A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I feel that my boyfriend is too close to his baby mother. He is always making her come to his house with the kids. He insists they are just friends. His baby mother is a lesbian and she tried to come on to me the other night while she was over at his house. I let him know about it but he didn't seem very concerned.Their relationship makes me uncomfortable and she makes me feel nervous and cautious. They talk with each other so comfortably and She has been coming over more often recently. My boyfriend Just told me tonight that she is going to be coming to hang out again with us on the weekend with the kids. I don't know how to handle this situation.Please help.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 September 2016):
 It sounds to me like he may want a three some and that is why she is hanging out all the time, why else would he not go mad at the idea off someone coming on to you? That's just not natural. Sweetie look if it does not feel right then you should consider ending this. You are very young to be caught in this mess.
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (11 September 2016):
 It's a bit suspicious for me, with her coming onto you and hanging out along with the kids. By all means she can drop the kids off let them have time with Dad, him have good communication with the EX, but no thanks to hanging around... unless she needs to formally meet you a couple of times too check you out for the kids sake.
For me the kids are one reality for the rest of your relationship with this guy, but the Ex popping up will make it over crowded? However take this opportunity to learn something about these situations in life. If you don’t like what you see and it becomes uncomfortable or too weird, you don’t have to stay with him or put up with it?
I’d rather see you have a relationship at your age with someone who doesn’t have children already and or an Ex who he needs to cooperate with. As this will always divide his attention away from you and be a distraction. You need a guy who can devote his time to you, someone who hasn’t got extra luggage (kids) and or strange arrangements with their Ex.
Take Care - CAA
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2016): It depends what's going on. Firstly it is absolutely right he sees his kids often and they are obviously the most important thing in his life- more important than you are or than any other woman. It is vital that he sees them and therefore probably he will have some interaction with their mother.
However on the other side, if you feel for any reason that that's not what's happening here and its not really about the kids or the kind of friendship that you would hope two parents have even after they've split up, then you are absolutely right to get out of there.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (10 September 2016):
 I am guessing this guy is a bit older than you? How come he had kids with the mother if she is a lesbian? Did she decide she was a lesbian after the relationship, or was it an arrangement so she could have children?
To be honest, darling, at your age, you don't need to be in such a complicated set-up.
You know something is not right. Believe your gut feeling and find yourself a nice uncomplicated relationship.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (10 September 2016):
 They may be friends which is good for the kids but this sounds like a bit of a set up to me. Like he is testing the waters for a bit of sexual action between you all. If your age is correct, run. Just add water parenting relationships can be all that bit too much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2016): Don't stay in the relationship then, something in your gut says things aren't right so listen to it. Who knows what it is, but you aren't comfortable with their relationship or even being around her and when she tried to come on to you he shouldve said something. To me it almost sounds like he's still got something going on with her and she's possibly tried coming on to you to test the water for a threesome or some other situation...If I were you, I'd rather be happy on my own. It's more than reasonable that he wants to see his children - but he doesn't need to do do it with her so often. Parents who separate have separate time with their children, and the children cope just fine and often it's for the best as makes it clear for the children that their parents are separated. Any decent parent will arrange to see their children regularly but I wouldnt be comfortable with someone arranging to see their ex for the whole time too.
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