A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well im in love with this guy who lives in a different state and he loves me we started going back out yesterday and hes coming to see me in two weeks hes gonna get me pregnant so i can have his baby when he is in iraq but i dont know if i put his last name on the babys birth certificate or my last name? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): That's cool
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): Thats quite alright. Thank you for the apology, it means a lot.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm sorry if i offended you guys i was just pissed at the time i wrote that i'm so sorry and i appreciate you all for your help thank you all and have a wonderful day:D
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 July 2008):
 Congrats to the Aunt's. "and i wouldnt want to bring a baby into this life with all you stuck up witches anyway" our work here is finished!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): Okay, they were just giving you advice that they thought you might need to realize.By your reply it shows that you are pretty immature. You may hate me for it, you might think I'm a stuck up witch, but until you have a house together, until you know your guy won't die a hero and leave you alone, and until you have at least graduated!!- I think you should leave it a bit. How do you know if your going to be together forever?! You might not?! You both might fall out.Get some qualifications, got to University if you want to, get a job, meet new people, get experience, grow up a bit then start thinking about children.Now I know your going to disagree with all of that, and probably give me a very low rating, but we are only doing this to help you. We could all be helping someone else. You'd be unhappy if we didn't reply at all. Its good to get other peoples opinion who knows all about being an adult. As in, a proper, working for a living, know how difficult children are, adult.Answering the original question, personally, it should be your guys surname but only because I thought it was traditional.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): Selfishness and childish name calling? Jeez...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhim and him aren't together...so don't worry...and by the way i'm not being selfish cause i want to bring a baby into this world... i've known this guy for a very long time...we didnt get to meet up. so i'm not pregnant or anything so you all have nothing to worry about..and i wouldnt want to bring a baby into this life with all you stuck up witches anyway
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): I hope you realise how selfish you're being before it's too late.
...............................
A
female
reader, xheartside +, writes (10 June 2008):
 I hope that you have enough sound mind to wait to make a child with a man you love and adore at a time where you are financially and emotionally secure enough to raise a beautiful baby into a whiny, selfish teenager.They are not babies forever.Try living your life a little before you have to focus on someone elses' for eighteen years.
...............................
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Have you looked into the legal issues in your country? I believe it can be easier to have the biological father pay maintenance money for the child if the surname appears on the certificate....but either way he will still be liable I think.
My husband grew up with a different surname to his mum - and says he found that difficult at times during his schooling.
I tend to agree with the other posters tho - you really need to think through what you're planning...that cute little baby will be 12 and talking back one day...are you sure you want to potentially give up your young life to be a mum?? You've got plenty of time - and if you and your man are really so in love wouldn't it be better to have him there to rub your belly, hold your hand when you're in labour and maybe get up for that midnight feed so you can get more than 3 hours straight sleep???
Don't make an uninformed decision that you may regret one day...what you're thinking about is a HUGE step, a HUGE responsibility...you can't take a baby back to the shop if you get it home and decide you changed your mind!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): No wonder my country is going to crap!I am 16 too and you are selfish .Enough said
...............................
A
male
reader, Devil Spawn  +, writes (10 June 2008):
 If I actually knew where you lived I would dobb you into child protection services. So sick of these stupid stupid little girls trying to be grown up.A real grown woman would take the time to grow up and be able to provide for a child, not just financiall but also with life experiences.Why dont you wait until he comes back and then see how things go at the very least?Why do you think this is a good idea? Can you afford to support it or is he going to? LOL. YOU JUST MET THIS GUY!!I hope that you don't fall pregnant. I am sick of young women like you chucking away their lives whilst so many sick children would love the chances and opportunities that you have.
...............................
A
female
reader, illiduh +, writes (10 June 2008):
i put my daughter in my fiances last name because its easier that way so you dont have to go through all the paperwork when you get married if you do. and also hes her daddy and she should have his last name and it makes me happy too!
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Hi,
Why don't you put it too your parents. I am sure they would love to know about your future plans considering that will be working very hard to support a single mother.
good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (10 June 2008):
 It's your decision which last name you want to put. I personally would go with your own last name, since you're not married to this lad - that way if you get married later you can change it, and if things don't work out, your baby won't be stuck with a different name to you.
Lecture time - are you sure you want to have a baby at your age, with a lad you only /just/ started dating again? And why have his baby while he's overseas? Surely it'd be better for both of you to have him there to support you through pregnancy and childbirth and all those things? There's no harm in waiting a while. Don't go doing silly things just because you're in the throes of young love. Lecture over.
In any case, good luck to you, whatever you decide.
...............................
|
