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*alekis_mom16
writes: I have somehow gotten myself into a relationship with a married man. He set boundaries at the beginning stating what he was comfortable with happening between the two of us, but he has slowly broken all of his own rules. He is definitely starting to have stronger feelings for me than he expected, and he is very confused. He has a lot of thinking to do and the bottom line is that I make him happy in ways that his wife is unwilling or unable to. My question is what do I do? Do I take my cues from him? I am starting to feel something for him that might be dangerous, but I keep holding it at bay. I need advice and I don't know where to get it. Please help me!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): this post goes back to 2005 but the stories are all the same. mistresses waiting for their married lover to leave their woves. Almos never happens but you gals do not want to list. you think you are different and that you have him. you only have him between the sheets and then he goes back to his wife and kids.
Loved the post from Kim who stole her best friends husband and ended up alone. Wonder what happened in the interim.
Same old stories with almost the same ending; tears, heartache and pain: if only you women did not stoop so low non of this would have happened. but you now cry wolf...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): Well, I've been with a MM for 3+ years now. We've been living together abroad while his wife and kids are back home. When we met I had just left my husband and on my way to getting a divorce myself, which I did, and he had told me that he had been living away from home for years and was going to get a divorce. As I was true to my word and did eventually get a divorce, I naturally believed that he would too. WRONG! Well it's been 3 years and some, we have a home together, dogs, cars, the works and STILL no divorce. I'm still hanging in there because we're in wayyy to deep, but if you're not head over heels, my advice is try to get out. There is no greater pain than that of constant disappointment and when you get too attached it's twice as painful. Wish you the best of luck, I know how hard it can be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): I have been with a married man now for almost one year, he has been with his wife for about ten years now, and they are foster parents because she was not able to have children. Well, long story short I am sitting here staring at our one month old son now. Everyone in his family knows except for her. He has told me since we met that he did not love her anymore and was not happy, but he stuck around for the kids. So here I am with his only biological child (who looks just like him) the one he thought he would never be able to have, and even though he still comes over on a regular basis to see us and talked about divorce for months, he has yet to start it. In fact, he just dropped the bomb on me last week by saying the he's confused because he does still love her. So now I'm left sitting here wondering what is in the future for me and my son. BY the way in case you're wondering why I don't just tell her it's not like I don't have proof, this woman is crazy enough not to leave, then I could end up with my son going over there every other weekend and I would rather him leave us alone and walk away before that happens. So, my advice is to get out before it gets too complicated because believe me it will. Even though I love my child and would not give him up for anything, this is not how I thought my life would be, things for me are forever changed him, not so much.
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female
reader, brownsugar32  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 Well sweetie i feel the same way, I have been dating a married man for 11 months now, and his wife cheated on him and he put her out the house and then he took her back. they have one child together and at first in the beginning he told me how she didn't please him in no way. and how much he love me and how better i was and how we had so much in common. Well we have traveled for awhile and his wife caught on a little. So now this whole thing has left me in limbo because i can't let him go. We were also more than friends then lovers. So yes if you can get out of it, they really never leave unless the wife no longer wants them. I just want his wife to go away. But then again i don't, because the same way he did her he will do you. So do you really want him? Get out! I am still trying and yes it is hard, but we be the ones who get hurt in the end and looking dum. Good Luck
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female
reader, cmt1089x +, writes (12 June 2008):
