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... Send *heeler a private message | | | *heeler's profile:I am from Mississippi, and have lived most of my life here. In the past I was not particularly excited about living in a rural state, but over the past few years have come to realize the good things about the South that made me who I am.
I now live in San Antonio.
I am from a big family, seven kids.
Just like all of you, I am trying to navigate through life's many ups and downs, and relationships certainly provide plenty of these. Personal relationships bring more fulfillment to life than anything else. How much does it mean to have a beautiful home, plenty of money, and success if you are alone?
Thankfully, we can get through all of it together!
I have been through some crazy situations in my life, and will gladly offer any advice I can to help someone else.
I don't pretend to know more than anyone else, but I do know that whenever you are inside the problem it is much harder to get perspective. And that is why we are all here!
Hopefully I can give back just a portion of what has been given to me.
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How do I end a 7 year old relationship?
Q. Hiya. I am 26 and I have been in a relationship for 7 years now. It isn't a healthy relationship, and for the past couple of years I have been waking up at night, from dreaming about meeting somebody new and falling in love. At the weekend I me...
A. 26 August 2011: Although you may think this will come as a surprise to him, there must also be thoughts in his mind that the relationship is not even close to "okay".
Start with what you know you know: The current relationship is going nowhere, it doesn't ... (read in full...)
He needs to clear his debt and has now said he's enlisting. Should I give up on our chances?
Q. My ex bf and I have been friends for 3 years and dating for a year and a half. I am well educated and went back to school recently to get another degree. He has no degree and now is in debt and trying to get out of it. Since Ive known him hes told ...
A. 11 July 2011: Debt, and all the intense pressures that go along with it, can quickly destroy a relationship. It is the number one cause of failed marriages, in fact.
So, I would certainly support any decision he makes to regain control of his financial problems... (read in full...)
We have a child together and another on the way, but he's always looking at other girls and hanging out with his friends. But then he insists he loves me! Do I just need to get over this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for going on 4 years now. We have a 2 year old and another baby on the way, so it's safe to say we have a pretty serious relationship. I am 22 and he is 27 so there are a few years between us. I have problem...
A. 11 July 2011: You are in a tough spot, for sure.
I would guess that you are hesitant to react too strongly to his actions because you fear driving him away? That is, if you give him any ultimatum regarding the attention he gives other women then he may begin to... (read in full...)
How do I tell my husband I am in love with his brother and want to be with him?
Q. I am in love with my husbands brother and now my husband wants to be a woman. We have decided upon divorce as i do not want to be with a woman and he once transitioned will want to be with a man. This is apparently somthing hes supressed for 11 of ...
A. 2 July 2011: First of all, there are a number of issues regarding whether you are still in a marriage once he gets a sex change.
Because it is illegal in most states to have a same-sex marriage, if he changes his status to "female" then your marriage will leg... (read in full...)
Why does he act so strange? Are we still in love with each other?
Q. hey, I have this issue.... my boyfriend and i were friends for two years then we started dating and after 3 months (something like that) we became officially boy and girl and after 2 months he broke up with me and after one month he talked to me an...
A. 2 July 2011: This is happening because the lines between friendship and relationship have been blurred. It is likely that there are still feelings that sometimes resurface.
Part of the problem is that when you are in a relationship you discuss with each oth... (read in full...)
I thought it was just for sex...but does he like me in a relationship way?
Q. I met this man, Jonny last September and we,ve met up twice a week since and we always have sex. I met somebody else, James and didnt see Jonny for two months. James was only using me so i split up with him and Jonny got annoyed saying can't be...
A. 2 July 2011: Jonny clearly has feelings for you, as he did not see the relationship the same way you did. When two people have an understanding that they are just having sex without a commitment they should not be bothered by the knowledge that the other person ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I am really ready to be a one man woman...but don't want to lose him!
Q. Me and my guy have been together for a year and 6 months,but we had sex before then we just were hook up pals that was never serious until now so our past was rocky from the jump start, and we both messed and fooled around on each other at the ...
A. 2 July 2011: You are right in questioning the way your relationship started. I have been in the same situation before, and it just feels like an awful cycle with no clear solution.
Trust is the foundation of a strong, committed relationship. When you meet som... (read in full...)
