Allowed to stay for a couple of hours then home by myself on the train while fiance stays!!!
Q. Could you please help me! I am going to my fiance's works night out, but he's only allowing me to stay for a couple of hours! He said I have to get the train home myself while he stays at his friend's house. I think he has plasnned to meet up when ...
A. 17 December 2008: I know I would be suspicious. Doesn't add up, doesn't sound right. Ask him pointblank why he does not want you to stay. You have a right to know - you are his fiance! This is the man you are supposed to be spending the rest of your life with! ... (read in full...)
We split up, he got married, he calls and wants to get together, I still love him, why?
Q. I feel like I am in limbo. I am still in love with my ex boyfriend who I split up with 3 years ago. He met somone else soon after we split up and he is now married to her. I thought I would soon move on and find someone else but I realised I havn't ...
A. 17 December 2008: I agree with the replies here...he should not be contacting you at all. It will interfere with your ability to heal and move on.
You may never stop loving him. But you will still be able to move on eventually, and even begin to love another ... (read in full...)
I go soft during sex...
Q. Hi Just a quick question, I have been having problems keeping hard during sex, it's been on and off for the past year. I have taken viagra and I get a good normal hard but it still goes soft durning sex and takes ages to cum. I have a new ...
A. 17 December 2008: I agree, it's more than likely psychological, but it never hurts to check in with your doctor just to be sure it's not anything physical.
Yes, when you worry ahead that something might happen, it often DOES happen in reality! If you can get your... (read in full...)
If my boyfriend watched porn, does this mean he is obsessed with sex? Can people change?
Q. Ok so my basic question upfront is- can people change? I know it's possible. But I'll ask with my specific situation. If it ends up getting long I apologize but bear with me. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. A couple of months a...
A. 16 December 2008: I think some men lie once their porn habits are discovered b/c they are embarrassed, ashamed, feel guilty...any number of negative emotions. They don't want to hurt us either.
Other men lie about it b/c part of the thrill for them is doing it... (read in full...)
Men's thoughts on marriage proposal
Q. Hi agony uncles What does a proposal mean to you? What is it like to propose to your longtime girlfriend, if she was waiting for it for a long time and sent A LOT of hints? Do you want to surprise her with the question even she is really expec...
A. 16 December 2008: I know you are looking for a man's perspective...but if I could reply from a woman's perspective, and most likely that of your gf...
It is one of the single most monumental moments of a gal's life...so it should be memorable, and it should b... (read in full...)
What do you think about proposal? Should it be a surprise?
Q. We went ring shopping last week, so probably he's proposing to me soon - but mn, it's as strange feeling expecting a proposal when it's supposed to be um, a surprise. I don't really care about the ring, but I really dreamed of a surprise! Even so he ...
A. 16 December 2008: Depends on the circumstances. One of my best friends and her bf, together for 3 years, had already discussed marriage. They went ring shopping together, and picked it out together. So there was never an official "proposal" or "surprise". She ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend slept with other guys should I be ok with it
Q. my girl likes to hang out her guy frends but some of them shes slept with should i be okay with that ...
A. 15 December 2008: Well, I know from personal experience that this situation can wreak havoc on a relationship.
I have been friends with a guy for close to 20 years. We never hung out alone, just the 2 of us, until after he got separated from his wife (and they ult... (read in full...)
What are some hot things to say while having sex?
Q. What are some hot things to say when your having sex that will get him really turned on?...
A. 15 December 2008: Things that you wouldn't normally say otherwise...
My fiance and I do not refer to our body parts with offensive language or curse words...except sometimes when we are in the bedroom. It's naughty and adds to the whole experience!
He like... (read in full...)
Break in and take me!
Q. what is the deal????? my sister said she has a weird fetish of sort, and asked my opinion. here goes.She wants her boyfriend to pretend to break into her house, and pretend to rape her! she loves really hard core sex, and thinks its sexy when a guy ...
A. 15 December 2008: ha-ha, I just replied on the role-playing suggestions question with this very fantasy! It's not that she wants to be raped in real life by a stranger by any means. She wants her boyfriend to do it - obviously she knows him and feels safe with ... (read in full...)
Any role playing ideas?
Q. Hiya, Me and my bf love sex and we're really into role play like naughty maid and school girl etc. Does anyone have any other ideas we could try? We are gonna try a drama one where we walk into the room in dfferent roles and act out a wild love ...