Honey, I am in the same boat. I am currently seeing a married man who is 10 years older than me. He has been married for 3 years and he said the reason they got married in the first place is because she got pregnant. Well, after the wedding, she miscarried supposedly. I doubt that she was ever pregnant but maybe I am just in denial. Well, a few weeks ago she left him. I was so happy. I finally got to have this amazing man all to myself. A few days went by, and she decided she wanted back in. She said she was pregnant and he believed her. He took her back and I'm left feeling second best. He said she deserves another chance because she is having his baby. He said he'd give her a month or two and if things didn't get better then he would leave. I'm hoping. Its pathetic really. But I have never loved anyone like I love him and I don't think his intentions are to hurt me. He said he was gonna let me go because I deserve better, but I couldn't let him. I HAVE to talk to him. I need him. So we decided we'd just be friends. That lasted, oh, about 3 days, and just this morning he was in my bed again. He left to go home and I was left feeling lower than dirt. My advice is to get out, but that makes me a hypocrite because I can't leave my man. But if you can, seriously, you need to get out. I know its hard but you don't wanna live like this, like me. All it does is hurt you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): I just ended a relationship with a married man. I found out a week after the fact, I was pregnant by the bastard, now he claims the baby ain't his and I am stuck trying to raise a child while he is at home, did I tell the wife? You're damned straight I did. I hope he burns in hell for doing what he did to me. He is a cheater and she can keep him. It wasnt worth this pain or the three minutes it took him to get me pregnant. Well, I have 5.3 months till I prove this child is his and he can pay my ass child support while she gets off her lazy ass and has to get a job because he screwed up the happy home life. you have to ask yourselves, if he cheats on his wife do I really think he wouldn't do it to me? The answer is he will. Once a liar, always a liar. They are never sorry they cheated, only that they got busted, and boy is he ever busted!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): I was the other woman (we were both married) to a man 17 years my senior for 25 years! Believe me, these affairs can go on indefinately because he is getting it from both wifey and his little darlin'. He's happy as pie and you're dying a slow death of constantly being left behind. Finally, just real sick of him and the way he treated me. Gave him the ultimatum, and as I expected he chose his wife. So what did I do? Wrote old wifey about a 50 page chronicle of the past 25 yrs with the old goat. Blew their marriage all to hell! Revenge is sweet. He used and abused me like a toy all those years and never properly compensated me. Now he's paying! Hope he checks out soon.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): I was the other woman (we were both married) to a man 17 years my senior for 25 years! Believe me, these affairs can go on indefinately because he is getting it from both wifey and his little darlin'. He's happy as pie and you're dying a slow death of constantly being left behind. Finally, just real sick of him and the way he treated me. Gave him the ultimatum, and as I expected he chose his wife. So what did I do? Wrote old wifey about a 50 page chronicle of the past 25 yrs with the old goat. Blew their marriage all to hell! Revenge is sweet. He used and abused me like a toy all those years and never properly compensated me. Now he's paying! Hope he checks out soon.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2008): Listen, although this hurts me to say to know, without me knowing you or knowing the details of your relationship. However, it is very, very unlikely he'll leave his wife. It does occur, but only in cases when the wife is simply boring and the mistress is hot and makes herself unavailable to him and makes him want her. However, a mistress is always second best and thats why whenever he gives any inkling of affection or time she falls for it and gives him her all. She is then unable to play games-which ruins her changing of playing the game so that he leaves his wife and stays with the mistress. I know, i know everyone says the same thing but it's because it's true. People have been there and done that and the outcome is the same, the mistress gets hurt, especially if you are with him with feelings and not just for financial or other benefit. If you are, look for someone else-doubt it'll be possible until you leave him. Every look, call from him will make you want to stay with him only. Think about it-you'll be left with nothing and he has everything to come back to...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): well girls , I was were you are but now iam engaged to my man. If your men love you they will try and stay with you, they might leave their wives but remember is not only about the wife is about the children as well
I wish you the best
