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During sex, when a guy goes too deep it really hurts. Is this normal?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 January 2007) 36 Answers - (Newest, 10 September 2012)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

Does anyone know what if this is normal or not? When i have sex its fine but if they push too hard or especially too deep inside me it really really hurts! i have recently had a full STI/STD screening and everything come back negative....so i dont know...im 18 and only 5.1 ft! and tiny for my age...could it just be a matter or size?

Thanks

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A female reader, SamShaw United Kingdom +, writes (10 September 2012):

I know what you mean by the pain, but it isn't just pain, i know this might sound a bit daft but its also an over whelming 'full' feeling.. i told my bf it was hurting so he did go a bit more gentler, so that was good XD But afterwards he said 'how did it hurt, im not that big' which im not going to lie, its not huge..

But know i know why it hurt, i dont know exactly how to bring it up, as i think it might sound a bit strange, any suggestions how i can bring it up.. :/

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012):

Oh thank god. It hurts me whenever my boyfriend goes really deep doggy style or when I'm on my stomach. He tells me "I know people way older than us that can take it." I'm glad its just the cervix. Was scaring me there. But I can take it off the bed which I think he goes pretty deep but I don't get why I can take it like that and not doggy style. He cant ejaculate when we do missionary which is really sad. :( Guess he needs to go deep for that but like I said it hurts!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2012):

I sometimes wonder if pain is pleasure to some women. Because some men believe that if they do not cause pain then they are not performing.I have sex for pleasure, not to punish.I prefer to make love not create agony. I believe that a woman can be harmed when penetrated too deeply.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2011):

~whenever my boyfriend does it i just feel please.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (1 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony aunt5'2" here and pettie. and Yes if they "hit bottom" it HURTS

because the tip of the penis hits the cervix which moves the uterus which then shifts the fallopian tubes and jiggles the ovaries.

a man hitting bottom is likened by me to my kneeing him in the balls.

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A female reader, PepperInlove United States +, writes (1 November 2011):

I am not sure if age is a factor in this situation. I am 48 5' tiny and have 3 children. My new boyfriend of 4 months is somewhat larger then my past men. I am more sexually active with this man. Have never experienced this kind of pain from sex. It's taking time to heal from this pain. Been 2 days. I think some of us girls can't handle those deep penetration positions regardless age, just be aware of if you start having pain during sex. Guys need to understand!

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A female reader, Hugs and Kisses  Jamaica +, writes (31 January 2011):

Yea it happened to me I was wondering what was wrong awww thanks guys for helping me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010):

Oh my god, this happened to me this morning and I actually thought it was my G-spot hurting. I genuinely thought there was something serious wrong, so I googled it and I'm actually relieved to know it was just my cervix and that I'm not alone on this either! I've only just started having sex and this morning was the first time my boyfriend and I did doggy and missionary with my legs over my head, and they just hurt like hell, wondered what was wrong! I wish it wasn't like this though, it really is bloody painful

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A female reader, TheMinion Antarctica +, writes (21 October 2010):

Here.....

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/if_im_short_is_my_vagina_short_too

this is really something obvious people should know.

If you're not properly aroused he may hit your cervix which will hurt.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010):

I also have pain when doing it doggy style, and sometimes missionary when my legs are above my head. I feel bad that my boyfriend of 2 years and I don't get to do his favorite positions very often because they cause me a lot of pain! When reading about how your cervix can go up after being turned on I'm definitely going to bring that up to my boyfriend. Hopefully next time will go better!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010):

that has just recently happened to me.... although i dont understand i have been having sex with the same person for over a year and he has gone in deep and hard before and it has never hurt like this and all of a sudden it just really hurts i cant understand it

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A female reader, magnoliaflower United States +, writes (18 September 2010):

im reading this and im so glad im not the only one. my boyfriend is 6'6 and he member is 11inches. im only 5'4 so you can imagine the pain. i should have guesses he was hitting my cervix but i didnt even know he could get that far. but my question is how come they cant feel themselves hitting it if we can?