A. 15 December 2008: Though I haven't tried it for many years... would like to again! Burglar and victim...you are sleeping in the bedroom (or on the couch, wherever)...he startles you by breaking into the house...you confront him, but he is bigger and stronger than ... (read in full...)
What do men like their woman to do while on top??
Q. what do men like women to do when their woman are on top. or How do you master woman on top...
A. 15 December 2008: Experiment...you will find that with different movements and angles, you will feel different sensations. For me, leaning back some while moving my pelvis back and forth seems to give great pleasure to both of us. That is when he moans the most, as ... (read in full...)
Does he think about other women while we have sex EVERY time? or just occasionally?
Q. Hello, new to being a member here on DearCupid, but I have consulted to this site for more "level-minded" answers about certain issues I have had with pornography. I have done kaboodles of reading online, and in book stores to find a better u...
A. 15 December 2008: My thoughts are, based on my own personal experiences with my fiance...
if he never looks at you during sex...or if he looks at you but only fleetingly...if you never lock eyes...if he always has to have his eyes closed...if he is constant... (read in full...)
Should I just be polite when I meet the 'other woman' at the office Christmas party?
Q. Hi last year my husband and I went through a really bad patch and he left me for a few months. Before we broke up though I found out that he had been flirting with one of the girls from his work. They had been sending text messages to eachother. ...
A. 12 December 2008: I know, boy do I know, the temptation must be so strong to say something. But don't. It could have all kinds of negative repercussions. A scene could erupt, the bosses might notice which could put your husband's job in jeopardy, etc.
You a... (read in full...)
He lies about small things, what else does he lie about??
Q. MY bf of one year lies to me. Its only small lies like, im going to bed now when he is playing on his playstation and things like im now at work when he isnt. Just silly little things. The other day he lied to my face, even though he knew that i was ...
A. 11 December 2008: Maybe he is a compulsive liar. Maybe that's how he lives his life. That is not good - I would say that's a huge problem. If he lies about small things consistently, he will lie about bigger things that are much more important.
And lying ab... (read in full...)
My g/f has lied to me, left me and I still love her!
Q. I came across this site while searching something regarding rejection. I came across a lady an year back who were good in talking. I was a guy who got burnt due to broken engagement in 2004. the girl also had a burnt past so naturally we came close ...
A. 11 December 2008: Sometimes other people who meddle in our affairs (in this case, your family) cause the demise of a relationship. However, I think when this happens, there are other factors at play as well. If a relationship is strong enough, it will survive ... (read in full...)
Do I accept my husband's wandering eye?
Q. This may sound like a silly question but here goes....Im a 40yr old married woman and mother. My husband and I have been married 20yrs and have 5 great kids. The issue is that everytime we go out my husband is constantly eyeballing women half my ...
A. 11 December 2008: Yes, I agree with the poster previous to me, that women look too...but I think the men look more, and are so busy ogling other women, that they don't notice when we do it! Plus some men have such huge egos, they don't want to notice, and want to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends promise to stop watching beastiality porn is broken and I can't stand it.
Q. Hey there. I'm sure that you got many emails including weird sex questions. Here it is mine: My bf and i are together for a year and live together for 8 months. We had a great relationship until the time i found out that he is watching beastia...
A. 11 December 2008: He probably started with mainstream porn and went from there. He's probably been looking at porn for awhile now. When a person has a sex addiction, they usually have to "up the anty", b/c what used to satisfy them no longer does. So they keep ... (read in full...)
Should I set her free?
Q. Hello, okay, I need some advice on a break up, and what I should do about it. My girlfriend and I have been going out for nearly 3 years now, we started dating when we were 18, and now we are both 21. We've always had an excellent relationship, ...
A. 11 December 2008: There's an old saying and it goes something like this, to the best of my memory...and I've tried to live by it myself when the occasion calls for it:
When you love someone very much, let them go free. If they never return, they were never me... (read in full...)
I don't seem to please her sexually!
Q. Hey guys I need a little help with something you see I met this wonderful girl... she used to be all depressed but now she says that I make her happy. But now all of a sudden we have had sex and I gave her a lot of pleasure but now... She says that ...