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): I am exactly where you are and all I can say is that the heart wants what the heart wants. However, the in between moments when you are not with him become more and more excrutiating as the time goes on. I have small children, a great career and wonderful friends so I am lucky that my time can be filled with out him. But always, always, ALWAYS, my mind goes back to him and I know he is sitting at the dinner table with her, he is bathing the kids with her, he is laying in bed asleep with her and no amount of distarction will ever make these thoughts more bearable. Each day is a struggle between what is right (breaking it off) and wrong (avoiding the pain of not having him in my life by hanging on). Will he leave her? Never. That's the plain, cold truth. It shivers me at night and clouds my day. If you can walk then I pray that you do so.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): What does morals and ethics have to do with it. Whose morals. Whose ethics. People cheat all the time --- they cheat in games, they cheat when they purchase things on the street, they cheat when they burn their own cd's/dvd's, they cheat when they chit-chat with friends on the office phone, they can be immoral and unethical in traffic or on the job when you're surfing the internet on company time, and let's not even talk about the people who cheat on the taxes or use an expense account for personal needs. A cheater is a cheater and if that is what they want to do ---- who are we to judge them. It's their life and we need to let them live their life the way they want to. It could be worse --- they could be selling drugs or out mass murdering. Give me a break and stop your whining.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): Why is it always the other woman's fault. It's also the cheating man's fault. They are both equally guilty and if they are happy --- we should just let them be. Marriage doesn't mean you own anyone. It's just a contract just like any other contract you enter into, beit a home loan, a credit card, etc. and you can get a divorce, file bankruptcy, and choose not to pay your bills --- it is YOUR choice. Either way, they are all just contracts that you sighned up for but in reality you can choose what you want to do with them --- slow pay, no pay, walk away. You just have to be willing to accept the outcomes of your decision.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): how about finding a man thaat is not married
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): this is crazy ..i know what u mean when u say he's breaking his own rules coz i am in the same damn predicament .....i cant understand what for and why they do this ...just wish they would get adamn life rather than mess ours up ...get rid of him ..its the best thing ..i think thats what i'm gonna do call the whole damn thing off .if he loves u and u mean something to him he will leave her if not its arisk u took and ..though it hurts u'll know ..he didn't have any intentions of leaving her in the first place so u call his bluff and do the right thing by ur self..girlfriend
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): I am in the same position and the only advice I have is this.enjoy what you have ... take it for what it is ... he may have other reasons ... mine cannot leave the whole family there are complex issues... to protect yourself to some extent take a second lover... someone who will be there if it all goes wrong and he cuts you out!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): I have been on all 3 sides of this spectrum. I have been cheated on, I have cheated, and I have been the other woman. Each time I (or my spouse) was just looking for someone to spend time with and one thing led to another. Affairs can be exciting because there is usually some sort of thrill involved, but what happens in the end is not worth the fun in the beginning.
I am now being olicited to become sexually involved with an old boyfriend who has been married for about 5 years. I looked for him when I divorced, and he did the same. We just found each other and I have no husband, but he has a wife.
The only reason he is not leaving his wife is because he says she is nuts. Because she is very unstable he is afraid she may try and hurt hurself, me, or himself or maybe even all three of us. He does love her, he says, but he is not IN LOVE with her anymore. She has done so much to cause him problems both professionally and personally. They do not have any kids, but I do. For this reason, I have decided to back away. It is the most difficult thing I have ever done.
If their marriage is strong they do not need any interference, and I will find someone else. I will take the time to heal the pain I feel having walked away. However, if their marriage is doomed then he knows where I stand and if it is meant to be for the two of us, then it will happen in a much more positive light. This way, it's not going to affect our relationship starting off with the kind of negativity that happens when an illicit affair turns a marriage into divorce.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): It's unfortunate that you didn't have the self esteem and self love to not become involved with a man who is already promised.
He is a coward and is using you to bolster his happiness. He is using you. You are continuing letting him use you, you enable him.
Stop with the sex for two months and see if he sticks around. He won't. He's using you for sex. Plain and simple. You aren't a "real,loving,adult" relationship- this isn't based on honesty, trust, support. Healthy adults who know how to love would not do what you and him are doing.
You aren't happy and why do you think that is?
He's a cheater. He's dishonest and you can't trust him completely. Your letting your sucker heart forgive him and hope for something that is not 100% and never will be.
If he loved and respected you 100%, he'd be divorced and asking you to marry him. A man of integrity would be this for the woman he loves with all he is.
