A
male
age
36-40,
*uke445
writes:I have been dating my girl for a year and a half and love her so much we are planning to get married net year.But one thing i need to know is if she is cheating on me , she has a male friend which she goes out to dinner with once a fortnight and is starting to make plans to go out at daytime as well I trusted her with all my heart until i found out she used to sleep with this guy, no dating just sex. She tells me it was the worst thing she ever did and doesn't have any feeling towards him . She is starting to wear sexy clothes when she goes out with him now im starting to worry . We had a fight because i asked her not to go to beach and wear bikini around him am i wrong for that ??? and she is always late when she comes back have i cause to worry.I have asked her if i can aome along but she reckons it would be weird so im worried there too . am i jealous or do i have something to actually be woried about????
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2012): Her past with this guy would not be your business - if this guy was still in her past. But he's not. This guy is very much in her present. They are even going out together without you. All this makes their sexual history VERY MUCH your business. You had the right to expect to be informed about it a long time ago. She did you wrong by not telling you. When she keeps it a secret that she has had sex with her old friend before, then that means she is keeping it a secret that she is still seeing her ex-partner. That is cheating by any definition.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2012): "I have asked her if i can aome along but she reckons it would be weird so im worried there too"Why would it be weird? I agree with the above poster, this guy used her for sex and nothing else and they are still hanging out, I'd be worried, especially since this is YOUR GIRL, planning to get married and she's still going out with the guy she used to have sex with and she reckons it would be "weird" that the man she proclaims to love so much shouldn't "hang out" with them.If she loved you she wouldn't be seeing him in that capacity, especially if it's making you insecure. Plain and simple they are not friends, if the cheating is not already occurring, it will happen, so set some boundaries, either you all go out and "hang out" or she stops seeing him, after all this is the woman you are planning to spend the rest of your live with. Good luck
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 March 2012):
 I'd say , half and half.
Meaning, you may be tendencially too territorial- of couse if she goes to the beach she is going to wear a bikini, around any man who's there, what is she supposed to do, go to the beach with a ski outfit on ?
But, I would question her decision to go to the beach with that particular guy to begin with. I mean, if they were FWB, sex only, ...it's not as if they had this deep intellectual connection, and a lots of things to talk about and mutual interests to share , so I hardly see how all this friendship may have developped. IF it was an ararngement based on sex, once the sex is over, so it's the function of this man in her life, why even keeping him around ? So I am afraid she is not being totally sincere with you. She may not be cheating yet , or consciously planning to cheat, but if she bothers spending all this one on one time with an ex FWB, to me this means she still must still have some emotional or physical attachment , - or both- for him.
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A
male
reader, eek  +, writes (3 March 2012):
 say to her you want to Go with them next time. If they are only friends they have nothing to hide so there is no reason Why she should object.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (3 March 2012):
 Sorry hon, lots of red flags here. Sounds like she doesnt want you along because you would be in the way.
I think that marriage plans should be called off until you can find out what is going on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2012): Run, don't walk from this situation. You aren't allowed to come along because it's "weird"? You are not jealous, your intuition is just letting you know you're about to get slammed by this girl. Untangle anything you have with her and find a girl who will remain true to you. And never look back.
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