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I asked her out in 2010. She refused. Since then she will not speak to me. Is it now time to confront her on her Ostracism of me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Friends, Health, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 August 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 August 2012)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My friend stopped talking to me after she rejected me, I'm not sure what to do

My friend said no when I asked her out. It makes sense that she stopped talking to me too.

I guess I expected it when it happened, but that was December 2010. I mean I don't know if that's exactly a long time, but to me, it definitely seems like it.

I've gotten over her, a year and a half seems like adequate time, but it makes me kinda frustrated that She'd turn the other direction when we saw each other in the hallways. I'm not sure if I should just confront her or what, the school year is starting soon and I feel like this needs to end now, I'm more interested in becoming friends with her again than anything else.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2012):

If you were to confront her, what could you really say?

She's not interested you and she's made uncomfortable by your presence a year and a half after the fact. While it can be hurtful to have someone ostracize you, her discomfort with you isn't really your problem. You need to accept that and move on.

Be polite, be yourself, and just find other friends. Chances are if she sees you enjoying yourself with other people (and girls) she'll show interest in you...and then you can decide if you want to be friends with her or not.

Good luck.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (11 August 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntShe "rejected" you... so you don't have to have anything to do with her.... so,.... why would you????

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2012):

After such a long time, you’re best off just trying to move on. It’s a shame that she’s chosen to behave like this, rather than realise that asking her out was a hard thing for you to do, and at least trying to keep the friendship going. Confronting her now will achieve very little other than to make any bad feeling even worse. Just be polite, say hello when she passes, and if she will speak to you, just ask her how she is and chat about every day stuff. If you are polite to her, and she refuses to acknowledge you, it’s her problem. Just be glad with hindsight that she didn’t agree to go out with you if this is how she handles differences of opinion.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (11 August 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntHer looking away has become a habit she may need some help breaking. Dont invade her personal space but when you see her, without making it too obvious, greet her, say hello and leave it at that. It might take a few attempts, and she might never say hello back, but at this stage what you really need it for her to stop pretending she cant see you. UNLESS you did something to warrent her avoiding you at all costs, and we don't know if that is the case.

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A female reader, MissTellAll United States +, writes (11 August 2012):

MissTellAll agony auntPersonally I think that is a long time and you shouldn't let anything about her get to you anymore. If she wants to be immature and run from her problems, let her. If I were you I wouldn't want to be friends with someone so immature and really, full of herself. A year and a half and she still thinks you're after her? Seems a little cocky to me.

Best advice I can give here is simple : let it go.

Best of luck!

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