Start seeing other men, and dating other men. Let him know. Tell him that whats good for him is good for you.
He'll get angry and rage and say you are cheating and have a laugh-he's a hypocrite.
You start loving yourself and believe you deserve a loving, faithful, honest man and put your foot down.
You know this but are afraid to do this because deep down, you know he won't choose you. Deep down, when he told you what he wanted and expected, you thought it would be exciting and that you would eventually mean so much to him, be so much worthy to him, he'd leave his wife for you and it would be the ulimate prize. You think it will erase all your self doubts, all your childhood pain, all you past relationship failures. He's a quick fix. Him having sex with you allows you to lie to yourself. Being in this affair serves some twisted pain inside yourself.
Who taught you this was acceptable? Why would an unavailable man appeal to you? Who does he represent to you? An emotionally absent father/mother?
Please snap out of it. Love yourself. Get some counselling to get some objectivity and deal with what is going on inside of you.
You don't need him. He sure as heck doesn't need you.
Be smart. Think.
Best Wishes.
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female
reader, theothergirl +, writes (28 July 2007):
I feel you and I the same thing is going on with me right now. I would love for her to find out 1 way or the other and to tell you the truth, I really want her dead. I just don't think that he will ever leave her.
Well, anyway, be patient! If you really love him and love spending time with him just like I love doing so with mine, you shouldn't worry. Maybe one day, he will leave her and you will have what u want
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): I agree with anonymous...Walk away now and save yourself much heartache later! I am married and have had a relationship with another man (who is also married) for almost one year. We, too, started off as friends and progressed into our romantic relationship. Both of our spouses are aware of our relationship. We have tried numerous times to walk away from each other,but our feelings for each other are too deep. The guilt we both feel for deceiving our spouses is overwhelming. I am currently in the process of divorce because I can't get him out of my head or heart and to stay with my husband w/b unfair to him (by depriving him of the love he deserves). Meanwhile, the man I'm involved with can't make the commitment to leave his wife because he is afraid of the effect on his children and his religious beliefs tell him to honor his committment. In the end, we all lose. RUN, don't walk, before you find yourself in a pool of hurt!the
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): I am also seeing a married man and have tried so many times to break it off. It all started off as friends and then we became lovers. He has told me so many times that he loves me but is scared of the reaction of leaving his wife. Bottom line is I now love this guy in a way I have never loved anyone else but also realise that he is probably never going to leave his wife. I know that I deserve better and every time I try to break it off he calls me constantly begging me not to do it. I know that I have to get strong and end it. My advice would be never get involved because you will find it very difficult to get out.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2007): i too can understand where you are coming from, i too am the other woman. he is 13 years older than me, only been married 18 months and no kids. he makes me so happy, and wen hes with me he is a totally different person. i know everyone says " he will never leave his wife" etc etc...and im just gullable etc etc and have got hooked on the buzz of it all, but i try and keep a level head. i dont know wot to do, am in tears most nights of the week, as i only see him once-maybe twice a week, and ive tried so many times to walk away, ive shouted, screamed, cried everything to him, but i am so utterly in love with this man i just dont know what to do anymore. i know i need to find a single man, and someone who respects me, but i cant get him out of my head. if i go out up town for a few drinks with my friends, if i "pull" i feel gulity if i have so much as talked to another man let alone kissed one. i beginning to think that maybe im insecure and i need to hold onto him in fear of no one else wanting me, i dont have a lot of self confidence, but i am a happy, funny bubbly character usually. its a nightmare and i really am stuck...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007): Hi,I am a married woman who's husband cheated on her for two years and i have gone through HELL AND MORE because of people like you do you not realise he is MARRIED get a man of your own for christ sake what is wrong with you women do you not see a wedding band and think out of bounds !! maybe he wasn't getting on with his wife for whatever reason no marriage is without that but we all try our best to make it work and solve whatever problems arise as and when they do. People like you only hinder that, he has a distraction and to the lady who replied her man and his wife were going to counselling whilst still fucking her! Have you no shame lady? You give women a bad name your kind!! leave him and his wife to sort out their differences and you know what... they will more than likely resolve them in time the husband always go back to the wife ALWAYS