A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey I really need advice just now. I was going out with my boyfriend for over a year but we broke up last night. It's because last night I was on the computer typing up something for work and I ended up coming across some photos of him and another woman having sex! They appeared to be recent, and were dated a month after we started dating. I left without saying much and really upset. I phoned a friend and he said a mutual friend of ours had slept with him, but the details seemed a bit sketchy. I've caught my friend out lying a few times, so I'm not sure if that's the truth. Anyway, I talked it over with my boyfriend and he said that these photos aren't him and they were just in a bunch of stuff he downloaded a while back. We made up for the time being but last night I just couldn't get what I saw out my head. It hurt thinking that basically our entire relationship had been a lie. Like I wasn't enough. Therefore today I decided we should at least take a break. He didn't seem too bothered, but I'm feeling really hurt and betrayed, but I'm not sure if this is really something permanent. I'm really confused as to what to do. Please help me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): Your boyfriend's story is nonsense. And the fact that he dosn't appear too upset by the break is another reason to make it permanent.
Walk away from this one.
A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (18 June 2011):
 I don't understand your confusion.
Either the pictures on HIS computer are of him, or they are not of him. After a year of being together, I assume that you know what he looks like from all sorts of angles. Like he just 'happened' to download pictures of a guy who looks remarkably like he does. Besides, I don't know why anyone would keep sexual pictures on their computer. Whats that all about? How did you find them, by the way? Snooping?
So the only question in your mind should be whether to forgive him or not.
You sound like an intelligent woman. Stop wasting your time, and find someone who will love you, not themselves.
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A
female
reader, Miss Taterbutt  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Honey, do not believe that crap. A man will say and do anything to keep his behind off the line.
I am sure by now you would know what he looks like in the nude. He knows he had gotten caught red-handed, and is now trying to make you believe the lies he is spewing to keep himself out of trouble with you.
If he would lie about something like that, whether it have been now or in the beginning of the relationship, you need to leave his sorry ass. Cheating is cheating, regardless of the duration of the relationship.
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