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Boyfriend cheated with multiple girls

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 December 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 19 December 2011)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Found out my boyfriend cheated on me with 5 girls from my area Including MY BEST FRIEND. His defence was " technically we're not in a relationship its more of a friends with benifets thing " He introduced me to his family as his girlfriend, birthday card with girlfriend and called me his girlfriend. I feel like hell I dont want to leave the house I,ve been betrayed and worst of all my friends knew about him and my best friend. What can I do????

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (19 December 2011):

Abella agony auntDistance yourself from this group of "friends" for you are not like them. Your former "best friend" has revealed that she is a snake and your former boyfriend is a really dirty rat.

Can you go and stay with a distanrt family member over the Christmas break and work out how you can develop a new set of friends, but taking up other hobbies?

Turn your back on these base people. If they all gravitate to place A then you should choose to go to place Z instead.

Maybe look at what other things you could attend where you will not run into these idiots? Maybe join a different gym? Or learn a new skill by enrolling in a short term course?

Or volunteer and help a charity in your community where you are very likely to meet a nicer group of people.

You have lost nothing by turning your back on these former friends. They are all losers. They have all done you a favor by revealing what a nasty shallow bunch of losers they all are.

Let this be a wakeup call to joins the Winners instead.

You really DO deserve better than the rubbish they subjected you to.

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A female reader, Freyja United Kingdom +, writes (17 December 2011):

Find a new boyfriend, and a new "best friend". You don't need people like that in your life.

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A female reader, bunnyblueeyes United Kingdom +, writes (17 December 2011):

bunnyblueeyes agony auntGo out, find yourself a better boyfriend and then break it off with this idiot!

Tell him the 'friends with benifits' thing is over because you've found a real man now.

And I would have a few choice words to say to you're 'Best friend' too!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntif this is how he feels, there is nothing you can do.

I would also advise getting a new best friend.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaSy8yy-mr8&ob=av2e

Some Men are just not Worth Your Time, your Efforts, your Friendship, Your Love. Its not this selfish, only cares about getting off, serial cheater that is such a despicable Low Life that can outright lie to you and say, you were FWB.

Narcissistic Ahole!

http://mfgmarriage.com/extra-marital-affairs-serial-cheater/

Cry, rage, hurt, wound, anger. Don't do it for more than 3 days.

Realize you cannot change a dishonest, selfish man. He has to decide that for himself.

What you can change is whom you chose to date.

CUT THIS Idiot out of your life indefinitely and really, make some new friends. In the long run, adopting such an attitude about your self respect, self worth, and self love by having CLEAR expectations and boundaries- you cut out the selfish, clueless people that are not worth your friendship and love. They will miss out on such a noble woman such as yourself.

They will see you as a very strong, loving, kick butt woman and wonder how you do it. You'll know.

You'll be happier and healthier for it.

Get Strong, Get Smart, Get Wise, Get Healthier.

*hugs & cocoa*

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (16 December 2011):

YouWish agony auntYuck. This guy is a real piece of work. He can't have it both ways. If he's calling you "girlfriend", then it isn't a FWB, and he cheated on you.

You have every right to feel betrayed, because the relationship was built on false pretenses. You were misled into feeling like it was a relationship, while he was treated it like a FWB. Rules are established from the beginning, not changed whenever someone else feels like it.

But you have a much bigger issue than your boyfriend. Your best friend committed a much worse betrayal of you than this nasty guy did. Your other friends knew about this, and I'm sure you're not happy that you weren't told, but I know that oftentimes the "messenger" is shot for informing about news like this.

This is the time for a good solid "soul cleanse". This means that you no longer try to get closure or rake this nasty guy through the coals or try to find out and "understand" things when it comes to him. This also means that you forcibly eject your best friend from your life, because no one can be a friend and allow this to happen. A true best friend would love you too much to allow this guy to come anywhere near her.

This guy used you. Your best friend betrayed you. This could possibly show that you may gravitate towards the wrong sort of people to put trust in.

The best thing to do now is to drop both of them. I know you're devastated, but to continue to try to "get him back" or try to associate with your best friend is harmful and toxic to you. You must take care of yourself and look after yourself now. Above all, you must make a stand and demand better treatment for yourself, so allowing this guy who has cheated on you repeatedly to have any more access to your life and body is really a bad idea.

Trust me, this guy is going to try to get back into your pants with flowery words and apologies. Don't fall for it. He blew it. You're worth more than to be a part of his harem, and you're worth more than to have a best friend willing to open her legs and betray your trust.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011):

It's a crap excuse on his part.

If he was introducing you as his girlfriend, and referring to you as such, that's what you were to him. He may say otherwise now to try and excuse his behavior, but what he did is cheating.

Kick his sorry a** to the curb and thank your lucky stars you discovered the true him before investing any more time in the relationship. Good luck :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011):

I agree with Honeypie. I'd just like to add, cut those so-called friends out of your life without a second thought. You could do without having such two-faced people around. I'm sorry you're hurting right now x

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A male reader, LovelessAct1 United States +, writes (16 December 2011):

The best option is a simple one:

1. Get him out of your life. He doesn't give a shit about you if he's going to cheat on you with several other women. Don't talk to him, don't listen to what he has to say (he has nothing relevant to say anyways) and start moving on.

2. Find better friends. Friends who would do this to you, are like your boyfriend, not worth your time. They don't deserve you.

I know it seems like simple advice, but its honestly the best. You need to essentially "detox" yourself from these people in your life. That's the first step. Good luck.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 December 2011):

Honeypie agony auntYou can accept that it is a FWB or you can dump him.

You can not change him or his perception of the relationship. Since he obvioulsy don't really care about how you feel about it.

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