A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have failed to get over my ex.. We dated for 2 years.. We were amazing together... The challenge was always two things.. He was a liar and not financially dependable..I am a working woman of 34 years with a daughter.. I can support myself..He is a refugee not working.. Partly because of his status.. When I met him I knew what I was getting into. So I did not demand much and partly supported the relationship.. I didn't mind doing that... I however noticed that he is lazy.. I pushed him to find something to do.. Say a business I could support but he seemed reluctant... All the time.. I am a self driven independent person.. So it usually came off us pushy... I let it go... Though I he never asked for support.. I was obliged.. For example of I wanted to go to a nice restaurant..that he can't afford.. I had to pay or I might never visit good places if I am to wait on him.. The other point... He was a chronic liar... He lied practically 70% of his stories.. Partly because he wanted to show me that his got his life in control... And partly because my life was intimidating to him.. So when I would get him lying... I would tell him to stop..The last straw came when he entered a high end bar that belonged to a friend and ordered for drinks on my tab.. Something he had done before n had warned him about... He thought I was the forgiving type.. Which I am but I tend to just stop abruptly.. Which I didHis however a good person in general.. Loved my daughter .. Always helpful and available... And very loving... I dumped him 2 years back n he begged n begged but I refused.. Because one I was tired of his lying n neediness... He moved on.. Got a girlfriend.. N according to Social media look happy together... He still call me like one a month... Saying how his missing me.. But I refuse to meet him though I am very polite he doesn't know how I feel... In short I have really failed to get over him... When he calls me.. Thought I act subtle and not interested during the call, those are the times I feel happy.. I mgot another person but it didn't last because I was not feeling them.. I have blocked him on social media after realizing that his happiness depresses me.. However I haven't blocked him on call... Cause I don't want to... How do I get over him?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2020):
 I am sure my collleagues told you already, but : if you don't want to block him on call , then you don't really want to get over him. You want to hang on to him nail and teeth, instead.
Which is fine: your choice. You don't have necessarily to want what would be good for you :). But at least be conscious of what your intentions and motivations really are . And make them correspond to your actions.
If and when you decide that enough is enough, you want to get over him- then you will have to cut him out of your life as much as humanly possible. No ifs and buts.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2020): "However I haven't blocked him on call... Cause I don't want to..."
"How do I get over him?"
Simple...
Block his number, and stop taking his calls!
You asked and answered your own question!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 February 2020):
 Why haven't you just BLOCKED his number? If YOU allow him to pop up and REMIND you that he is out there... HOW are you to get over him?
That is like someone who has a bruise but wants to forget it, yet they keep POKING a finger in it wondering when it will stop hurting!
You check out his social media - point #2.. WHY would you do that? IF you really want to move forward?
You already know he isn't an honest person, or hard working or even COMPATIBLE to you.
He has got a new Sugar Momma - someone who will pay so HE doesn't HAVE to. Sure they LOOK happy. You said it yourself you WERE happy with him (or at least that is what you like to tell yourself so you don't have to ACCEPT reality, that he was/is a USER and a LIAR).
Block, unfriend, delete, remove.... GET on with your life.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (10 February 2020):
 You're still in contact with this guy and you're wondering why you can't get over him... You need a CLEAN break. Block him on social media and block his number. You're torturing yourself. Good people don't do what he has done. Good people don't use other people so stop fooling yourself. You're really complicating this when there's a definite solution here (it's also an obvious one) so in conclusion I will reiterate my point: BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (10 February 2020):
 Yes, he probably seems very "happy" on social media, because people only post the happy bits of their relationship, not the bits where they are fighting about being lazy and a liar and sponging off some gullible person. I am sure his new girlfriend wouldn't be very "happy" if she found out he was still in regular contact with his ex and telling her how much he missed her, which he would do given that she supported him, took him to fancy restaurants and let him get away with using her as a meal ticket.
Sweetheart, he is a charmer.Charmers will lie to your face until the cows come home to get what they want. You need to remember that words are cheap. It's ACTIONS you need to take note of, and his actions never matched his words.
You will move on the day you decide you no longer need his phony calls to tell you how much he misses you.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (10 February 2020):
 It’s hard to believe you want to get over him when you’re still allowing him to call you. How can you forget about someone that you speak to every month? Do you realise how silly that sounds?
He was a liar and a user, how exactly does that make him a good person?
Block ALL of his contact. Out of sight, out of mind. Very simple.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (10 February 2020):
 You get over him by reminding yourself of every time that he did something that you didn't like or that you had asked him not to do and he did it anyways. You remind yourself that he lied, he stole and he was lazy. He made you do all the work and it was always your $$. You tell yourself that you deserve better. Stop focusing on the good and remember the bad. Remind yourself that if you stayed with him you would probably be his sugar mama the whole time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2020): Read your own post! You do not want to block his ability to phone you, because you do not want to! Are you a fool or what? You keep looking at his social media! Are you a fool or what? You said he is a chronic liar, but an overall good person?????? I will not ask you a third time, if you are a fool. In fact, you have indeed shown yourself to be a fool by your very own words!
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