Are girls really like apples in a tree?
Q. so...I have a question for the boys here, today I stumbled across this "Girls are like apples in a tree" quote and it got me thinking, are girls really like apples in a tree?? is the whole "the greatest apples are at the top of the tree...(...
A. 30 June 2011: Hmmm...I don't know. There is also the chance that the apples at the top of the tree will be rotten by the time anyone gets to them. This would relate to the Old Spinner idea maybe? Also, the stronger branches are at the bottom of the tree, provid... (read in full...)
Is it possible that he likes me but is bothered by the age gap?
Q. I have an attractive, single friend (we worked together last summer and have kept in touch) who I get on with like a house on fire. I'm pretty smitten and I get the vibe that he's attracted to me too. Only problem is I'm 23 and he's 38, and we're ...
A. 30 June 2011: It is very likely that he is hesitating because of the age gap. Most guys who are n their late 30's don't assume a flirtatious woman in her early twenties is interested in a relationship. And from what you have said, I am not sure you are nec... (read in full...)
Daughter takes back abusive BF - Why?
Q. I have twin 21 yr old children, Jordan and Jessica. Jordan has been friends with "Luke" since they were kids. I always liked "Luke", he seemed like a good kid. lasy year he started dating my daughter and I was fine with it, until I seen how this ...
A. 30 June 2011: I will admit I feel a bit odd making any suggestions to you, as you are my "elder", and have lived and experienced much more than I have.
It is SO difficult to know when to step in a family member's relationship. What is easy to know, however,... (read in full...)
Should I risk quitting my government job for a boyfriend who I haven't ever met in person?
Q. Dear Aunts, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now. We met online on facebook and started it out by being friends. I know it kinda makes no sense coz we live a world apart and never seen each other in person before. B...
A. 29 June 2011: The cold hard fact is that women are raped and murdered every day by men they thought were nice, men who could speak and write well. Men who know that when they get to that place inside a women that is not concerned with logic, or common sense, they ... (read in full...)
I have noticed some changes in her, what could be the reason?
Q. I met her in the internet since 10 months ago , we live so far away from each others , we clicked so fast , and we felt we should meet up , prior to that we felt love but we wanted to see if that's real or not , we met after 3 months of chatting in ...
A. 29 June 2011: Because of the physical distance it is difficult to know what could be causing this inconsistent behavior on her part. It does not necessarily mean she is doing anything wrong, or not being honest with you.
You mentioned that "we felt love" be... (read in full...)
How can a guy be so selfish and hurt me so much?
Q. Why would guy be so selfish and hurt me so much:(? Am fuming!! I loved my ex boyfriend so much. I thoight we were in love and had a deep meaningful relationship, but he was faking it all the while! He dumped me saying he doesn't want a r...
A. 29 June 2011: It is not a guy thing! People can be brutally selfish, and the worst part is that those people are usually extremely good at hiding this until it is too late.
Being selfish is just part of a narcissistic worldview. If you haven't yet heard of... (read in full...)
What's the deal with guys and big boobs?
Q. What is it about big boobs that guys like so much? I have small breasts, small waist and a big, round butt! My friends tell me I have a great body and that I should be proud, but there's something I don't get. I don't seem to receive that much ...
A. 29 June 2011: I disagree that most guys like or look for "big boobs". When my guy friends and I discuss women, it is rare for anyone to say, "I just want a girl with big boobs". It is only a minority that seem to have that priority.
That is really a juvenile... (read in full...)
Were married, I don't want her meeting up with him !
Q. Back in April I caught my wife texting a friend of hers in ways I did not think were appropriate. They were arranging to meet for dinner and drinks without me knowing, for instance. I sat her down and asked her what the deal was. She told me that...
A. 28 June 2011: This is definitely odd behavior on her part. I don't want to plant any seeds in your mind, because there may be an innocent explanation, but in general when you are married there shouldn't be withheld information like this.
It is absolute... (read in full...)
Do I have to meet him? Is it possible that he is still in love with me?
Q. please help me, this is the scenario: my ex-bf and i been together for almost 6yrs until he went to dubai for work. we had long distance relationship for more than a year until his american citizen old classmate who was in USA pop into his ...
