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Is he using health issues as an excuse?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 May 2017)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been with my wonderful man for over a year (I'm 38 and he is 36) and we're engaged.

My issue right now is that my fiancé has been through a lot medically. He was in a Coma for over 2 months and came out with more conditions, neuropathy and re occurring skin rash psoriasis that comes over parts of his body including his private area which he is very sensitive about.

His flare ups are caused by stress. I knew this when we first met but he hardly wants sex from me, he pleases me to the fullest. He pleases me more than I please him and it's very frustrating for me because I want him so bad it hurts.

I'm a very understanding person I would never cheat or betray him for any reason. We're soul mates and I have expressed my feelings to him about this many times on how I feel. He makes hardly any effort to try to help the situation. For example he has medication for the rash but forgets to put it on and my mind thinks he's not trying to help the situation and using his condition as an excuse to get out of me pleasing him.

It's been 4 weeks since he’s let me get him off. I don't suspect him of cheating but I do think about it often because he's currently not working and I have a day job. and This is a problem as well because my mind wonders what's he doing all day. I've brought up the sex issue with him more than 3 times and he's not improved with his actions. Any help or advice would greatly be appreciated as I'm a little lost and is tearing me apart.

Best Regards,

View related questions: engaged, soul mates, soulmate

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (17 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntMaybe you both need to speak to a counselor, he is getting over a traumatic experience and you are feeling neglected in this relationship, you do both need to chat and help understand each other and maybe a counselor would help you both achieve that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2017):

Although it can be frustrating for you maybe he just embarrassed ...if you carnt put up with it long term get out now.....have another chat with him about using the treatment he has ....tell him you carnt stay in a relationship like this and for it to work he has to help himself however he may just have a low sex drive and you may have to except this

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (16 May 2017):

Tisha-1 agony auntIf your soulmate was in a coma for over 2 months then he's had a severe condition. What caused him to be in a coma?

You obviously associate sexual arousal and ejaculation as expressions of love and care. He ensures you feel loved and cared for by him.

I'd suggest that you need to educate yourself on his conditions and the lasting effects of his trauma/disease/condition.

He'd probably appreciate your understanding his health needs more than your insisting he produce semen as a testament of his love toward you.

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