A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i'm sort of seeing/sleeping w/ a guy that i think i'm in love w/ but the problem is he has a girlfriend for six years and we have been cheating on her for 4 years already. it has come to a point that that i almost broke it off w/ him but i really couldn't do it, just the thought of not seeing him anymore makes me break into tears. i even convinced myself that if he really loves the (other girl) we wouldn't last 4yrs and he wouldn't risk being caught if i don't mean anything to him, it even came to a point that he asked me to go over his place so that he could introduce me to her so that she wouldn't suspect that something is going on between us.i don't have the guts to ask him what we are exactly coz i'm afraid of what his answer might be. i love him so much i really do i don't want to lose him! I know what i got myself into so i don't have the right to complain even if i feel so jealous whenever their together. she works as a nurse and saturday and sunday are their only time together but those weekends that he's w/ her i cant help but think how happy they are and that i cant do anything about it. i love him so much i want him to be mine i need him... what should i do? please help me!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): I bet his GIRLFRIEND would like more commitment too! Obviously you have no respect for other women or yourself. This guy doesn't care about you or he wouldnt have another woman as his girlfriend for FOUR years! He's not in love with you, he's a cheater and bottom line - he's not ever going to be your boyfriend.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Even if this guy did break up with his gf for you, how could you trust him? You already know that he's willing to cheat...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 if he was ever going to leave his GF for you he would have done it already.
you are nothing but a playtoy to him. you mean nothing to him but a bit of fun and games sex...
you need to listen to CindyCares.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Oh no, he would risk. People risk getting caught, and ruining their family ,after a 20 or 30 years marriage, for a bit of fun on the side ! When people start reasoning with their genitalia rather than with their brain, well, apparently genitalia have a stronger force of persuasion.
Why do you want to ask him "what you are " ? After 4 years, you know what you are : clandestine lovers. FWBs at best.
Is that going to change ? Well, we can't say NO on principle, but it's very very very unlikely. This situation worked well for him so far , he's eating his cake and having it too.
Of course you could try and force his hand, telling him : either you dump her , or I am gone , but if you haven't done it so far, it's because you have good reasons to believe that he just would let you go.
What you should do is walking away, and find a single guy who'll be happy to devote his weekends to you.
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