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... Send *ambini a private message | | | *ambini's profile:For good or for bad, I've had a lot of life experience in a relatively short period of time. For a long time I found it hard to cope with the anger and bitterness, but as I got older I learnt to channel that and I hope to use my experiences to help other people. When i reached out for help I was pushed back and ignored, I want to help ensure that doesn't happen to other people.
My mum taught me some valuable life lessons which I will share with you now:
"If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others to love you?"
"The only man worth crying over is the one who would never make you cry"
"when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel."
"our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we alone are responsible for who we become."
She is a wise woman my mum, so to all of you seeking help, often the answers you seek are already within you, we just help you to realise that. No-one can wave a magic wand, you need to find the strength and courage within yourself in order to change a situation.
Some final words of wisdom for you to bear in mind:
"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." |
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My fantasies, wont somebody support it?
Q. I have lot of fantasies, many wild fantasies, but I enjoy it. I tell this to my wife too and she does not complain. Some of my fantasies involve me with some of my close female relatives. Having a threesome or foursome including me and my wife wit...
A. 17 April 2010: would your wife tell you if she didnt like them? i would hate it personally, fantasies about relatives is disgusting, and fantasies about other women would just make me feel i wasnt good enough. so in conclusion, i wouldnt really think of a guy like ... (read in full...)
Since we moved house my husband seems to have lost his sex drive...
Q. My husband is 25 years old we have always had a great sex life. Recently we up and moved to the other side of the country for his job. About 3 months after moving he totally lost his sex drive! I dont know if it is me or what, we have talked about ...
A. 17 April 2010: a new job is bound to have him worried and stressed, and moving house is pretty stressful too. you two should spend an evening together, go out for a meal, or a nice walk, go to the cinema, whatever you fancy, even stay in and cook a nice candlelit ... (read in full...)
Why was making love this time so intense?
Q. I need a woman's advice here! I was making love with my girlfriend last night and as usual the sex is great, we have been together for 3 years now and we have had lots of fun in and out the bedroom!! but as we were making love we both came together ...
A. 17 April 2010: a womans hormones are a life of their own, even we women dont always understand them!! it may just have been something to do with the timing of her hormonal cycle meant she was particularly emotional that day, or maybe she had just had a ... (read in full...)
Fallen for my BFs wife
Q. I am in need of advice, constructive critisim, and feedback. Please do not tell me how terrible of a person I am. I already know this. I have beat myself up emotionally for years now. I can't get away from these feelings, so here is my story. I be...
A. 15 April 2010: you cant control how you feel but you can control how you act. arguing or not, they are married, they made vows in a church to be faithful to one another, and if their marriage is not working, its up to them to end it, not up to you to interfere and ... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to be more friendly towards family members?
Q. Hi. My husband is very nice to me. But sometimes he gets angry for silly reasons and shouts at me. I sometime feel like getting out of it but it will be impossible. He loves his parents a lot but he never speaks to them he always shout at them. He ...
A. 15 April 2010: you start with the words "my husband is very nice to me" and then you go on to write a whole post about reasons why he isn't nice to you? there are clearly issues here, and he is being lazy, angry and inconsiderate. you either need to get up the ... (read in full...)
How do I explain to her my situation without losing her?
Q. I've been seeing a lovely woman for over two months now and we get along perfectly well and we have a close and intimate relationship. She recently moved to my city (and the country) while I have been here for over a decade. There is a big a...
A. 15 April 2010: how can you expect the relationship to work if you cannot be honest with her? of course she feels neglected and unwanted, with no information to go on, how else is she meant to feel? you need to sit down and talk to her, be honest and tell her about ... (read in full...)
LDR problems--boyfriend says he was happy until he met me!
Q. Hi all, I need some serious advice on how to deal with my boyfriend. We have been in a long-distance relationship since last July. I love my boyfriend dearly and ended a 6-year relationship with someone who loved me very much and treated me like ...
