A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm nineteen and my ex is eighteen. Four months ago, he and I broke up after a terrible two-year relationship. He physically and mentally abused me and then decided to cheat on me (with a chick he has become friends with benefits with). Anyway, just about every other Friday, I end up "going back" to him; meaning, we end up having sex and call it a night. It IS impossible to get over him this way.I always feel used, taken advantage of, violated, hurt, depressed, pissed off; absolutely no sense of relief when we're finished. I really have no idea why I keep going back, but I do, and it's really starting to wear on my sanity. Of course, my ex is okay with all of this because he has other girls to get "it" from, but he's the only guy I've ever had sex with and it's getting ridiculously hard to find another boyfriend.And it really does not help that the guy lives just a block away from me. I have no idea what to do, but he is going off to a university eight hours South of here in the Fall and I'll be staying up here to finish off some Gen Eds before going to a university out of state. Help it greatly appreciated. For not only getting over my ex but to find another boyfriend. Thanks.
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broke up, depressed, friend with benefits, my ex, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone here who left advice. I realize I don't exactly haven't the highest level of self-esteem or self-respect, but I'm trying. It's hard to forget the first love, though.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): i have to say i agree with emily. But the good news is this jerk is going away to uni. This will in effect take the problem away. Once he's gone you'll be able to move on as you will not be bumping into him when you go out.
You really need to stand back and take stock of your life. It's sad that someone so young cannot see that they are worthy of so much more than being used by someone who is lucky to have you talk to them let alone sleep with him as and when he clicks his fingers. You need to realsie that YOU are special and deserve to be treated with love and respect. Anything less is not good enough.
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 April 2009):
Well we can't tell you anything here if you keep going back to him.
You can't quit anything if you keep doing it.
Until you take control of this situation and stop having sex with him then you won't be able to get over him.
As for getting a boyfriend I seriously think you need to sort your head out and get some self respect before you go out with anyone else. At the moment you have so much baggage to deal with that you really shouldn't any other emotional issues to your plate.
Good Luck!! xx
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