A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For those of you in a long distance relationship, how do you cope with saying goodbye (til next time)? I normally get a few days with my man every couple weeks but I only got one day this time around and at the risk of sounding like a big, fat baby..I just want to curl up in a ball and cry because I miss him already and it's only been a few hours. I usually start getting upset before we separate and he always teases me about it so I imagine it doesn't affect him as much, but still..it's such a crappy feeling! I don't have any friends where I live and I take online classes so I don't get out much at all, which makes it even harder because I can't distract myself. How do you deal with it?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 October 2011):
 Ah I so feel your pain. 18 months is not a long long long time to wait... do you two get summers together... for us one of the biggest things that helped was I was out of work for most of the summer recovering from surgery and we were able to be together ALL SUMMER... it made us realize how much we really do want this.
do you talk on the phone every day?
do you email?
do you plan your weekends together... talk about the daily mundane life things...
There are some GREAT support sites for LDRs I think one is called Loving from a distance... google LDR support and see what you can find.. finding others in your situation even if only online will help.
do you like to play board games? I can easily find board gamers for you to play with.... that's how I met my boyfriend actually... feel free to message me in private if you prefer...
A
female
reader, mjr_894 +, writes (11 October 2011):
 OP here..
The FWB was a typo, we've been in a serious relationship for almost two years now. I plan on moving closer to him when I finish school (year and a half) so I know the distance won't last forever but it still sucks!
I live in a small town so it's hard to find stuff to do. I joined a gym last week to keep me busy, but as for hobbies and meeting people, that might be more difficult. I plan on taking courses on campus starting January, but I've always been more shy and I've had a couple friends that I was close to for years just disappear on me when I needed them the most so it's hard for me to make friends nowadays.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 October 2011):
when I figure it out I'll tell you.
We are two hours apart not FWB but seriously involved and I stay till the last possible minute (I left him sleeping in bed this morning at 6 am so I could get to work by 9 am)...
it kills me. I cry... he cries.. he holds on to me and won't let me up because he wants me to stay... he drinks the night before so that it doesn't hurt as much knowing that I am going... we count and figure out how many nights apart we are... it's insanity...
you should get out... join a gym, get a hobby that gets you out to meet people... something.
is there any chance you two will be closing the distance?
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (11 October 2011):
You need your own friends and your own life. This is how you deal better with a long-distance relationship.
Your boyfriend is not the sum of who you are. You are more than your relationship. Sitting at home, crying when he is not around is not healthy.
Maybe you should try and have classes in school, rather than online. You need to meet more people, and have an engaging social life. This will bring balance to your life, and put your relationship in a more healthier context.
More generally you also need to have a date in which the long distance relationship ends, a time when you two can be closer together. Long term relationships only last when they are long term for a fixed period of time.
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