A. 28 June 2011: It is very likely that he is afraid his current relationship and upcoming marriage will not last. The relationship he had with you was much more established.
I brought up some statistics in response to another question that I think apply to your ... (read in full...)
Still living with my ex and he is acting like we are still together! What should I do?
Q. My ex broke up with me in January. We still live together due to financial reasons, and have agreed to stay in our current place until our lease is up at the end of the year. I have moved into the spare bedroom and we live as roommates now. ...
A. 28 June 2011: This situation has a little bit of sting to me personally, as I know what it is like to be a guy who is interested in a woman who lives with her ex. I met a girl that I REALLY clicked with and thought was amazing. We had a lot in common and enjoyed ... (read in full...)
Did I make the right move or is it time to leave?
Q. This is the second time I have moved for a man to another state that I have met through the internet. It's a very complicated situation for me. I have a low self esteem and I am so insecure. My boyfriend has a 16 yr. old son that he sees every other ...
A. 27 June 2011: First of all, it is not too late for you to find someone who is right for you. Really let that sink in, and know it.
Staying in a relationship out of fear, for any reason, is hopeless. You will not wake up one morning and magically find happines... (read in full...)
What is he trying to tell me?
Q. ok, so theres this guy who ive liked for 2 yrs now. We talked we hung out and then it seem like he fell off the face of the earth. Then about 5 months ago we ended up hanging out with mutal friends and he was telling strangers i was his wife, but we ...
A. 27 June 2011: It sounds like he is a nice guy, but not someone you know well enough to really put yourself out there just yet. I think you left out the most important part of what happened, and will need to clarify for us to best provide advice. You said... (read in full...)
Should I just continue to ignore the problems? Or, if I confront them, how should I do this?
Q. I should preface this whole thing by saying that my boyfriend is a really nice guy. He's sweet, and kind, and sensitive. He's not an asshole, even though some of these things might make him sound selfish! However, there are some things in our re...
A. 27 June 2011: There seems to be many issues that need to be resolved. If it was just a matter of the household chores not being divided fairly then maybe a milder approach would be best. But it is obvious problems have been stacking up, and it is time to address ... (read in full...)
Are men responsible or women for the fact that women don't look inside themselves for true integrity anymore?
Q. I want some female feedback. I see a lot of women freaking out about their guys interest in porn. I like porn. And if i had a partner I'm sure she would hate it as I would if she liked porn. I tend to like soft porn and i don't get an erection. I ...
A. 27 June 2011: I want some female feedback. I see a lot of women freaking out about their guys interest in porn. I like porn. And if i had a partner I'm sure she would hate it as I would if she liked porn. I tend to like soft porn and i don't get an erection. I ... (read in full...)
Should I risk quitting my government job for a boyfriend who I haven't ever met in person?
Q. Dear Aunts, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now. We met online on facebook and started it out by being friends. I know it kinda makes no sense coz we live a world apart and never seen each other in person before. B...
A. 26 June 2011: Wow, well you couldn't really have any stronger indications that you should end this relationship and not look back.
He has probably told you 5% of the truth, and if that even includes prison time for fraud then what else do you need as proof!? ... (read in full...)
Why shouldn't I be embarrassed about being a virgin?
Q. Hey, I just have a quick question. I asked everyone here a while back whether I should tell my girlfriend that I'm a virgin or not and people kept telling me I shouldn’t be embarrassed about it. Why? Why shouldn’t I? Most guys loose their the vcar...
A. 25 June 2011: It is much bigger in your own mind than in reality. We do this all the time! Keep things to ourselves because we are convinced they would not be accepted or people would think worse of us.
Here is a little hint: It is usually the people who most... (read in full...)
Three weeks since the break up, is it too early to date a new guy?
Q. Hmm so this is the situation. I recently broke up with my bf...we'd been together for nearly 2 years..(22 months to be precise). I was the one who called it off...it was going no where, we were making each other miserable... So its been abou...
A. 25 June 2011: Honestly I think it is too soon, but it is a close call.
Some break-ups are extremely intense, but that doesn't seem to be the case with you.
How long it takes to be "ready" is completely different for every person. Because you broke it off, ch... (read in full...)