DEAR YOU DO WELL TO KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT THEN IT MIGHT SINK IN.Take it from me all you marriage breakers out there you are causing untold damage and not only to the wife to kids to familys you have no idea how many lives this kind of betrayal affects and if you could see the pain and hurt on peoples faces and see their whole world fall apart would you still want it? Take a look into your own hearts and ask yourself this, if he was to leave the wife and you both set up home how long will it take before he strays from you and then what do you want to got through the stress and hurt that went on before you WHY WHY go get yourself an unattached man there are plenty of them out there and leave the married ones alone, most of them would still be married if you sluts hadn't got your claws in, you should all hang your head in shame every one of you.Disgusted Female
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): HeyI too am the other woman. Doesn't sound very flattering but true. I am in the same boat as you are actually. What I do is I make the rules first off. I try to anyway. I keep control and he lets me because he is the one who is sneaking and cheating and lying. Not me. Secondly I let him know that he is not my only other option and that I see other people. I kind of scheme. I say oh, Alex wants to get together this weekend but i would prefer to see you if you want. As much as he may deny it and can't really, he would rather I don't see other men, so he sees me everytime. He and his wife are going to counselling this Mon. For his kids sake he is going to try to salvage the marriage ( while fucking me whenever possible) I hate that he has to cheat and lie because i think it makes him look bad. He uses his kids as an excuse for not leaving. He couldn't imagine not living with them or another man in his house raising them. As a mother too that is single, I get that. It just sucks. So my advice would be to not be so available. Use other friendships with men to make him jealous and insecure. And be non-chalant about it. If he doesn't leave he soon he probably wont. My guy is remodelling his kitchen with his wife. He isn't going anywhere. It sucks. I guess I am just using him until I find something real.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006): dont feel guilty take control im in the same position as you and i will make him leave his wife i got my mates to tell his wife he cheating with me but if he asks me ill deny knowing anything play hard ball with him thatll show you if he really wants you or not your letting him walk all over you at the minute and thats exactly how he wants it
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female
reader, 4DIANA +, writes (13 August 2006):
 Sweetie, I feel your pain. I am in the same sort of "dead end" relationship that you find yourself in. I know that you keep on telling yourself that if you just wait a bit longer, he will DEFINITELY divorce her and be with you.....just like he promised so many times before! I KNOW. I'm in the same relationship, just with a different man.
Well, I am so tired of putting myself last. Why should he have both of us? If he TRULY LOVED me, I wouldn't sit at home without him 6 out of 7 nights and neither would YOU! If these men could keep us waiting around for them forever, they would. Their fear is that we will tell their wives and ruin all adulterous fun!
I'd love to tell you that I'm leaving him and that you ought to do the same. But, you and I both know that is not likely to happen anytime soon, don't we? We deserve so much better. When are we going to realize that?
-Hopeless in Houston
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (5 February 2006):
 Well the first thing you do is You find yourself someone else to date. Have you thought about Why this man is your choice? He may have a quality that you really admire...or several. However, one quality he does not have is respect for you. (men who respect you can't wait to gleefully show you off to family and friends) Oh maybe he loves you if it is not bothering his real life....but don't plan on waiting for 2, 3, 8, years or longer. (and those girls sitting at home waiting that long NEVER EVER thought they would do it...it just slipped by)
Set your foot down with him and say..."I care very deeply for you and always will. But..this was fun and nice and it has crossed some line in my heart that I will not cross with a married man. You go back to your wife...and for six weeks, treat her like you do me. If it does not save your relationship...then when you get a divorce, I might see if we have any place for each other. At this time, I must end this. I am not mad, I am not trying to hurt you...but I am extricating myself from something that will hurt me if I go on. So for me, understand I care, but I won't want to hear from you, boink you or see you following me around. good-bye and have a very happy life." (a last roll in the hay is your choice...but I advise against it)
Now...and this is the important part. DO this in such a way...that after saying what you have to say, YOU CAN LEAVE. Don't sit around your home watching him boo hoo and beg and making promises he'll never keep. Leave and do not accept any contact from him for a long time...at least the six weeks....six months would be better. If he is getting a divorce it should be over by then. If not...you have not wasted your time listening to every detail of something that ends up not happening.