A. 15 April 2010: have you actually read your own post? it is barn door obvious what you need to do, dump him, walk away, find someone else. i am amazed you even needed to ask that question. he is clearly a scumbag, who puts blame on you and takes no responsibility ... (read in full...)
He has a kid with another woman, ...but I love him so much.
Q. *OP's won title* i met a guy some weeks ago, i fell in love with him and he did the same, the thing is that he has a kid with another woman who fortunately happen to get married thats now according to him... i love this guy very much and am even look...
A. 15 April 2010: i dont think you should even be considering marriage with a man who you have known for "some weeks". it takes months and years to build up love and trust, so just relax, enjoy the relationship, and get to know him properly before rushing into ... (read in full...)
15, don't like the life I live, and want a baby
Q. I am 15 years old and want a baby. I do not beleive i am completely ready to have a baby, but what parent is? I have recently moved away from all my family and friends due to my parents divorce. Having parents that were together was really diffacult ...
A. 15 April 2010: 15 is too young to have a baby. however mature and sensible you are, it is too young emotionally. having a child means you have to teach them everything about the world, and how can you do that with virtually no life experience? you cant teach them ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want to dance with other boys if I have a boyfriend?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 months now, we've known each other for 2 years though and were bestfriends untill we decided to start dating, he constantly tells me he's in love with and never wants us be apart, I know we won't last forever. ...
A. 14 April 2010: you should either make a commitment to your boyfriend and not flirt or dance with other guys, or if you know it wont last anyway, then you should avoid hurting him by ending it, and then enjoy being young and single with your friends, but you cant ... (read in full...)
I'm 41..Do I go for this young guy while I am waiting for Mr Right?
Q. Hi All, I am a very young looking 41 year ol woman and last week met a stunning guy of just 27 in a bar whilst I was out with some work colleagues. There was an instant attraction. I was tipsy, and before long we were kissing and flirting. He...
A. 14 April 2010: she is clearly jealous that at 41 you are still attractive and still clearly a turn on to men, jealousy is a very unpleasant trait in a person. she is green eyed with envy that you can go out, have fun, pull men, and get on with your life. just ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant from oral sex?
Q. I recently gave my boyfriend oral sex and he did the same for me, but since then I've been feeling strange. Could I be pregnant?...
A. 14 April 2010: are you being serious?? if you are, you seriously need to grow up. i cannot believe anyone who has such ridiculous misguided views on sex thinks they are old enough or mature enough to be doing any sort of sexual activity. so until you are older and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went nuts after I checked up on him using a fake facebook account. We have split over it, but I want him back!
Q. I have dated this guy for 2 years, and all of a sudden he just changed. He flirts too much on facebook, it was more like i didn't exist at all. Ok, i know i did a bad thing when i created a fake facebook account about a month ago, and jeez, he said ...
A. 14 April 2010: i guess making a fake account and tricking him wasnt the nicest thing to do, however i dont blame you and it certainly gives him no right to turn the tables and get angry at you!! he is clearly a lying cheating scumbag, and you deserve better. it ... (read in full...)
I want to be with someone my own age, but can't afford to leave my older boyfriend.
Q. I been dating my boyfriend off and on for ten years now and have been living together for the last six, not only has there been no mention of marriage, he is also very dull and boring, see he is 41 and I'm 28 and he never wants to do anything or go ...
A. 14 April 2010: whatever this guys faults, he does not deserve to be used and strung along because you are scared/too skint to live alone. you need to grow up and take responsibility for your own life, and maybe that way you can both go your seperate ways and find ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for considering abortion over bringing a child in to an unstable environment?
Q. Well, I been dating a guy for about seven months. I notice that he had several woman friends. I have issue with trusting him. I went by his house and notice a car park in his driveway, next to his. I knocked on the door several times he didnt answer ...
A. 14 April 2010: there is no right or wrong here, you have to do what you feel is right. abortion is a totally subjective thing, and people will always have strong views, however i dont think abortion is anymore cruel than bringing a child into an unstable and bad ... (read in full...)
