A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 18 years , my boyfriend is 25 years old. we have been together for about 6 months. This is the longest relationship i have been in. in the first month and a half that we had been together i lost my virginity to him and then three months into the relationship i found out that he had cheated on me with his so called ex girlfriend. i met her and she told me they were still together but he said they had slept together so she assumed they got back together. so i took his side and i forgave him and decided to give him a second chance. However after that the relationship has been pretty shaky cuz i keep having doubts in him... sometimes i get suspicious as he does not call me as much as he should. sometimes it seems when i am angry with him, he tells me what i want to hear... actions speak louder than words, his actions don't agree with his words. is he playing me? can he really be in love with me?
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Having doubts is natural in this situation. The guy yielded to the easy temptation of sleeping with his ex when he'd already started a new relationship.
I agree with DiovanLestat. What has his attitude been over his lapse of fidelity? How sorry was he? How clear was his break with his past behaviour? How strong is his commitment to making your relationship work? He's got a lot to make up to you. It's his responsibility to make sure you feel doubly triply confident in the security of this relationship.
I think you should talk to him about your feelings. Don't accuse, that's something to be used in the last resort, not to be harped on. But if you're having these feelings, he's the only one who can give you the reassurance you need.
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Hi there, Please take a look at everything you have mentioned about him and your relationship. First of all, did he ask you to be his girlfriend? Have the two of you discussed if you are going to be a couple. Some kind of
mutual agreement would or should be arrived at, to think that you two are actually a couple, if you two have not made a commitment to each other, then it is hard to see how you can have a twosome. I hope that I am making sense to you. One thing in your letter you stated, that he said he slept with his ex-girlfriend, and so she assumed they were back together. Is that the way he explained it, you two are together, but he sleeps with her, and she, she assumes they
are back together. What is on his mind, why did he sleep with her so casually and then blame it on her thinking they were back together because they slept with each other. I don't understand this, and you need to dig deeper with this or maybe you need to find someone who treats you with some dignity, and is not sleeping around, just because he can.
In a relationship, there have to be perimeters, agreed to by both parties, this does not appear to be the case here. He is doing what he wants and I think you two, need a long talk and you need to get some answers and to make some decisions. Are you happy in this relationship? You must be true to yourself and demand repsect, or people will disrespect you and try to make you accept garbage, and that is very hard to digest. Demand more, and you will receive more, accept less, and you will receive less than nothing. Love includes mutual respect, and most of all, honesty. Take care and very good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, Hotstuff_405 +, writes (10 June 2008):
you totally should leave him before you get in to deep and when he cheats again itll only hurt more..i was in the same situation you were in and i believed the guy that cheated with his ex itll only get worse. Do not believe him just leave him before you really are in love..im telling you it is not worth the pain in the end.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): He cheated on you with his ex girlfriend. He had sex with someone else whilst you were in a relationship together. This is not a good sign. Why did he cheat? Why did he come back. Does he treat you with respect, dose he make you feel love and wanted? Has he tried to correct his behaviour, has he said sorry, has he tried to show you how sorry he is?
I would be very wary about this guy. If he can cheat, if he dosen't show you the attention you deserve, how can you be sure that he loves and respects you.
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