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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hi all. I am a bit upset. Not sure if I should be or not. Hope you can give me your opinions.My boyfriend is in the U.S helping his dad get back on his feet following a surgery.He messaged me on Facebook the day after he arrived and he told me about his day and what was going on.I responded and told him I missed him.So, I check his status since the message. He was active 8 hours ago according to Facebook. Not only did he NOT read my message but he did NOT respond.Of course I wonder what is he doing on Facebook so late at night? Chatting with other women? Not bothering to even look at my message or respond?If a guy really cares about you... he knows he sent you a message... why would he not look for it... realizing you could be responding?I mean, why even bother to contact me and send me a message and then not even answer??Because he WAS on Facebook!Am I over reacting?I am very upset by this.Hope you can help...
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (12 November 2013):
 maybe he was logged on to fb in his phone and didn't even know it. or maybe the site was still up on his computer somewhow. anyway, it could have just been a fluke.
is there any particular reason your mind would jump to him talking to other women? has he cheated before or given you reason to feel this way? take that into real consideration.
if i were you, i would definitely try to calm down about it if you can. i'm certain he will get back to you when he can. he's got other priorities at the moment. he's with his father who clearly needs him right now. be supportive and patient. he'll appreciate that.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 November 2013):
 I agree with SVC - I don't have FB anymore, but my husband is perma logged into FB - doesn't mean he is ACTUALLY ON FB. Just that he is logged in. If he is busy he might... check it 2-4 times a week.
YOU Bf is BUSY with a dad who is in the hospital/just getting out of the hospital. It might.. be a higher priority to him to NOT check constantly on FB in case he misses a message, to take care of his Dad.
IF you WANT to talk then CALL him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 November 2013):
 I never log off of facebook... it's always connected via my phone or my laptop... I show on 24/7
and yes caring for a person after surgery is a full time job and it's very stressful when a person you love is sick or recovering and needs you... especially a parent. Having to take the parental role and care for your parent as a child is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
you are over reacting.
do you think he made up his father having surgery and needing him just so he could run off and cheat on you?
messaging is not a way to have a relationship.
call him.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 November 2013):
 I don't know if you have ever had to be a caretaker to someone post-surgery or chemo but it is freaking EXHAUSTING and EMOTIONALLY DRAINING. I would cut this guy a break for now, do not react, do not flip out, it's likely he logged in briefly and then logged out because he just didn't have the energy to deal with the ordinary everyday things at that moment.
Relax. If you are in a solid relationship, things will be fine. If you are in a rocky, insecure relationship, then you can deal with it when he gets back home. Now is not the time to throw a fit or get angry.
Call him during daylight hours and leave a nice supportive loving message for him if he doesn't answer and stop monitoring his facebook activity for now. Be a supporter for him, caretaking is really hard work, trust me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2013): To be fair his dad is recovering from surgery, so it's not that he's not missing you but he's got bigger things to be worrying and thinking about. Just be there for him when he needs you, overreacting to him not replying to one message will only make you come across as clingy or quite self-centred. Why would he chat to other women? Unless this is something he does often then you need to give him space and time with his family.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 November 2013):
 If there were no trust issues before in the relationship, then this is not something I would lose sleep over. Is it possible that he was chatting with a family member to update on his dad's condition? And then it was too late so he just went to bed but did not shut down the computer, leaving his facebook open. A standard response would be to say, "I miss you too." I would just wait until he contacts you again, then you could ask him why he didn't respond to that message.
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