A
female
 ,
*rizzylizzy
writes:I was going out with my partner for a year and a half. He always travelled with work and we always managed to make things work. But after xmas he said he wasn't sure if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. When I challeneged him and said ok we will finish he back tracked and said he would do his best to try sort it out and make it work.. Lets just say he made no effort to contact me when he was away so after valentines day I snapped and sent him a text to say it was over (not a nice thing to do but it was the only way I could contact him). A week later he sent me a text to say I was right.. I just ignored it. Then a few hours later he asked me why i was ignoring him. I just told him I didn't know what to say to him and to leave me alone. That was 2 weeks ago and last night he phoned?? He was chit chatting on the phone and in the end I just asked him what did he want, He said it was probably best that we broke up but he was finding it hard and he missed the closeness. I just cut him off and said I didn't want to talk to him and said good bye.. He has hurt me so much over the last few months I just didnt want to deal with his self pity.. Anyone any idea what is going on in his head..
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 He knows he wants to break up with you that there is not a chance you guys can make it work permanently. And he was FINE with this being HIS idea because he knew you would continue to try to make it work with him.
NOW that YOU want to break up he needs to string you along in case he doesn't find anyone else....
Breakups are hard for both people.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 I don't think you need a mindreader, he told you what he feels and why he calls you in a reather self explanatory way , he hasn't been particularly mysterious : he misses the closeness.
The fact that you are not " the one " for him, does not mean he may not have appreciated your affection, your companionship, your devotion etc. He was used to all this nice stuff and now that he does not get them anymore, there are moments when he misses them. It's also a matter of habit, in one and a half year of dating a person, you set up certain routines, come to count on certain things and doing without may be unsettling even if it's not a tragedy.
If you are used to , say, call Jane or John for a long phone chat every Tuesday night,... Tuesday comes and no chat - it feels weird , even if it's your choice.
The fact that occasionally he may feel lonely and miss what you shared ,so, is very normal , but it does not mean that he's changed his mind and now offers you a committment. He did not say anything about that, and unless he expressely does, you'll have to assume that nothing has changed and he still does not want what you want. Therefore, I think that in cutting him off you made the right decision .
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Hello,
Yes, I believe he misses you in one sense. However, he has no plans at all long term with you. So, when he gets lonely or feels like a chat he gets in touch. But the long term thing is worrying for you as he has already stated he doesn't want this. For you, if you want long term with him, then I doubt it will happen. (he has said this.) Therefore, you are wise to cut all ties with him.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (6 March 2012):
 He has made it very clear what is going on in his head - he knows breaking up is for the best but misses the closeness, hence why he is still contacting you.
There is no other reason - he knows finishing was the right thing to do but he is lonely and wants a bit of attention. Simple as that.
You are right to cut him out completely, he will keep pestering you for attention until he meets a new woman to occupy him. Delete his number, get him blocked from calling you etc so you can move on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 March 2012):
 You are in luck... as I can devine EXATLY what this man is thinking.....
He's thinking: "Well, I've sure got this girl in a whirl, and not thinking straight..... AND, I've kept her interest enough so that she STILL thinks I care for her when, in fact, I'm quite content just to have s*x every time I return to her."
You're welcome.
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