If you insist on dating married people...please notice the Players. (married guys who totally do this all the time..ususally their wives have their own stable-studs...and they know how to follow the rules and keep you understanding them until you can move on. Players can help you get over that man in a flash...they will boost your ego...not tear it down. They will keep it light, are great in bed and insist on safe sex.) Then when you meet someone really available...you are free to end it without so much as a frown. And they will say hi to you when you see them at the grocery store.
If your married guy is giving you ANY thought of waiting til he's divorced...FORGET IT. You will go through tortures you can not even imagine yet. And he will be haveing a grand ole time while the two of you (you and his wife) cater to his every whim...neither one of you understanding that he's haveing great sex with the other one. Also has it crossed your mind WHY the wife might not be Pleasing him any more? Does she work,deal with kids, cook and do all the household repairs HE's to busy for? (cause he spends so much time with you?) Then he waltzes in smelling funny and SOOOOOOO tired and goes to sleep in his lazy boy? He might be totatlly to blame for her lack of intrest. Not much to look forward to is it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2005): I'm also in the same situation though mine is alot worse. We were both married and I fell in Love with my best friend husband. Him and his wife baptized my daughter so they are my daughter's "God Parents". We started fooling around and one thing lead to another and we got involved. We hid the Affair for about two and half years until we got caught. We got caught and I suffered the consequences and I am presently going through a divorce. Him and his wife are having there share of problems but he refuses to leave her. I see him everyday and he tells me he loves me but, he doesn't want to leave his wife because of his kids. I love him with all my heart and would do anything for him to leave his wife he tells me he is very confused. I would do anything to spend the rest of my life with this man. I have never felt so in Love with anyone as I do with him. Should I let him go or fight for him.
Kim
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2005): Hi, I have been in the same situation as you. Met a man, married of course. We became best friends, lovers, etc. He said he loved me two months in and never intended to leave his wife. I fell in love with him months later. The relationship was amazing. We saw each other every day. He was with me more than he was with her. He told me loved me more than her in every possible way. I thought it was the love of my life. When push came to shove, he chose her. He cried, he went to therapy to get over me, he kept calling etc. It took me over year in therapy, suicidal thoughts and moving away from his city to get out of the downward spiral. I have never regretted anything in my life, but i regret that. I still have a hard time trusting new men. He happily took and took from me until there was just an empty shell left. I am an attractive and confident woman, and he robbed me of my laughter and self-esteem. No one has the right to steal that from you, and yes, I mean steal, beacuse smart women like us would never give that away. No matter how good it is for you, how totally beyond life it was for me, in the end, he didn't love me enough to leave, and yours probably won't either. So now, he's back in his marriage, not happy, not sad either, and I look like the tramp in everyone's eyes since I was the other woman. It hurts and then it hurts even more. My words can't stop you from the euphoria you are feeling. That feeling of utter happiness, but please, take my advice, have respect for yourself and break it off cold turkey. There is no other way. beleive me, I have tried. Gather a support group around yourself. You will need it.