A. 8 December 2008: You are both so young! She should not be mocking you - that doesn't help anything. When it comes to sex and lovemaking, both partners need to be sensitive and caring to the other.
Maybe she thought she was ready for sex with you and has discover... (read in full...)
Is my husband's sexual behaviour normal? Is he bi or gay?
Q. I need advice. I am married 11 years now. My husband had stopped kissing me shortly after our marrage. Always has a male friend around Who never dates an never been seen with a woman My husband expermented with me on several occasions with dildos a...
A. 8 December 2008: If I were you I'd certainly be wondering the same thing. My fiance seems to like it when I am in that area, but that is not the same as anal sex for him...I am merely pleasuring his G-spot, as others here have mentioned.
What has me concerne... (read in full...)
How do I get over emotional abuse when he blames me for his depression?
Q. I really really need help. I was with my boyfriend for one month when he slipped into a state of depression - for six months. Almost two weeks ago he claimed to have felt like he 'snapped' out of it and I was hesitant to let myself trust tha...
A. 8 December 2008: He's using the depression excuse to manipulate you...don't fall for it. If he's depressed, so be it, but he has no right to take it out on you like that.
You have to do what you need to do (i.e., see a therapist yourself) so you can heal from thi... (read in full...)
Should I go and clean myself up after sex?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have decided to sleep together and I am a virgin (which he doesn't know) after we have done the deed so to speak, should I go and clean myself or should we just stay together....
A. 8 December 2008: It's nicer and more intimate if you stay together, or shower or bathe together after. We keep what I call "sex towels" in the bedroom...2 clean dry hand towels, 1 for each of us, to wipe off excretions and dab off "wet spots" on the bed! Of ... (read in full...)
I am not the only one who thinks that it is degrading to discuss your sexual experiences with your partner/husband?
Q. Hello everyone! I've got a question for the ladies here: do you tell your partners that you masturbate? What is their attitude? Is this topic off limits? The reason for me asking is oh my gosh here we come - my mother has gone through my thing...
A. 8 December 2008: It all depends on one's level of comfort. Myself, I don't think it's wise to discuss specifics of sexual encounters you've had with other people, nor should your partner give you intimate details of his.
However, I think it's perfectly fine and... (read in full...)
WHY do men cheat on women???
Q. I want to first say a big thanks to all the house members here, I think my problem is really getting to be solved soon.. My girl is now at the point of forgiving me, but still one more thing to get solved, I sent mail that I cheated on my girl, now ...
A. 8 December 2008: From everything I've read, it seems the biggest reason is not actually sex, but rather the man is seeking emotional reassurance. The man will often look outside the relationship if he feels underappreciated, especially if there is another woman ... (read in full...)
Off limits???
Q. Alright, here is my problem. I think i have fallen for this guy. "joe." he is amazing, and seems like everything I've ever wanted in a guy. BUT he has a girlfriend, who is one of my "friends" we arent very close but i've known her for a long time....
A. 8 December 2008: How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot so to speak? In other words, if he were your boyfriend, then the 2 of you broke up and one of your friends then started dating him? How would that make you feel? Even if you're not "close" ... (read in full...)
Because of the lack of communication and history of lies, I'm paranoid every single day.
Q. I want to give up on my husband. I love him so much and can't bear the thought of actually leaving him, but at this point, I'm not sure that I have better options. I met him 3 years ago at work and we hooked up almost right away. About half a year ...
A. 5 December 2008: You are not ruining the relationship...he had already done that by betraying you. It had already been ruined, tarnished. That can be difficult if not impossible to survive.
It does not sound as though he is very sensitive to your feelings... (read in full...)
Suffering over his porn habit...
Q. I know there are many posts here with variations on this theme, but I'm just desperately searching for some insight and haven't yet found a situation similar enough to mine to bring me any comfort. I'm in a 3+ year relationship with a guy that ...
A. 5 December 2008: All the positives cannot take away that one negative. I feel your pain, b/c porn has negatively, very negatively, affected my relationship with my fiance as well. We are still trying to work through that as well as other related issues ... (read in full...)
The porn and the ex have to go! Help!
Q. I love my husband but he thinks it's nomal for him to contact his ex girlfriend after the hell she put us through. He also thinks it's nomal for him to watch porn by himself while he is married he loves double d's for breast and he likes thick hair ...
