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How do I move on from his lies? We loved each other, yet now he's married another girl?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Faded love, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 March 2015)
A female Pakistan age 26-29, *tartraveller writes:

I was in love with a guy.

We both loved each other but unfortunately he got married with some other girl from his locality as

He told me that his parents arranged his marriage already and he is sorry because he can't do anything.He can't go against his parents.

i was broken .

Then one day I got managed to talk to her wife.

We talked for a while and she asked me whether I was the one supposed to love her husband or had her husband too loved me.

I told her that love was from both side.She said her husband loves her only and we had a love marriage.

I was shocked because my bf told me a different story - that their marriage was arrange.

I felt that I have been cheated.

One day I met my bf and he was with his wife.

I asked him, why did you lie to me? He replied that he did love me in a time in the past with me and now he loves just his wife and now I should be get lost.

I was in tears . I showed our msgs to his wife but she does not to believe me as she believes only what her husband said to her. I don't know why my lover lied to me.

I just loved in my whole life and I want to know the reason for his infidelity.

He doesn't want to talk to me.

This thing is hurting me from inside. I want to know, why he did this to me?

View related questions: infidelity, move on

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntStep away from him AND his wife.

The MOMENT he married someone else you should have walked away. Whether it's an arranged marriage or not, doesn't mean they can't TRY and make it a loving marriage too.

Why did he do it? Because he could. You were a fantasy to him. Someone he could HAVE, but never marry.

He doesn't want to talk, because HE KNOWS he did you wrong. And YOU are constant reminder to him that HE was NOT a good guy when it came to you.

LET him go, in your hear and your mind. HE wasn't that GREAT guy you thought he were. He was a cheating piece of crud. That is NOT a prize.

Whether you like it or not, you DODGED a bullet here. You could have been the wife, he CHEATED on, yet still married.

Cut the contact 100%. And if a guy is "promised" to someone else end it. Don't settle for being some guy's dirty little secret.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (7 March 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt I'd say it is very obvious why he lied to you.

Because if he had told you- I don't love you, I just want to use you , have some fun for a while and then leave you, and go back to my fiancee' at home, and be a faithful husband to her .... would you have been so stupid to tell him :" oh great idea , fine with me ? ".... I don't think so !

People lie some times, for their selfish ends. Very sad , but hardly surprising.

It does not matter now. Leave him alone. He is married, and whether he loved you for a little while then changed his mind , as he says, or he never loved you and just deceived you ,as his wife says- anyway he is married and you do need to stay out of their life. Maybe he would not deserve to be let be in peace , but his wife, who has done nothing to you, surely deserves it.

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