always been about you and your needs and your biological need for children. Face it, you never felt attracted to your husband. You've been an opportunist. Now that your most pressing needs have been met you find it necessary to look elsewhere for those needs not being met and you have an affair. You really have been deceiving and conniving. Your husband has been screwed.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 July 2010):
Sorry, my answer was cut off.
What I was saying that to be having with an 18 month affair with a man who is married and you know won't leave his wife, is really the death of your marriage. You need to leave your husband. He does deserve a woman who loves him, and won't cheat. And if you're unhappy, you deserve to be happy elsewhere. You need to end your marriage.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (18 July 2010):
 Make a plan and leave. Nobody can make you stay married if you are done with it and your sure it's over.
It won't be easy, it won't be pleasant but is there any reason to stay?...most people do because they can't cope financially or they fear being alone, some even stay because they enjoy the security whilst cheating (as you are).
The guy your cheating with is a lost cause but if you handle things systematically and sensitively, you can make a new life for yourself.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 July 2010):
An 18 month affair? That's the death. End it.
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