Should I risk quitting my government job for a boyfriend who I haven't ever met in person?
Q. Dear Aunts, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now. We met online on facebook and started it out by being friends. I know it kinda makes no sense coz we live a world apart and never seen each other in person before. B...
A. 25 June 2011: Whenever there is a blindingly simple way to resolve a problem, and yet it never happens, there is always a reason. The very obvious answer here is just to plan a short trip to spend some time together. The fact that has not happened in 18 months is ... (read in full...)
How do I get the girl I love to give me another chance?
Q. I want her back! I was with this girl for 2.5 years. Asked her to marry me and planned on moving in together. Then one night we got into an argument. After that she Erased all my pics on her Facebook her parents un-friended me, and then the next ...
A. 25 June 2011: To update everyone: the argument was over how much she spent on plates for our apartment. I told her she could go out and get the dishware but she had to keep it under 175, ideally 150. When I saw my bank account later in the day it showed she spent ... (read in full...)
I feel as though I've missed my chance with my best friend!
Q. I have feelings for my best friend. he's been dating someone else, and i actually encouraged him and supported him when he told me about this girl, just because all i want is for him to be happy, no matter who it's with. it's been a few months and i ...
A. 25 June 2011: At the risk of sounding too simple the answer is no, you haven't missed your chance. He doesn't seem to be hopelessly in love with someone else, and may even be single soon?
This may be as good a time as any to have this discussion with him, if ... (read in full...)
I just found out the guy my wife lost her viginity to had a bigger penis
Q. hi just found out the guy my wife lost her virginty to was my 2nd cousin after 22 years of married life when she blurted out his name by mistake i asked her his name and found out he had a bigger penis and said she was sorry had i known this i would ...
A. 25 June 2011: I gather from the other responses that I was not alone in wondering about this situation. It honestly doesn't make sense for several reasons.
Now, I am the first to admit that truth can be stranger than fiction, so I will respond in good faith. ... (read in full...)
Is he just trying to drive me away with his disinterested stance?
Q. Help, my marriage is falling apart and my husband doesn't seem to want it to work. I just want to be a normal couple but we keep falling out because of his ways. he never wants sex, he puts it down to not been able to get an erection but i know he ...
A. 24 June 2011: It sounds like the marriage has been on life support for a very long time now. Sometimes it is easy to not see what is really happening when the process has taken place over years. It didn't get where it is overnight.
My guess is that one of the r... (read in full...)
Why the sudden change of behaviour? Some men are so odd......
Q. Hi all, I’m very puzzled about a certain man’s response to me. He’s a language tutor and he runs a mature class twice a week. I’ve been taught by him for nearly a year. I’m enjoying the experience of developing and speaking another language...
A. 24 June 2011: As you said, the banana peel moment was very trivial. For that reason, it would be very understandable for you to take a moment and pull him to the side. Explain that, as trivial as it may seem, you wanted him to know that you didn't mean to be ... (read in full...)
Broken up with bf, and betrayed by friends. How do I overcome the sadness and loneliness?
Q. I am feeling really hurt and down. My bf and I broke up and it was my fault because I lied and probably hurt him. I guess as a result ppl started choosing sides. He is fun, and 'cool' and very popular. He is outgoing and I am shy and kind of ...
A. 24 June 2011: I know exactly what you are going through, and I think this experience is much more common than we realize.
It will not last, and I can promise you that. When two people break up, there are always two very different stories about what the causes w... (read in full...)
I'm not usually one to break up families, but I can't help the way I feel about him.
Q. I've got a bit of a dilemma and would really like some advice. I've fallen in love with a man who is already in a relationship with another woman. He said he loves me too, but the only problem is, is that he lives in Wales, and I live in England....
A. 23 June 2011: You do see the irony in the question you posted? :-) There is a pattern here, perhaps. And the only reason I bring it up is because that reveals a lot about the kind of guys you are attracted to. Would it be fair to say that you find yourself at... (read in full...)
Should I try and resolve this, try and save our relationship?
Q. Right, I'm asking this out of desperation. My relationship is falling apart. I'm sixteen and I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months, and suddenly things are crumbling and changing so fast. I don't know what to do. Things are really ...