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reader, Nomaqhwa +, writes (21 June 2005):
I do not know old you are or your married boyfriend. I don't know how long he has been married or if he has children with his wife. All i know is that married men tend to want to go back to the life they had with their spouses before they got married, before the children and other marriage activities that can take sooo much of their time that couples forget about themselves as lovers. Through marriage lovers become mom, dad, financial providers act. It then quite common for men to find someone that gives back that 100% attention. Someone that sees a lover not anything else. That's where you come in. But be warned, you might be used. Married men that have affairs propably never intend to leave their wives and family, they propably confuses love with the excitment of having an affair, they have affairs to break away from routine, at your expense!Keep this in mind and consider a single guy that is willing to spend the rest of his life exclusively with you.All the best
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2005): Whats wrong with you? Does no one else want you? Out of all the single men you decide to mess with a married man. You're a disgrace to all women you if you make him happy in ways his wife can let him deal with it. It's his wife not your problem; go make someone else happy.
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reader, rabbit +, writes (8 June 2005):
I'm a 24 year old male with only 1 past relationship, and even I can see this doomed to failure.Sorry for being so pessimistic, but let's just say he does break up with his wife, marries you and leads a happy life.What's to say that he won't eventually get bored of you and decide that it's time to find a new relationship and cheat on you?If EITHER party is willing to cheat once, then they will be willing to do it again, no matter what promises are made!The other this I need to mention is that you are not the best role model either!Dating a married man is definately immoral and highly unethical.What you are doing is condoning his actions and essentially telling him it's ok to cheat, and in the future, cheat on you if you end up in a relationship with him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2005): I think you should stop doing whatever you're doing because in the end someone's gonna get hurt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2005): You are a disgrace to all women. It may have seemed innocent and thrilling in the beginning but your lack of respect for his marriage, and your lack of self restraint is more than just troubling. You are perpetuating an epidemic for your own self interests. I am ashamed to be a woman when I hear about people like you. Where are your morals and self respect?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2005): Girl, you need to let this loser go! You are simply setting yourself up for serious heartbreak. This dude wants his cake and icing too. If you keep on with him you will end up with a broken heart. Say he does leave his wife to hook up with you........He will do the same thing to you. Girl run away and do not look back!
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reader, Crazy_About_B +, writes (7 June 2005):
I think that you should leave the man alone. He's married for christ sakes! The only thing you are going to do is mess up a happy couple.You need to sit down with the man and tell him striaght up how you feel, but you also have to let him know that you can't mess around with him and that he needs to spend more time with his wife because that is why he married her in the first place. Tell him that you would just like to be friends. Then you should go out find a man that is SINGLE and start a relationship of your own.You never know you might just find Mister Right.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (6 June 2005):
 An affair with boundaries? Wow! That sounds so grown up! Yeah, right. Stop fooling yourself. This relationship was wrong and emotionally unhealthy to begin with. Get outta there. If you stay, you only wonder if he thinks about his ex-wife all day. And you'll have to listen to his regret speech time after time. Who needs that?
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reader, schlottjl +, writes (6 June 2005):
 He is trying to not look as sleazy as he is. DO NOT pursue him. Any woman will be able to do things his wife cannot do. That is because he has intimacy issues and wants an easy way out. Women are only fertile a short while. If you ever dreamt of a happy and fulfilling love and family, this is the sure fire way to ruin your life.... longterm. Get ready to find new dreams. If you want real love, remember it is not sexual attention and it is not meaningless flattery. You are probably really hot, and are for sure to him... This means that you are to many men. Do not sell yourself short and give yourself (or the gift of yourself) only to those who deserve it. Make them work for you and do not fall for anyone who whould hide the above reality from you. He wants more than any one person can fulfill and if he lies enough to gullibale girls, he might be able to build his house of cards. But that house will eventually drop and you will be the scapegoat. So you won't have him and she will stay with him and hate you, and all the while you will have (by your actions) advertised that you are cheap. Nothing but falttery will buy you. Sincerity not needed just words!!Don't let him steal your worth and your deeper than hot, value. You should think only about what he does for you, men lie sometimes and if you are not getting everything you want from the relationship, dump him and find one that gives you what you need! Don't play the game backwards. He wishes! Repeat that to yourself until you feel it.Good luck- hot stuff!
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