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He went to visit his ex and is not back yet. Should I wait or move on?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating, Sex, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 February 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 27 February 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My man found out he has a 14 yr old daughter just recently. He went to visit her on 2/12/13 and hasn't returned yet. I know her mother wants to be with him again. His daughter is having problems in school. My question is should

i move on or wait for him to come home. We have been together for 5 years.

View related questions: his ex, move on

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (27 February 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt If he calls you or texts you every day, i.e. did not go AWOL and does not avoid contact, I would not fret just yet. I'd have some more patience. After all, he has 14 years of missed fatherhood to catch up with.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013):

Hi, I really think you need to have a heart to heart chat with him. Its good he is calling and sending you text but it seems like he is trying to make up to his daughter for teh 14 years that he lost.

I believe he loves you and is just making up for the lost time. Yes there is a risk that his ex will try and get him back and him daughter might use emmotional blackmail but I would just give him a chance , also you have a 5 year history and I am sure that means something to him. Why dont you pay him a surprise visit and take control of teh situation.

You want to learn the truth about where you stand do it in person. If nothing is happening with teh ex, he would welcome your surprise visit. You should juust tell him you decided to surprise because u love him and miss him and also want to lend your support and welcome him daughter into your life.

Its upto you to fight for what you have or throw it away because you feel insecure.

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A female reader, crying123 United States +, writes (27 February 2013):

thanks he does call or text everyday

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013):

he texts or call everyday but everyday the time gets extended when he will return. I'm hurting and don't know what to do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013):

Are you absolutely sure "your man" isn't a married man? Don't you find it strange he left 2 weeks ago, yet not a word?

If you have a leased apartment; change the locks, if you don't get an explanation...and soon. If you don't share responsibility for your living situation, pack your bags and get out of there.

You need to move on in any case. He has a daughter to support and the mother of his child wants him back. He leaves you after being with you for 5 years, and doesn't bother to call you for all that time. Why would you want him back?

Why bother asking what's going on? It's obvious that he has left you to tend to more pressing matters, and doesn't feel you deserve an explanation. So it seems.

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A male reader, anon_e_mouse United Kingdom +, writes (27 February 2013):

anon_e_mouse agony auntHas he been in touch at all or have you heard nothing? Did you guys agree how long this was for or when he'll be back?

If he went to visit her 2 weeks ago and you've not heard anything since my advice is, leave without fuss, and move on. Find someone else.

Why not ask him what's going on?

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