A. 23 June 2011: Even though it is not what you want to hear, it seems that the relationship is heading in a very obvious direction.
I believe that most of the time we know very well what our heart is telling us to do, but our heart doesn't use words. So we try t... (read in full...)
I love my best friend but don't know if I should tell her?
Q. Hello, i am dutch from the netherlands,i am new to this internet site and also please excuse my english.i was married 15 years ago but split up as my Ex wife did not love me as she fell for someone else .i have two kids both boys who are 12 and 13 ...
A. 23 June 2011: First of all, I have a question about the ten years since your wife left.
You stated that you have not only not dated during that time, but not even been interested in anyone else. Is there a reason why? I ask because whenever someone goes thr... (read in full...)
Does anyone have a story with a happy ending where you and your ex broke up, but got back together even when it seemed impossible?
Q. So, I see alot of heartbroken people on here who lost there ex....so, does anyone have a happy ending story where you and your ex broke up, but got back together even when it seemed impossible?...
A. 22 June 2011: It seems what you are really asking is whether there is hope. Whether there is a chance that you will get back together with that special person. Just a guess, but am I right?
The thing about relationships, love, and the like is that there ar... (read in full...)
Not in love with wife, but lover says she wants to have child with her boyfriend, and no longer wants sex!
Q. I am in quite a complicated relationship, let me explain: 1. I am a married man, no kids 2. In a relationship with a woman 7 years older to me who is living with another man. 3. We work toghether, earlier in the same team now in different teams...
A. 20 June 2011: "I do understand the comments, some of them harsh but true. There is one thing I wanted to mention: I do want to leave this girlfriend, but I want to do so with a sense of victory I want her to know I have someone else and I am no longer there for ... (read in full...)
Lies, lies. Should I cut him of my life for lying? Or can he change?
Q. I recently dumped my beloved boyfriend and eventually friend, because he has a bad habit of lying. He doesn't just lie when he needs to in pressure, but he just randomly lies about the most craziest things. Things that aren't important whats soo ...
A. 20 June 2011: Usually I do my best to be moderate in my suggestions to others when making a decision as important as whether to end a relationship. There are too many parts that make up the whole to make some statement like, "Get rid of his ass! Leave him now!"
... (read in full...)
Not in love with wife, but lover says she wants to have child with her boyfriend, and no longer wants sex!
Q. I am in quite a complicated relationship, let me explain: 1. I am a married man, no kids 2. In a relationship with a woman 7 years older to me who is living with another man. 3. We work toghether, earlier in the same team now in different teams...
A. 20 June 2011: Wow, I think it will be hard to get anyone to feel bad that it is "hurting real bad", considering that you are not only married and cheating on your wife, but considering finding yet another woman to start an affair (let's call a spade a spade) to ... (read in full...)
I want our group of friends to know about my husband's affair with another one of our friends!
Q. Ugh. I posted a question April 19 regarding my husband's old secret that has destroyed a friendship and marraige both. In a nutshell, he cheated on me with a mutual friend, lied about it for years, and now thinks I should get over it and still be ...
A. 20 June 2011: Some people like to entice someone who is in a relationship. It is selfish and narcissistic, but unfortunately not uncommon. These people do not know or understand happy, committed, and healthy relationships. So they have no problem engaging in ... (read in full...)
Disappointed in engagement ring, am I being selfish?
Q. I'm interested in your opinions. My boyfriend was engaged before he met me. He bought her a very beautiful $7000 ring, for which he spent all his savings on. The relationship failed and she returned the ring. After us being together for ov...
A. 19 June 2011: My first reaction was to tell you to quit being so materialistic, but on second thought I think you are justified in your feelings. (Thank God I read the whole question!) That being said, you are walking on mine-filled grounds right now. I agr... (read in full...)
How do you handle your ex moving on?
Q. So i was with my ex girlfriend for 2 yrs and she has recently dumped me 2 months ago and started dating someone else a month after we broke up...I'm sure everybody has been in the situation where your ex moves on to someone else really quickly after ...
A. 19 June 2011: Honestly, the best medicine for everyone involved is for you to move on, avoid places you know they will be, and let it go.
And that means not asking mutual friends constantly about her, not intentionally going to places that you know you will lik... (read in full...)
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