Why would my ex make up so many hurtful lies about me?
Q. Why would my ex say all this horrible stuff about me? Hey I just found out that after my ex boyfriend broke up with me he was saying these horrible lies about me. We had a good relationship but he ended it when he got back into drugs. He was saying ...
A. 14 April 2010: because he is stupid and insecure and wants to hurt you. simple. by getting upset you are letting him, just ignore it and walk away with your dignity intact,
good luck ... (read in full...)
His mother's coming between us!
Q. i am a divorced lady, i have a son, last year i got engaged to a younger guy, he knew all about me, we were happy for a year until a month back he lost his job and he has to go home. however his mom hen she came to know of our relationship has ...
A. 13 April 2010: if he really has taken his mothers opinion like gospel despite the seriousness of his committment to you then you have had a lucky escape before you married him. there is probably nothing you can do, except talk to him, explain that things have been ... (read in full...)
I'm in love but he's gay.
Q. I dont; know what to do..I have a boyfriend and im in love with him hes my age and everything. But then ever since i joind an acting class i have fallen in love with a guy who is five years older than me! I am obbesedded with this guy! I cant stop ...
A. 13 April 2010: you have to either leave the acting class, or spend some special time with your boyfriend, do something fun together. try to rekindle the fun and excitement and dont let this guy get in the way of your relationship as it is never going to amount to ... (read in full...)
I'm 41..Do I go for this young guy while I am waiting for Mr Right?
Q. Hi All, I am a very young looking 41 year ol woman and last week met a stunning guy of just 27 in a bar whilst I was out with some work colleagues. There was an instant attraction. I was tipsy, and before long we were kissing and flirting. He...
A. 13 April 2010: you should definately enjoy yourself and have fun, who knows when mr right will turn up? just be honest with yourself about the nature of the relationship and that it is just a bit of fun and hopefully you can avoid getting hurt.
best of luck x... (read in full...)
My sister should be with someone better.
Q. I am in love with my wife. She makes me very happy and we have a very good relationship. I have a twin sister. We are fraternal twins not identical. I have been with my wife for a few years now and things have been really good between us. My ...
A. 13 April 2010: people can be innately stubborn and will always see what they want to see. you, your wife, your famly, have all seen him for what he is and one day your sister will too. she may get hurt by him but unfortunately that is a lesson she has to learn for ... (read in full...)
We're both virgins, should he wear one?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 21 years old virgin, have a 22 years old boyfriend who is also a virgin. We have been dating for 2 years now. Right now, both of us are deciding to lose our virgin to each other as we love each other so much. But my problem i...
A. 13 April 2010: if he loves and respects you he will respect your decision to wear a condom. he will not be able to pull out necessarily, and even if he can, men release pre-cum which they CANNOT FEEL so that will go inside you and is enough to get you pregnant. ... (read in full...)
I am having regrets and I want to get even
Q. there is this guy we used to like each other buy wen nothin happened bt us he called me boring to all hid friends and even to my facr which i find to be disrespectful but we woud argue but he would always end up in my face flirting. i foumd out he ...
A. 13 April 2010: revenge is not a good idea, it will make you look like the resentful and obsessed one, you should walk away from this guy with your head held high.
good luck x... (read in full...)
Best friend going abroad.
Q. Belle and I have been best friends for more than 4 years. We have stayed together through ups and downs, joy and sadness... There is nothing I cannot tell her. We are as close as biological sisters. Even though we are at the same age, I consider her ...
A. 13 April 2010: true friends as close as you two sound will always remain close, regardless of distance. however thats not to say the friendship wont change, as she wont be there all the time, she wont be able to hang out with you and phoning might be difficult or ... (read in full...)
Women, what is the difference between the men you welcomed and the ones you rejected?
Q. Ladies, I am a 29 year old man who is trying to get better at meeting women, that is, selecting perfect strangers as candidates for romantic or sexual relationships, and pursuing those relationships. I want to approach a large number of women ...
