A
female
age
30-35,
*licia89
writes:Hi Everyone, Im having trouble making up my mind. Im 22 and married. I have a 2 year old son. Ive been thinking of going to college but lately ive been thinking of having another kid. Why? well because i want my kids to be around the same age. Im the only child so i know how it feels to grow up not having a brother or sister. But i cant make up my mind either to go to college or have another kid. Any advice is helpful. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 October 2011):
 I hope you do and that you acomplish your goals!~
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female
reader, alicia89 +, writes (25 October 2011):
alicia89 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank Yaul So Much! I really appreciate the advice! I think i'll go to college!
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female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (25 October 2011):
 I just want to add, that going to college whilst looking after two young children, would probably be almost impossible. Your grades would suffer and your mind would not be on the job.
It is possible, but it wouldnt be easy. Your primary responsibility would be to the children not your study, and can you honestly say you would be able to put in the required time and effort?
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (25 October 2011):
Olderthandirt - the OP is still barely an adult, and has many child bearing years ahead of her!
OP, you are still very young, and have plenty of time to have more children in the future. However, as you get older and get more responsibility going to college becomes more difficult, be it due to finances, or time or even brain power - you get out of the habit of 'learning' and then when you come back to it, things can be very difficult.
By going to college now, you are really not missing out on many years work. Going to college will not only enhance you as a person, but also allow you to get qualifications that will lead to a better quality of life and better job prospects. These in turn will lead to more money that you can spend on raising future children.
If you choose the child now, how do you know you will be in a position to actually ever go to college? If you are constantly having to work to earn enough to keep your family going, when would you get the time? Can you see you are limiting your options by having more children now.
I am an only child, and I grew up happy and able to socialise. I never was lonely. My mum has a brother, and they hate each other, growing up she suffered terribly at his hands. Having siblings doesnt automatically mean you will like each other and get on.
You are only 22 years old, so really still just finding your feet as an adult. DO NOT waste this opportunity to make your life better in the future. Go to college, get qualifications and then get a better paid job.
I work at a university, and we see so many more mature people who come to study later, after their kids have left home or they have retired, and a large number regret that they didnt do this earlier. Their job choices and careers could have been very different had they not rushed into having families so young. A lot were in low paid or mundane jobs that they hated, but did because they had no other options. Many of the women feel slightly cheated that they did not get to live and only in their 50's are they able to activly pursue the things THEY want to do.
Good luck!
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 October 2011):
 Well, It's a toss up 'cause college will still be there too but kids are best when had by younger mothers..so it's real hard to tell.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 October 2011):
I agree, go with college you are only 22, so there is still PLENTY of time for more children.
Get the college out of the way, it really is much harder to get done with 2 kids. There will always be excuses not to go back, yet.
Do this for you, your family and any future kids.
And I agree being an only child doesn't = lonely child.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 October 2011):
 How about both? College is a good thing... but you can go part time.... Having sibs that are close in age is a GREAT thing... I also vote for having them young because
a. you have more energy
b. you have more health. I can't imagine chasing a toddler in my late 30s and give those women tons of credit...
c. when they are grown and "on their own" you are still young enough to really enjoy it...
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 October 2011):
 College, me thinks. If you have another child later on your child won't be an only child anyway, even if they aren't the same age. Being the same age does not mean they will get along better or have a better relationship. Me and my brother are 3 years difference and get along great, but I have several cousins with the exact same, or less, age difference and they can't stand each other. Then again I have cousins with a larger age gap who get along great!
All-in-all, to my knowledge, the only great reason to have several kids in the same age group is that they can share clothes and it'll be less expensive since you don't have to buy new toys and clothes etc. Plus them being the same age group means they will all move out of home around the same age too, which can be a blessing in it's own way, or a sad thing too.
Besides, you could go for a while without getting pregnant even if you try... it'd be great if you got pregnant right away when you want to, but it can take years to get pregnant. Why waste those years, why not go to college and create a great future for your children?
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (25 October 2011):
Hey OP
I would recommened college.
Me and my siblings are not that close in age, there is a maximum of 10 yrs between the oldest and youngest, with one in the middle. We're all adults now with partners, jobs, degrees etc, and we're all very close, and always have been. I have never really noticed the age gap between us and it certainly hasn't been a hindrance to us getting on with each other.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 October 2011):
 College college college !
It's not so vital that your kids are close in age, I think most parents tend to idealize quite a bit the sibling bond. As in many things in life, luck plays a part in it, it's not a given that two siblings will closely bond or play well together or keep each other a lot of company just because they are 3 years apart. A lot will depend from their personality .
Also, being a lonely child does not have to be a lonely ,depressing experience. Just make sure that your child is adequately socialized and has plenty of occasions to spend time with his peers also after school. My son did, and not only never regretted his condition of only child, but , contrariously to popular believe, did not come up a spoiled brat or a socially awkward misfit.
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