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A female reader, sarahrose20 Canada +, writes (4 September 2010):

hey girlz i know wat ya's mean. Ive been with the same guy for 3 1/2 years, he never used to be this big but he grew cuz hes 20 now, So am I. I used to love doggy style n legs over my head... but now it hurts almost everytime. I actually just had it happen to me a few hours ago. It hurt soo bad n it made me have to pee but then i couldnt n it really hurt. But i find from my experience that thats all normal. It's happened to me many times and i always go back to normal. Ive even had my period brought on by this b4 so no worrys everyones different... but if the pain lasts more than a day or so then i would get checked out.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010):

it's happened to me a couple of times before! but a few days ago me and my boyfriend had sex and he did it and it never hurt so bad! i was so scared i thought there was something wrong with me!! i just read all these answers and i feel a lot better now to know that its normal!

before me and boyfriend have sex i tell him to go slow at first, try taking it in slowly and gradually going faster, i find the cervix will adjust and then it feels great :) try that and see how it goes!!

xoSS~

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010):

Ive read everyones answer and its really helped a lot Thanks. Me an my bf had vaginal intercourse and it was hurting me too. Its never happened anytime before and i thought something was wrong. Its painful when we are doing Doggy cuz he goes all the way and now i know its him hitting my cervix, which i cudve guessed. I wish it wasnt so painful because i want to enjoy it. He enjoyes it and i do too just not when the pain comes around. Even when we do missionary sometimes it hurts. Idk if itll stop, maybe, maybe not. I want him to enjoy it but myself also so not goin so deep wud probably make it better :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):

I'm glad I'm not alone with this problem. My man is like 9in. I'm tired of him making comments that I can't take it. So I try and take the pain to satisfy him and not look like an inexperienced child. My question is do men feel theirselves bangin against our cervix? And if so why would they want to keep banging against it knowing it's hurting a woman?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010):

I had the same problem- and the guy thought I was being a baby- like I couldnt take it- im so glad it wasnt just me- he goes relly deep and I didnt even know that they cud hit the cervix-i havent had sex that much so i thought i was like dying lol Im glad to know im ok

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010):

Yeah, it is the penis hitting the cervix. Ive had the same pain. Ive just started a new relationship, He is 6ft3 and has a penis just under 8 inches and its very thick, I am only 4ft11 as you can imagine it was quite painful. I find it easier being in "cowgirl" or "Jellyfish" position, When your in control you can determine how far your comfortable with. Plus nothing turns a man on more than a woman in conrtol ;)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010):

OMG!!! My boyfriend totally didn't believe me. I was like "I think you broke something" lol. & he just kept calling me a baby. but now i know i'm the only one. thanks a lot, this helped sooooo much. now i can prove that i wasn't just quitting. =D

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010):

OMG! thank god I am not the only one with this problem, sometimes when me and my boyfriend have sex it hurts me now I know why.

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A female reader, kittykitty United States +, writes (13 June 2010):

I've had this problems many times.. My boyfriend is 9 inches (no exaggeration) and i'm only 5'2 in height... so you can imagine how little everything is on the inside lol.. so today, we had sex and it hurt so bad once we did doggy.. i wasn't really in the mood so my uterus wasn't pushed out of the way... (because when you're aroused it pushes away to make room) and boy, it really hurts. it's extremely normal though no matter the size of your guy. it will still hurt. highly normal and NOTHING is wrong with you. ALSO, him delaying your period because of it, is also really normal. i don't know why.. but normally for me, when ever it's painful sex... my periods alwaysss late.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010):

I have the same problem! Only sometimes. When i first had sex, it didnt hurt and i didnt bleed so much. My boyfriends penis is about 4 inches and i thought when i got the pain (of him hitting my cervix) that it was suppose to break and thats what caused the pain and bleeding for most girls and that his penis was just to short. But now i know it is my cervix. (the bleeding and pain usually comes from the breaking of the hymen which can break easily in any other way ex. tampons, fingering, or even just athleticism). It does only hurt in doggy position and i like it but i gets a little too much and all i can do is move.

