A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About 7 months ago I got out of a long term relationship. Almost as soon as that relationship ended I began seeing a co-worker and friend of my ex-boyfriends (they are not great friends but they do work together and they have mutual friends and sometimes hang out outside of work, and I did meet my new guy through my ex). When it began it was just a fling, I didn’t think it would go anywhere and we decided it would be best to keep it from my ex because it would make things difficult, but it has been five months now and I feel like it would be best for us to finally tell my ex about us. But he is not ready to do that, I am worried that the secret relationship we are having is just a convenient way for him to continue living his single life and have all the benefits of a relationship when he feels like it. Several times I have seen provocative messages from other girls on his cell phone and his facebook, I feel like I can’t trust him unless he is willing to commit to me and begin to act like my boyfriend. Any opinions would be great! Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): After seven months I'd say you should be able to be a couple. It does sound as if he is behaving like a single person. I would say at this point it needs to be out in the open or called off.
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