A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love this guy with all my heart; he's my first love, and every time I think about us breaking up I just start to cry. We began our relationship online in 2008, but since he and I were both under 18 and living on opposite sides of the country, we weren't able to meet until recently. I took a spring semester internship by his university and we took out a short-term lease in a private apartment so that we could finally be together, at least for a little while. In January 2009 I found out that he was "cheating" on me. I was scared to believe the guy really liked me even before then, but once I saw that he was interested in some other girl (she told me herself and showed me the messages he sent), I decided I was done, and ended the relationship an hour later. Last August, however, I suddenly got feelings for the guy that I could hardly even explain, so I decided to contact him again. He seemed all excited and said he was still in love with me, even though he wasn't really ready to admit that what he did in January was wrong. I decided to give him another chance, for better or worse. Fast forward to now. We've been living together and things have gone okay. We're from different cultures (I'm American and his parents immigrated from Asia) and getting used to each others cultures has been a bit difficult, but we've managed okay. A few days ago he was using my computer to check his e-mail. He asked me something and I came and sat next to him, and then I saw that he was downloading a bunch of pictures of this girl. So, I looked at the e-mail he was downloading them from and the only thing I clearly remember was that she said something like "My heart beats faster when you talk about love. Maybe someday. Can I talk to you on Skype again?" (she didn't speak good english apparently). To be honest, I wasn't shocked that I saw him up to his old games; I was just pissed. Then my boyfriend said he'd send her an e-mail telling her straight up that he has a girlfriend and would appreciate it if she'd stop making advances. Well, that e-mail was never sent as far as I knew, because he said he wanted me to be there to help him write it. Fast forward to today; He was using my computer and I could hear the noises the Skype application makes, so I sarcastically asked, "let me guess, you're talking to *Glenda?" and he said "no, it's someone else." So I brushed it off though I felt pretty sure he was talking to her. I leaned in to kiss him about an hour later and saw, sure enough, he was talking to someone with a screenname very similar to the girl's name. But I didn't say anything. A few hours later, I couldn't take it anymore and said, "okay, I've got to ask, why did you find it necessary to lie to me about who you were talking to?""I didn't lie. It was some guy--a GUY--from Ohio.""Whatever. I saw the screenname.""Even though the letters were like that girl's, it was a guy. I can show you."So he logs in. Sure enough, it was the girl, because he called her by her name and I could see her chat icon. Then I notice that 3 minutes before he signed out he deleted his entire chat history. So I asked him if he ever sent that e-mail. He said yes. I asked him to show it to me. Then he says he deleted it immediately after he sent it. ...yeah, whatever. Then he went on a tirade trying to convince me that it was no big deal that he lied to me.I'm sick of playing games. Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't just dump his @$$?
View related questions:
has a girlfriend, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): you should dump him because he is lyin to you about sending the message because you shouldve seen him send the message to her. because no guy should cheat in you like that.
A
female
reader, jada101 +, writes (30 March 2010):
 Just let that boy go. He likes playing chat games to much for me....
...............................
A
male
reader, Dekten  +, writes (30 March 2010):
You said he's your first love. That makes it so much harder to let go, because you've never experiences love with anyone else.Trust me, there ARE other people out there who will love you and cherish you and ONLY you.You can get much better and you DESERVE to get much better.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): Nope. Dump him x
...............................
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (30 March 2010):
 Entertainment?
Dump him. He's an online player. That's why your relationship was so good BEFORE you officially got together and lived together. He's good a juggling relationships (possibly many) online, by either emailing, Skype, or texting.
Leave now. And don't be mad at yourself or feel bad.... guys like that are VERY convincing.
...............................
A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (30 March 2010):
 No I can't give you one good reason why you shouldn't dump this guy, but I can give you a million why you should. Sweetie, this is not the star you need to hitch your wagon to. Move on. He's a loser.
Good Luck!
Jeff
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (30 March 2010):
 I cant think of a single reason. My only question is why on earth are you on here asking this question when you already know what you should do?
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (30 March 2010):
 I'm so sorry..I can't think of even one reason to keep him, but I can think of about 20 NOT to keep him. Kick him to the curb, sweets. It may hurt, but if you stay with him he's just going to continue to lie and hurt you even more. You're much too good for the games he's playing. Too many lies, too many excuses.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): Not ONE reason comes to mind...
Dump him.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 March 2010):
 Nope, I can't think of a single reason why you shouldn't dump his @$$.
...............................
|