A. 13 April 2010: you need to stop planning it and analysing it like its a rocket launch. just be yourself, be cheerful, open and friendly but not too pushy and dont invade their personal space. offer to buy her a drink, ask her a question, pay her a compliment, just ... (read in full...)
We're broke up for the last year, but he still wants to hurt my feelings.
Q. i just broke up with my boyfriend for a year, we share a phone line so i texted him and i told him that he needs to disconnect the line, he said he might! then 3 minutes later he sent me a text saying that i look ugly and that his friends used to ...
A. 13 April 2010: because he is an insecure and immature child who cannot accept the fact that you are not crying and begging him to come back. just keep your chin up, your head held high and remember tht you are beautiful, he is just too dumb and conceited to see ... (read in full...)
Has she given up on me?
Q. So me and my ex have been broken up for about 3 months now. We broke up because she didn't like my lifestyle at the time. You can say that I got into the mix with the "wrong crowd". Since the break up, I've totally cut ties with those people, and ...
A. 13 April 2010: not really no, you have done the changing part, and if she wanted to get back together with you then she needed to do so by giving you a clean slate which she hasnt done as she is still judging you by the past. so i dont think it sounds very ... (read in full...)
How do I show how much more I like her than her boyfriend does?
Q. Okay, so my friend calls me the other night around midnight. She's drunk and crying hysterically because she'd recently split with her boyfriend, who she's been on and off with for months now (it's ridiculous, but that's besides the point). I ...
A. 13 April 2010: well for whatever reason she is finding it very hard to cut ties with this guy, however the relationship is clearly doomed, so it is only a matter of time before they split up again. in the meantime you should be there for her and support her as a ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by forcing his ex away?
Q. my boyfriend of ten months is close to his ex who was also his first sex partner. Lately I have seen text messages that were flirty but nothing too much..BUT enough to set me off!! And about a week ago I read a text to her that he sent about a very ...
A. 13 April 2010: I guess there is no textbook right and wrong answer, but i can tell you that i definately would have done the same. in fact i have done in the past. if you allowed him to get away with this, it would only have gone further. good luck x... (read in full...)
Why did he do this ?
Q. We've been dating a year in college long distance and everything has been fine, he loves me, i love him. He's transferring colleges and pledging a fraternity. Since he's decided this, he decided we did not need to be together. i've never been ...
A. 13 April 2010: there is not always a reason for these things, it could be that he is very involved in college and his frat, which means making lots of new friends and has just decided that he doesnt have the time to commit to you as well. it must be very hard for ... (read in full...)
Is it better if he stays in the army or leaves?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend has just returned to army training, after 2 weeks leave. He has been there for 15 weeks before hand. He has to go to training in england which means he is away from home in Northern Ireland. As soon as he got back he said he ...
A. 13 April 2010: i agree with Tiger, joining the army is a massive decision, and if he isnt sure he should take some time out, maybe work as a lifeguard for a year or even longer while he has a think about it some more. you can help him by supporting him and ... (read in full...)
How do I get our old selves and love life back?
Q. Hi all! I need some help and fast! I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years (this new yrs eve coming) and we have a 1 yr old son together. We have been to hell and back together we lost a baby when we 1st got together and we also lost twin g...
A. 13 April 2010: one way might be to book a weekend away together. sometimes a relationship needs some new scenery and a break away from the daily grind for people to rediscover why they fell in love. counselling may be another option, you both have an immense ... (read in full...)
I feel used and cheap
Q. So my boyfriend and I had an argument. And I'm extremely pissed right now. We have been dating for 3 months. Off and on. We have not had sex since wednesday night, well we had sex on sunday (but that doesnt count he says). We got into an argument ...
A. 13 April 2010: you definately deserve better. threats and ultimatums are nasty and cheap. he should want to spend time with you regardless of whether you have sex or not. he is using you and i think you should walk away with your head held high.... (read in full...)
She wants me to introduce her to another guy, ... but I am attracted to her. Should I do it or not?
