A
female
age
41-50,
*itty13
writes:I've been with my husband 6years now and married 2years and got a 1yr old daughter. Recently things haven't been good between us and I found messages on his phone from and to a girl who he works with saying how they missed and loved each other and how i was doing his head. He swears they are just friends, but i don't know what to do.
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Hi
Hes lying. What do your instincts say?
What a horrible situation to be in. Does he actually look you in the eye & swear on his childs life he isnt lying about it?
If he can do that, & he is lying, he needs help really to be honest.
Hope you get the answers off him you deserve!
C xxxxx
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 He's lying about the "just friends" part.
So now the ball is in your court. Do you want to continue to enable his cheating behaviour or do you want to salvage your self-respect?
A healthy marriage is based upon mutual trust and respect. It provides a loving and stable environment for your child. If you can honestly say that you have mutual trust and respect in your marriage, then good for you. If you cannot, then it's time for you to make a stand for the sake of your child. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, JessIzFit +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Maybe you need to sit him down and have a conversation with him, it doesn't sound right and you need to straighten things out !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Eyeswide is right. They are not just friends. How come you don't know about her? Ever met her?
Cheating of the mind is still cheating. And if they are going so far as to talk about "loving" and "missing" each other, then, they are probably physically involved too. I think he is lying to you.
And like eyes says, if he won't agree to stop this, then you need to kick him to the curb. He should respect you and your family more, no matter how much you've been fighting.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Doesn't sound like "just friends" to me. Time for a nice long chat. If he doesn't agree to knock off this nonsense with his co-worker then you might want to think about a separation. Good luck and keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Well the evidence is against him. You've seen what he's been doing so there's no way he can just say 'we're just friends'. He's probably been having an affair or why else would they say how much they love each other?
You need to leave him, give yourself time to think and decide what to do. You deserve better hun. I really hope everything works out.
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