A. 4 December 2008: No, no, no, no! You are not being too controlling and have every right to give him an ultimatum. I am not clear - when you say ex-gf, did he cheat on you? Or was she before you? Either way, it is NOT acceptable for him to have any communication ... (read in full...)
Can we fall in love more than twice?
Q. Can we fall in love more than twice? I had a first love at 18 that took me years to get over. Then at 22 even though I didn't think it could happen I fell madly in love again. But he broke my heart recently. Now, I'm 24. I had said to my ...
A. 3 December 2008: I know from personal experience (I am now 47) that yes it is possible to fall in love multiple times (I am not sure how many times I've been in love, there have been several times). Like Tellulah, I am still in love with one man in particular from ... (read in full...)
When it all ends...God it hurts...But is there always light in the end of the tunnel?
Q. Hi! I think all of us, men and wemen, got thru the nightmare of ending a relationship, and surviving the weeks and months after. I´ve been trough this twice, and both times I felt I would die! I was the one to break up, for several reasons....
A. 3 December 2008: Yes, we survive, somehow, though at the time we never think we will. I am glad you found happiness again. For me, if I go through a break-up with someone I've loved (or thought I loved), it seems to take the same amount of time to get over it a... (read in full...)
Can a shy man be attractive?
Q. Hello. Do women find good looking articulate loners attractive - albeit strictly those who do not exhibit psychotic tendencies!? Many thanks....
A. 3 December 2008: Well for me it all depends on the reason behind the shyness. I dated a string of men who were boisterous, over-confident, and constantly wanted to be the center of attention, to the point they would hog the conversation and not to listen much to me ... (read in full...)
Poll: What has been your most pleasurable, or most erotic sexual experience and why?
Q. Poll: What has been your most pleasurable, or most erotic sexual experience and why? Details and explanation are encouraged. My hope is that the answers will benefit those looking for ideas in their own respective sex lives. ...
A. 3 December 2008: Being laid out on the hood of the car and gone down on, in broad daylight...yes, the car was parked in the lot behind the house, but we had left a bbq, and anyone could have walked up on us... Being rubbed while sitting on the stairs to the 2n... (read in full...)
Is it okay to lick the vaginal fluids?
Q. hie i love licking the vagina but, is it okay to lick both with the vagina fluids and stuff ?...
A. 3 December 2008: When you say "both" do you mean licking her vagina and licking her anus? It is very easy to transfer bacteria from the anus to the vagina, which will ultimately result in an infection. If you want to do both, you should do the vagina first, then ... (read in full...)
Is "queefing" during sex a turn off?
Q. is it a turn off when a girl "qweefs" (air being pushed out of the vagina making a farting noise) during sex? or what do they think about it??...
A. 3 December 2008: It is not possible to control it, to hold it in, such as you usually can when the air comes out of the rearend! When it happens, I just point to the area and say "you know that was her, don't you!" and then we both laugh together at the noise. It ... (read in full...)
She thinks I only want sex, how can I make things up to her?
Q. My girlfriend use to have a boyfriend who in a way, forced her to do certain sexual activities, I've done those things with her and a lot more and without forcing her into anything. She knows I'm a freak in bed, and as a guy, I'm constantly thinking ...
A. 3 December 2008: Unfortunately, sometimes those we love can push our buttons the most - that's b/c we are closest to them on an emotional level. You know you were teasing, but she took the comment seriously. This subject is a button pusher for her. Those triggers ... (read in full...)
When, where and HOW to propose???
Q. I've been dating a girl for the past year and a half now, we've had time to grow up, fight, cry, laugh and all the other good stuff together and I'm ready to tie the knot but the problem is, I don't know how to do it, do I do it on a holiday with ...
A. 25 November 2008: I got married when I was 19. In hindsight I wish I had waited, b/c though I didn't know it then, I was too young to know yet what it was I really wanted, and though I thought I knew how to have a relationship and how to handle a marriage, in ... (read in full...)
Porn no longer scares me
Q. I have had a breakthrough re porn and I thought it might interest you. My main worry was not understanding what is fantasy and what my partner would like in real life. I found it really hard to talk to him and I was very scared therefore hopeless ...
A. 25 November 2008: I understand exactly what both of you are saying. In the past, I was actually open to porn. I would watch with whomever I was involved with, and even at times be the one to suggest watching it first. It was something we did together ... (read in full...)
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