A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I really really need some advice... I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. When we first met I lived in a different city. After I finished my degree we decided to be together, so I moved to be with him (I do have family here as well)In our 3 years of being together we went through tough times as his dad passed away.My current problem is that we live together, but he is very jealous and that started to put a damper on our physical relationship. I.e he would fight with me if I wear a dress which isn't even short by the way and then I automatically withdraw myself. I do love him to death but we just don't have that spark anymore. Now a month or so ago I met a really nice guy at work, as he is one of our clients. He is from Italy and recently moved to SA. The thing is that he comes into the office on a regular basis. And he always takes the time to talk to me. I really enjoy talking to him and he even came round the office last week just so that he could invite me to his birthday party. I told him I had a boyfriend and he said he only wants to be friends and I can even bring by boyfriend to his do. When I declined, due to other plans, he invited me to have coffee...I do think he is quite attractive and obviously feel guilty about that, but I can't help it. He seems really interested in me, may it be just as friends or more, that I don't know. But for some reason I really want to go and have coffee with him. What should I do?
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at work, jealous, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2012): I totally agree with what SensitiveBloke said.
Do you really want to get together with someone who tries to steal other people's girlfriends???
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (13 September 2012):
 If you're not happy with your boyfriend, then deal with this first before you start looking for someone else.
Do you really want to get together with someone who pursues other people's girlfriends?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to add to my question, I don't have a roving eye and I'm not planning on messing around with other people's feelings. I only want the best solution for everyone involved, especially my current boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Clearly you want out of your relationship now. IF you did not you would not be asking what to do...
And do not tell me that it's because he wants to be friends.... YOU KNOW you are thinking... "what if...."
best advice I can give you is this:
you will probably eventually be ending it with the jealous controlling man.. it will not be pleasant or pretty and the sooner you do it the better... you could drag on for years with this guy but eventually you will have enough and you will want out... I know I did. At 21 I was content to be controlled by a man... at 29 I left him.. with two small children, no job, no home no life, no future, but i could not longer take being emotionally abused...
I suggest you figure out how to extract yourself from your current relationship, heal a bit and then figure out what to do about your "friend"...
while finding other people attractive when you are in a relationship is normal, wondering what to do about it is not.
for me it would be easy... he would ask me for coffee... I would go but half the conversation would be about my fiance and our life together... because I'm not LOOKING for someone to take me away from my unhappy situation so I don't worry about coffee with other men and neither does my fiance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): Hi, just to add to my question- I don't have a roving eye. This is the first time since being with my boyfriend that I took notice of someone else...
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