A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I adore my girlfriend, we have been together two years and have had an extremely rocky relationship. She's lied numerous times, we have broken up but always ended up back together. We argue, like all couples at some point but my biggest problem is I love her but can't feel anything for her in a fancying way at the moment. We spent a while apart a few months back due to work and family commitments and I realised I didn't really miss her. Then I looked at photos of her and I didn't feel that urge, that desire or that wanting I once had. I love her, I do but since then I haven't fancied her. I don't have the urge to touch her or kiss her, I'm happy for her to do it to me but I never make the first move. Along the way we have had issues with her not wanting me about 6 months back and it knocked me for six. It did nothing for my confidence, it made me feel crap and with everything slowly I have given up. I want to be with her, I love her but I need to fancy her again, and I'm not sure how to make it happen...I need to find that desire and passion I once had and want her. I want to look at her and think 'wow' like I used too, I want my tummy to tie in knots over a kiss or touch but I just look at her and feel empty at the moment. It doesn't help there is an age difference, I'm 28 she's 54. Please help....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2015): In my experience having so many arguments, break ups and a 'rocky relationship' as you put it, eventually takes its toll on me. In the beginning it's exciting but after a while I am just sick of it, never knowing where I am or when we will fall out next becomes boring. The arguments become not worth it for the good stuff. That kills my desire in the end and I am just with them for familiarity. You get to the point where the person spends more time pissing you off than making you happy. You look at them and feel nothing. You might feel sad about it but you just can't feel that way about them anymore after so much crap! That's my past experience anyway. At that point it's time to move on. Perhaps that's what happened with you?
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (29 December 2015):
 Things change. You need to consider the reasons you love this person. As time goes on it is less about sex and more about companionship, trust, and the inner qualities in your partner you admire and respect.
You also have to accept the whole package. Your partner may have flaws that drive you mad. But that's what makes them who they are. It's the mix that is unique.
If you don't love this person enough then for goodness sake get out of the way and let her find someone who does. If on the other hand you decide she is special enough for you then do all you can to keep her.
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (29 December 2015):
At 54 and 28 the age gap is beginning to show .. has she changed in looks wise ?? I mean your talking about physical attraction here..lust. .desire and more often thats how when we see a pic we get those knot feeling or want to kiss the person . Also you have the factor that 6 months ago she was turning you away .. so maybe you have built barriers ( as rmn) I would say you need to consider these q's1. Has your partner changed in looks .. gained weight .. aged more ?2. Are you still hurt, angry, confused at what happened 6 months ago ?If you provide some more information, really sorry to ask, maybe we can get a better scope on what's going on .. Take care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2015): well young man your stomach isnt gonna tie in knots for her any more.You just managed to cougarize her which is all she wanted but the sands of time are telling you to move on.Do the brave thing you cougar hunter and tread another pathway.She has male admirers of her own age and she never expected to keep a young whipper snapper like you happy forever...she has ways of turning you off.If you want to do a gallant exit you buy an absurd amount of flowere and slip a note in saying "darling my heart will always belong to you, I will dream about your beauty when I sleep but now I must move on in my quest for truth , justice, and equality.you will always be a true source of inspiration to me."Then you go awol forever unless you pop back with an occassional bunch of love busting flowers so that she remembers you gratefully in her will...or just send the flowers with no name but "to my true inspiration" every week.you will deserve to be remembered in the will if only to reimburse the cost of the flowers over the years.
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