| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm 19 years old. I was always ignored in high school. One guy actually called me ugly once (and added that I should consider plastic surgery). No one ever called me beautiful and no guys ever crushed on me.My friends told me I was pretty, but always felt sorry for me because I didn't get any attention from the guys (like they always did). My parents, well, they're my parents so they obviously had to try and make me feel good. I was never teased about being ugly or anything, I was just ignored, and was rejected by every guy I crushed on. I've never liked my face. Nor my body. I've lost a lot of weight and now I look better. I'm not ugly, actually, sometimes I manage to like my looks... but there's just something about me that I find ugly, that I haven't got the pretty girly delicate features other girls have... I don't know, I've always been ignored!Until my BF wanted to meet me. I caught his eye at this gig/party (so he probably had a few drinks on him already, and it was dark... then he was just predisposed to thinking I was attractive when he saw me). We've been together for a year and a half. He always says I'm beautiful. He even says I'm the most beautiful girl he's had (maybe because I'm the only one he's truly loved).I can't believe him, anyway. When we were just friends he pointed out how he liked checking out girls. Plus, well we've discussed my insecurities a lot... and he's honest, but a bit blunt. He's said that there are hotter girls than me but they're dull and boring, and so he chose me because I have more important things than looks that make him love me and want to spend his life with me. He's also said that there are hot girls everywhere, so I just have to deal with that. He says he no longer checks girls out, but I don't buy that. Also, he has dated gorgeous girls. Girls that were constantly being checked out while they were with him; he even dated the hottest girl of his class in high school (according to his classmates, she was the hottest). And I have always been ignored, how can I deal with that? How can I overcome that and stop comparing myself?Plus, everytime I'm in public, I start "checking out" girls... and then I compare myself, and I always feel depressed because I look so awful compared to them. How can I stop? I can't seem to... I also worry a lot because (sorry, TMI) my BF is very horny so I'm worried that if he gets turned on by the sight of my body, then how must it be when all these hotter girls are around (especially since some of his friends are, according to me, way more attractive).I understand this isn't my BF's fault, that this is MY issue. But when I go to him for support, he gets annoyed, saying he's bored with the subject, that it's nonsense, that why can't I just understand that he loves me and wants me, etc...What can I do? I feel so ugly... all I want to be is to be pretty and feel pretty, and be admired... oh well, guess there's nothing to do, right? =(I know that looks aren't everything, but can you blame me for being insecure? I've always been ignored, always have had low self esteem, and I worry that my BF checks other girls out and wishes I looked like them... I know I wish I looked like them, so why wouldn't he?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): i appologise for the essay but hey i was EXACTLY like you whilst i was at school! im 20 and have a bf. i too wasnt ever bullied or nothing but i was ignored while my friends got all the attention, nasty things were said 2 me and all the rest. it really used to get me down and still does sometimes but in the long run i think its moulded me into who i am today & im glad.
it drove me to the point were i just didnt care what people thought of me and instead i decided to just have fun during my teenage years and then, easy as this, i grew in confidence or i was giving of happy vibes or something, lol, coz thats when i started getting ne attention whatsoever. and its only recently that i have really found confidence in myself but obviously everyone has insecure days.
who cares if someone called u ugly. most people have had nasty things said to them, it is a very lucky and rare thing if no one has ever made a nasty comment about the way someone looks and if that guy is the ONLY person who has said something to u then that says something actually.(1 person??)
about ur boyfriend.. men are always gonna check out other girls even if they have a gf. its a horrible thought but its true.. and girls do it too. we could be going out with brad pitt and i bet we'd still think other blokes were goodlooking. doesnt mean nething tho. looks fade quickly.. once ur old all u've got left is personality!
dont know if this helped at all but im just saying how i dealt with it coz i know how ur feeling.
A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (26 March 2008):
 You must stop beating yourself up like that. Listen to me, every one of us are unique in our own way.
That guy who said you were ugly and said you needed plastic surgery is a low life, who has nothing better to do than taunt girls, he was showing off, and you shouldn't take things like that to heart.
You have a boyfriend who has assured you that you are beautiful. Look in the mirror and keep telling yourself that.
I'm not surprised he gets annoyed with you. Get rid of that insecure feeling that you have, and learn to love yourself.
Quote: ''He's said that there are hotter girls than me but they're dull and boring, and so he chose me because I have more important things than looks that make him love me and want to spend his life with me''.
That to me suggests you are a beautiful person.
Please follow this link and take it in, it's here on Dear Cupid, i've shown it to a few people I know, and agree with me when I tell them - it's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth....and i'm convinced it will make you feel a whole lot better.......so help me God.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/genetically-modified-woman-or-organic-female-which-do.html
Take care and be happy.
BigSis xXx
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