A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am married and have been unfaithful to my wife through out our whole marriage, and not with the same girl. I always used protection because I did not want to be responsible for an STD. I have changed and now I am a new man thanks to my religion I am trying to redeem my heart and save my soul. My wife was diagnose with cervical cancer a few weeks ago and my question is am I the cause of her cancer. I thought I was always being responsible but now this guilt is eating me alive.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Actually, HPV IS a sexually transmitted infection. It does increase the risk of cervical cancer in both men and women. Your behavior may well have been the contributory cause of your wife's cancer, it's not possible to let you off the hook for that.
There are risk factors that increase certain population's chances of being diagnosed with cancer, so saying that everyone's chances of contracting cancer is not accurate.
I don't normally comment on other aunt's answers, but I cannot let obviously wrong answers stand without the medical facts. http://www.webmd.com/cancer/cervical-cancer/cervical-cancer-cause
Alas, people engage in risky behavior not recognizing that there may be severe consequences. I hope you are able to come to some kind of peace for what you have reported. Support your wife at this time and remember this is not only about you now; please don't contribute any more drama to her distress.
You may wish to seek counseling to deal with your feelings if you are having difficulty coping.
I hope your wife's treatment is successful and that everything works out for you both. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Actually, HPV is the main cause of cervical cancer. Condoms do not provide complete protection against HPV because the virus can be transmitted through sexual, skin-to-skin contact with an infected person, even if there is no penetration. A condom protects only the penis, but other areas of the genitalia are left exposed and may come in contact with the vagina during intercourse.
To the OP: From what I've been told, cervical cancer has a high survival rate, so things should be in your wife's favor. Use your guilt to motivate you to be as supportive as possible and focus your energy on her recovery. You may want to look into joining a support group to help you cope with your feelings.
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A
female
reader, Confuzzled879  +, writes (14 April 2010):
Cancer is not something you can catch lovely. It is mutation of the cells. Everyone has an even chance of being diagnosed with some form of cancer, as lovely that thought is. HPV is not an STD, it is human papilloma virus however contact with contaminated objects should be avoided. The magic invention... A CONDOM, can limit the spread of HPV as it common within... you guessed it - Humans
Good Luck to your Wife..
And by the way if this is something you are guilty about, maybe you shouldn't be sleeping around.. Or you could have left your wife and saved her from ANY pain or suffering.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): She has not blamed me or openly said it to me, I blame myself. Thank you all for your prayers and advise I will continue to care for my wife and pray for her quick recovery.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (13 April 2010):
I hope all of the cheating husbands and wives who come to DC read this post so they can understand the health risks they are exposing themselves and their partners to. People who are being cheated on need to read this, too, because they could find themselves in the same place as this man's wife.
Out of curiosity, does your wife think you may have given her HPV? How is she coping with all of this?
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A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (13 April 2010):
 you could have done yes, as the others have already said. cheating is never acceptable regardless of how careful you are, we are all hoping and praying for your wifes full recovery, and you need to support her too. hopefully you actually have learnt something from this.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 I am sorry for what you are going through at this moment.
Whatever happened , has happened. There is nothing more that you can do about the past.
Please don't judge yourself harshly. Do forgive yourself and accept the reality of the situation at hand.
Pray more for your wife's recovery . Your wife is always in our thoughts and prayers.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 I am so sorry, both for your wife's condition and the questioning you are putting yourself through.
Unless you were her only partner, you can't know for certain where she picked HPV up from, or if you unknowingly already had it prior to meeting her and your infidelity did not contribute at all.
The main thing now is to focus on her treatment and recovery and try to be strong for her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): You are paying a heavy price through guilt alone - there is no benefit to it at this stage. Deal with the facts you have in front of you. The other posts are correct and the information on the links are valid. Support your wife with all your heart.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): Yes, it is a possibility. However, there are a number of other factors that could have increased her chances of this as well, so keep that in mind.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): Pinktopaz is correct:
http://www.cdc.gov/hpv/Prevention.html
http://www.cdc.gov/hpv/cancer.html
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 As pinktopaz says, the possibility is there. Condoms are useless against HPV. But you can't know for sure.
I don't have to know, but, if your wife had sex with other people before she had sex with you, then any of those men might perfectly well have given her the HPV.
I don't think you should spend your energies in guilt and remorse. It might have some value, but it doesn't help your wife, which is what matters. She has a lot to deal with. Help her with that.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 April 2010):
If you passed along HPV, then yes it's a possibility.
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