Q. ok my name is bob Im still in highschool. I really like this girl friend of mine. she doesn't know it. she told me she really likes this guy who happens to be a friend of mine but she doesn't know him but she really wants to. she's asking me to ...
A. 13 April 2010: i think you should be honest with the girl, say to her that you really like her, and the possibility of introducing her to another guy made you realise how much you like her, and that you would really like to spend some time with her/take her out. ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever slept with an ex you were over?
Q. Has anyone ever hooked up with an old ex after they told you they didn't want to sleep with you anymore? As in, you dated someone, then they moved one and said the sex was over but they wanted to be friends (blah blah), you were crushed, etc...then ...
A. 13 April 2010: casual sex with an ex can only work if you are both fully over the relationship and there are no traces of romantic feelings left. if there as then it is very dangerous territory as someone is bound to get hurt. i think its better to look forward ... (read in full...)
Just in case my ex isn't quite over me..
Q. has anyone ever gotten back an ex? How did you do it? I'm trying to win a guy back that moved to another city and didn't want long distance. we are still friendly, but he is dating other people. I'm going to move to his city now for work an...
A. 13 April 2010: you can try to get him back, but the fact he is dating other people means he may have moved on from what you had and sometimes however good it was, people dont want to go back. so i think you need to prepare yourself for this possibility. however if ... (read in full...)
Is 'text only' considered cheating?
Q. is online sex consider as cheating on your husband if its done by only txt chating and no pictures and cam is used, no personal information is shared also ?...
A. 13 April 2010: it isnt physical cheating but it is emotional cheating. i think your husband would be angry and hurt if he found out, which is really what you should be concerned about rather than tecnicalities.
for you to be seeking this online gives the impr... (read in full...)
Trouble sharing the bed!
Q. My boyfriend and I have a ton of trouble sharing a bed. Luckily neither of us snores, but he tosses and turns constantly and wakes me up, which means I get angry and wake him up. Whenever I suggest sleeping separately he gets really offended, plus ...
A. 13 April 2010: i dont think sleeping seperately is a good idea, i can see y he doenst like that one. also you waking him up angry when he tosses and turns isnt really helping anyone either. a memory foam mattress does seem like a very good idea, as his tosing and ... (read in full...)
Do I call him? Or he call me?
Q. Guy asked me to hang out 3 times, i asked him once....can i ask again or is it still his call to ask me? idk how this dating thing works....
A. 13 April 2010: if you want to hang out with him, call him. simple. if he doesnt answer, leave a message and then its his call to return your call. if he doesnt then forget him, if he does then great.... (read in full...)
How can I help to make my sister feel better?
Q. i know that my sister's relationship shouldn't really be anything to do with me, but im worried about her. she has been with her partner over 4 years, they live with eachother and was going to start trying for a baby. thing is her partner loves he...
A. 13 April 2010: i am sorry your sister is going through this, but however drunken and unlike her it is, fact remains that she still cheated. he may have treated her badly - in which case it is probably for the best if they do split up as hopefully she can go on to ... (read in full...)
What if I'm not pregnant?
Q. Hi I missed my period for two weeks so i went and brought 2 pregnancy tests, i took one when i got home, it came up postive really quickly, then i tested the other one the next morning (my first morning urine) and that also came up postive quickly....
A. 13 April 2010: if you have missed your period and have two positive tests then it is almost definate that you are. im sure your doctor will confirm this, just be optimistic as its so unlikely to get two false positives.
best of luck... (read in full...)
Should I end the relationship with a married woman for someone else?
Q. I am in a turmoil mentally. I have been seeing a married woman for just over 2 years now. She still lives with her 9 yr old boy and husband (who does obviously not know about us) but their marriage is now one of convenience after 16 years. She ...
A. 13 April 2010: seriously, i dont mean to be offensive but you need to wake up and see sense. "She says she will leave him but needs to feel strong enough in order to do it". this is the oldest line in the book. if she was going to do it she would have done it by ... (read in full...)
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