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A female reader, RaeMay United States +, writes (29 April 2009):

RaeMay agony aunti have the same thing. i dont know either. i looked it up though and it said it was because the cervix is too low. i read the answers to your question from others and they say that there are other way to make it not as painful. but damn it really sucks.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

When the woman is aroused, the uterus moves out of the way some, allowing the penis to get passed it. It moves to the woman’s front. The uterus is only about 4 to 5 inches into the vaginal canal. However, there are conditions that won't allow the penis to pass. At these times, the penis will hit the cervix and cause a sharp pain. This can happen to almost all women. Some women have what is called a tipped uterus, which is a condition that does not allow it to move out of the way enough. It is located too far rearward. Even if it can move out of the way the normal amount, a guy who has a thick penis may still hit the cervix because he is too big to get past the cervix.

Entry angle also makes a big difference. If the penis is entering toward the back (bottom if the woman is on her back) then it is more able to get past the cervix. If it is entering toward the front then it is more likely to hit the cervix. Missionary allows the penis to enter toward the woman’s back, which will be much less likely to cause a problem. Doggy will result in the penis going in toward the front, making it more likely that it will hit the cervix and cause pain. It is even worse if the guy is trying to be high and enter downward (toward the woman’s front in doggy). Doggy can still work if the guy stays down low and makes sure that his penis is entering upward toward the woman’s back.

My wife has a tipped uterus and we have still found ways to make most all positions work. When we first started dating 29 years ago, I knew nothing about all of this and would hurt her a lot of times. She wouldn’t allow me to use doggy until we discovered what the problem was.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

I am having the same problem and even when he goes slow and is gentle it still hurts sometimes. When we are done the bottom of my stomach hurts really bad. He says that when we have sex it feels like he is hitting something,is that my cervix?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008):

Hey girlies, I to have experienced this pain during sex with my boyfriend, i have been worried about it for a while but now i know im not the only person i would probably put it down to size. xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008):

idont get it.. should i see a doctor if it hurts soo soo bad.. like ive only had sex a very few times.. will it eventually shrink the cervix n not hurt as much

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007):

i have the same thing when my boyfriend is about to cum he pushes his penis in very hard and it hurts! i thought something was wrong with me..but it happens to alot of ppl! some girls just arent deep enough for that!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007):

I have exactly the same problem even though I've had three children its all been painful when they go in too deep. Someone told me it could be due to having a low cervix. Dont know if that is the case though.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007):

I have the same problem. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. Unfortunately, I never feel like my guy is fully satisfied. He's so kind and patient about it, but I feel bad ...

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (23 January 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntSorry pink fraggle, but the penis never enters the uterus, there is a cervix blocking the way.

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A female reader, pink fraggle United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2007):

pink fraggle agony auntyeah size is the answer but of your uterus. Its only something daft like 4 inches long! So no its not just you. Just try different positions. no legs above your head! :-) I have the same problem although i like the pain!? But there are times that i dont want it hurting and the only thing to do is move!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007):

Yes it is quite normal..and I am almost the same height (5'0') And I have experience the same pain! Just tell your guy to be more gentle with you!! (Try you being on top, then you can control the depth)

Hugs

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (23 January 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntOh my, yes that CAN hurt!!

You're very normal. I also get pain if my boyfriend goes in too deep. When it hits that certain spot, it gets a sudden OW!!

Is your boyfriend relatively big? Doggy style is probably the worst position for really large guys. It'll go in the deepest that way. For sexual positions, I would probably suggest YOU getting on top. That way you can control how deep he goes. And if you go reeeeaaallllyyyy slow, it'll probably easier to have him go deeper. That way your body can adjust slowly.

xxIndia

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A female reader, vina_101 United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2007):

vina_101 agony auntYes you are normal and this is normal. If a guy goes too deep or too far it will hurt. It's not really your fault he just needs to be a bit more gentle and know when he's hurting you. And also if he has a particularly 'long john' it is almost inevitable that you will feel pain. Trust me I know, it has happened to me and it was not nice. So don't worry just tell your guy not to venture too far out into your 'geographical region.' lol.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2007):

cd206 agony auntIt's probably not a matter of your size but maybe his. It sounds to me like he's hitting your cervix which can be very painful, ask him to be a bit gentler when he's going fully in and you should be fine. If you notice any other sex side effects like unexplained bleeding etc tho take yourself along for another screening but I'm pretty sure from what you've said that it's the first thing to try to relax!

CD

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