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How do I cope with parents now I'm pregnant?

Tagged as: Family, Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2017) 9 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2017)
A female South Africa age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone,

I need some advice and hope right now. I'm soon to be 18 and I'm pregnant...

I'm happy to have the baby and I'm happy for my bf too but our parents...

Please, I don't want anyone to judge, there will be enough of that, thank you.

You see, I wasn't supposed to date anyone till I'm 20, but I met my bf and we started dating. His parents know, but not mine.

Now I'm pregnant. I'm a Christian and my parents were raised old-school, meaning that they still believe in strong discipline...

I'm not really worried about my bf's parents as much as about mine; not trying to sound selfish though. I don't want my parents to hurt or take my bf away.

I don't think they will take him away, because he's the father of my my baby and the right thing to do is to get married. We do love each other very much and honestly we were and are thinking of getting married...

I really need some encouragement on telling them, with people or alone. (preferably with people)

I'm scared, but I also don't want my mom or dad to get hurt physically; like getting a heart attack or something. It has been tough times for our family since I was 6 years old and we moved from my birthplace.

Please, any suggestions or hope, or even life stories for either me or my bf will be appreciated.

Thank you very much

View related questions: christian

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A female reader, deirdre Ireland + , writes (6 June 2017):

Your boyfriend should approach your parents since they will see it as his fault. There are organisations in south Africa that will advise you, please look it up on google to see what is in your area. Good luck

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (22 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHow did things go Sweetie?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2017):

-Poster

thank you everyone... this has helped me. I still feel nervous, but much better.

At least I know there are people out there that are willing to help my bf and I with our baby.

We are thankful

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (17 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntDon't rush in to marriage you are only young. I understand that you are worried but you need to look after yourself and your baby now. Your parents will be hurt and angry but they will am sure get over it once they meet their grandchild. You and your boyfriend should both tell them together, do the respectful thing and don't leave it to long. 20 was their rule, but we don't always follow our parents rules so try and not worry about it.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States + , writes (17 May 2017):

Your boyfriend needs to man up and stand beside while you tell your parents. They'll be hurt and angry but if they love you they'll come around. Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2017):

You were not allowed to date until 20? That is not normal. I am worried about you because you say they are Christian. Knowing how most Christians act I cannot help but worry. I was raised in a very Christian home so I know how it is for you. I would move out first. If they are really bad brainwashed with their religion they might force you into a rehab from sex kind of place that takes your baby from you because...gasp to them you are sinner.and gasp..if any of their Church friends find out their reputation in the church is over. Guideline....I am laughing at that. Christians are the most Ridgid and judgemental people alive. They put children who are born differently? then them in camps and schools witch abuse them physically and emotionally and many of those children kill themselves because they are taught they are damaged when in fact they are not. Get your own place. Do not tell them until way after the baby is born and they cannot take it away. Get married have a good life. You can be a Christian and not be like that but it is very rare. If you must tell them maybe have your boyfriend and his parents present in order to protect you and your baby. Be careful...They might trick you in thinking everything is fine to get you to go somewhere not in your best interests regarding this. Move out be safe

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2017):

Get married ASAP. Let him and his parents come and ask for your hand from your parents after that let your mum know your condition. She and your father will be disappointed but they will realise that marriage is the best solution and once you are married and the baby is born and they hold it in their arm I assure you all will be forgiven.

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A female reader, DancerGirl1984 United Kingdom + , writes (16 May 2017):

You won't have any judgement from me. I was also a teenage mother (17) My daughter is now 14 years old. The only difference between you and me is that you have your parents. I lost both at 15.

I can guarantee that when your baby is born, your parents will come around.Please, don't jump into a marriage to please your parents religious views. This will only cause more problems down the line.

Enjoy the pregnancy.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (16 May 2017):

Denizen agony auntMarriage would fix most of the problems. Your parents might be upset that you didn't wait until this arbitrary age of 20 but that isn't a law, it is just their guideline.

As you have a little one on the way that guideline seems superfluous now, wouldn't you agree?

So the next best thing from their point of view is that you are married. However only do this if you both want it or else you will be untangling your lives hereafter.

Good luck with the pregnancy. Keep your stress levels down, eat good things and include your partner in the journey.

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