A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just think about the good times..and they'll come back again! Idlove to keep saying that to myself but even the good times depress me.Im in a mess, a big fat mess!! This guys my best friend....but sadly the love of my life! Who i cannot get over. We've had our ups and downs recently our friendship had improved,not awesomely but better than it was wen we were at college together. Ive tried to cut him out my life and it did in me totally. Ive tried to be happy with just being friends with him but i honestly cant get over him, i cant live without him. Please take me seriously here, i;ve tried trust me ive tried everything and i cannot do it. Hes my life, everything i do comes from him, in a way i suppose ive become a female version of him.I wanna tell him how i feel. The thing is he already knows, well he knew from other people, all i;ve ever told him is that i really like him, he doesnt know i love him or anything. However if i tell him i risk loosing our friendship and i could not bare that.Also i have no idea what i would say to him, i wouldnt do it face to face but in a messgae, or even if he;d reply? Any suggestions you could give me there?But then again if i leave it and dont tell him ill never be able to get over him, and also if he gets with this girl he met whilst out with some people its gonna kill me! Theres no saying he will he doesnt even know her but you know how guys are to egg their mates on if they think a girls fit.Thing is me and some mates always thought he liked me because, my god he used to show it and i was stupid enough to go very shy and not flirt back! He denied liking me to my mate however at the time people were syaing stuff, a girl that liked him got jealous over something he told her(and yes my name was mentioned in it, i dont know what was said but i have my suspicions) But anyway he continued to stare at me and things.Hes been out with me and some mates and even they reckon were both abit shy and nervous around each other although i cant really see that because sometimes he normal with me.Thing is its a weird situation. Considering he says we;re great friend i have to be the one to say hi first if we speak online, also he will talk back but if the convo goes dead he will not start it up again. Sometimes wen we;re alone hes all confident and normal and other times he seems like he dont know wat to say although he alwyas finds something to say with anyone.Thing is i had to see him so i emt up with him last week and to my suprise he was there waiting for me(he isnt normally) and as i walked up to him he said hey how u been doin? alright? and stuff and i sed yea u n he went quiet and said yea n i thought he seems abit weird and anyway we were talking normal going up(he asked someone else to come along as well for some reaosn but they didnt) and we were just tlaking at the satrt we were fine but after that i dont know we just didnt know what to say and at times he did seem abit shy. Also towards the end he jst kept messing around with his drink, probably out of boredem but i dont know. As we left and walked back we hugged and he just said take care wont ya? Later that night i saw his status...which said "i wanna go deeper but i dont know how to swim!" (they are the lyrics of a love song) and i just thought....ME! but no i cant think like that. What do you think these words meant? My immediate thought was that girl he met and he wants to go further but doesnt know how to. But hes not normally shy with any girls whats so ever. Im the only one ive come across like this..So that night has just screwed me up totally because i need to tell him but i cant loose him as a friend and time is runing out because hell meet this girl soon(if he is meeting her ofc he could just be saying that to is mate) Im unsure whats happened. Btw i have wrote up before but my follow on answer didnt get a repsonse but i feel its jsut best to tell you all in one go. Sorry or the length of this but pleae help me get over him!
View related questions:
best friend, flirt, jealous, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): What do you mean 'to my suprise he was there waiting for me(he isnt normally)' ? Aren't you guys best friends?? Sorry- but that just confused me a bit!
The way I see it- your situation can be interpreted 2 ways...
Way 1.
He used to kind of like you but since you showed signs of not liking him back he stopped liking you. Then he found out you like him and he got awkward and shy around you because he doesn't like you anymore and he feels a bit guilty having lead you on. This meet up for him could've been him trying to secure your friends status and for him to show he didn't want to be anything more. It was awkward for him because maybe he could see you still like him and he didn't know what to say or do to show you he didn't return the feelings. He messed around with his drink because he felt pressured to just tell you how he really felt and he didn't know how and things were getting awkward. Him saying 'take care, won't ya?' was him letting you know that he cares about you- just not in that way and was a kind of dismissal- hinting that he doesn't really want to meet up with you too much more in the future. He later posted his status as 'I wanna go deeper... but I don't know how to swim!' to maybe express how he feels about some other girl... or even express how he wants to go deeper as in tell you he just wants to be friends...
Way 2.
He likes you. He acted like he liked you before because he liked you but when you acted shy this kind of drove him into his shell a bit and now he's not as keen to show his feelings for you. He acts shy and awkward around you because he doesn't know how to act any more and doesn't want to show his feelings for you in case of rejection 'again'. This meet up he wanted to say something but was so nervous he didn't say anything really and was really awkward and shy. He messed around with his drink because he was so nervous and shy in your prescense. As you guys parted he summoned the courage to tell you 'take care, won't ya?' as a last, desperate attempt to let you know that he cares. And then he posted his status as 'I wanna go deeper... but I don't know how to swim!' to express his situation.
Why not tell him you like him??????
If Way 1 is the case... he'll be forced to come through and just tell you he doesn't like you in that way. And you will feel terrible for being rejected but you can sooner heal your 'wounds' and move on with your life and become a stronger person :)
If Way 2 if the case... he'll be happy you initiated it and he'll open up more to you about how he likes you too and both of you can stop wasting your time 'secretly' liking each other and just be together and be happy :)
Of course both of these ways could be completely wrong I mean I don't even know you or your best friend or your situation for real. :)
But I suggest telling him you like him :D
As for how? ...
If you're intensely brave let him know you want to meet up because you have something important to tell him and meet up in a place where they'll be hardly anyone else around to see your rejection (if it happens) and where you have a quick and easy getaway.
If you just brave, but not that brave, call him on the phone. Say hey, make sure it's him, ask him if it's a good time to tell him something intense, even warn him that what you're about to tell him could make things get really awkward... and then when he tells you 'go for it' or whatever, simply say 'i really like you, *insert his name here* and make it clear that its in a more than friends way 'i really like you... in a more than just just friends way' or in the style of however you too usually talk to each other. :)
And then say nothing more and just wait for his answer and you won't have the pain of having him actually there. :)
And if you're not brave enough for those two ways of telling him... instant message or text him :) Try to make a bit of conversation before though so it's not completely random and you know he's not actually with a whole bunch of mates at the time because that could make things get even more awkward.
I think you should just tell him :)
What do you have to loose? Your friendship? It seems that things between you are pretty awkward already sorry to say it :(
As for preaparing for a possible rejection- don't think of it as seeing the light. Youre in the dark atm and you want to see the light whether it blasts you away or lights up your world :) Haha.
Be strong! :D
|
