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*ambini agony aunt

*ambini

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*ambini's profile:

For good or for bad, I've had a lot of life experience in a relatively short period of time. For a long time I found it hard to cope with the anger and bitterness, but as I got older I learnt to channel that and I hope to use my experiences to help other people. When i reached out for help I was pushed back and ignored, I want to help ensure that doesn't happen to other people.

My mum taught me some valuable life lessons which I will share with you now:

"If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others to love you?"

"The only man worth crying over is the one who would never make you cry"

"when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel."

"our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we alone are responsible for who we become."

She is a wise woman my mum, so to all of you seeking help, often the answers you seek are already within you, we just help you to realise that. No-one can wave a magic wand, you need to find the strength and courage within yourself in order to change a situation.

Some final words of wisdom for you to bear in mind:

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

< Prev123456Next > [6 pages, 181 answers]

Please take the time to read this, I know it is long but it's important to my relationship.

Q.   Please take the time to read this, I know it is long but it's important to my relationship Ok well where do I start... I'm sorry if bits and pieces of this don't make sense, but bear with me, I am writing this as she is leaving the house becaus...

A.   9 July 2007: no one who loved u enuf to marry u wud play stupid mind games like this. i am convinced that if u had suggestive txts or pics on net 4 all 2 c she wud have words 2 say! the fact that it bothers u shows u care, and b4 marriage it is natural to want ... (read in full...)

How can I tell my long distance boyfriend I'm having second thoughts about going to see him in 2 days?

Q.   How can I tell my long distance boyfriend I'm having second thoughts about going to see him in 2 days? I just been having visions of him cheating on me and I don't think I can face him until I get these stupid visions out my head. We haven't seen ...

A.   9 July 2007: i think u shud go to see him, long distance relationships r hard, n they take work. when u c him it will b easier 2 judge how u feel and if u have insecurities u shud talk them thru with him as, especially in a long distance realtionship, ... (read in full...)

I am dating a girl and I am crazy on her, only thing is she's dating someone else at the same time until she can decide who she wants to be with.

Q.   I've been dealing with a problem for quite some time now and all the advice I've been getting is unacceptable to me (no offence). So basically I've been secretely dating a girl for the last 5 months or so and I love her more than words can express. ...

A.   9 July 2007: To be honest i think this girl likes the attention she gets from havin 2 guys fight over her. she has no intention of leaving the other guy n sayin her parents r forcing her is just an excuse, and the fact u sed that advice has not been acceptable ... (read in full...)

Why is it so hard for me ( a girl) to keep female friends?

Q.   Why is it so hard for me (a girl) to keep female friends? I seem to be able to have close bonds with men, but not with women. I do have girl friends but they never seem to last for very long. Is this common? I just don't know what I'm doing ...

A.   9 July 2007: to be honest i am the same, i find it difficult to maintain female friends, i think this may be because they take a lot more work than relationships with males, and also i dont like girls wen they r in a group n they bitch n whinge, i find lads much ... (read in full...)

He wants to take us to the next level by having me meet his parents! I'm scared! What do I do?

Q.   hi thanks for your advice and it helped a lot, my boyfriend wants to take our relationship to the next level, he wants me to meet the parents, i'm scared what do i do? i've been putting him off for so long is this guy serious about us?...

A.   9 July 2007: yeh he seems serious, dont c y else he wud want you to meet the parents. meetin the parents is really not that bad lol, just be yourself, if he loves u 4 who u r then they will c that n im sure they will love u 2. good luck x x ... (read in full...)

He wrote a love letter to his ex, told a friend he wished he could see her "hot friend," and more! I'm jealous and insecure - am I overreacting?

Q.   Please help . . . I have been in my relationship for a year and my boyfriend continued to write to his ex girlfriend in Germany. I found one letter (it was not hidden) and it was basically confessing his undying love for her (he has not done tha...

A.   9 July 2007: not at all. to b honest he is lucky uv stuck around this long, n def duznt deserve to still be with u. i dont want to hurt u feelings at all but it does appear like he is with you, but still has his eyes open for other availabilities. so far it has ... (read in full...)

My twin brother's female friend is staying with us for a week and I think my gf is jealous! Her attitude and constant questioning is hurting our relationship!

Q.   Im a little confused with my girlfriends behaviour. At the moment my twin brother has a french friend (Girl) over to stay for just over a week and I can quite clearly see my girlfriend is not at all happy or a bit jelous. She has been acting more ...

A.   9 July 2007: she sounds like she is very insecure n clingy. u shud try to explain 2 her that you do love her, n her insecurities make u feel like she is the one doubting the relationship. also explain how it makes u feel and say that her paranoia and silly ... (read in full...)

Can you get diseases such as any sexually transmitted disease by sharing body soap?

Q.   Can you get diseases such as any sexually transmitted disease by sharing body soap?...

A.   9 July 2007: nope, u cant. stuff such as hiv is impossible to catch this way or through kissing even. exchange of saliva is not enuf 4 u to catch it. also the HIV virus only stays alive 7 seconds, n i doubt the last person would hav left the bathroom, n u be in, ... (read in full...)

What can I do to let him know that he isn't getting her back and that I'm in charge!!!

Q.   My girlfriend went out with this guy and now I think he wants her back. Me and her have been going out about 4 months and she doesn't want him back but what can I do to let him know that he isn't getting her back and that I'm in charge.. thanks ...

A.   9 July 2007: to be honest with you, i think it wud b even more direct if it came from ur gf, as thts the person he is interested in. but the fact that she is with u n not him, n has been for 4 months with no intention of wanting him back should be enuf 4 u 2 c ... (read in full...)

Do you think this is a sign that I could possibly be pregnant?

Q.   Me and my fiance have been together for about a year and a month now, were getting married in two months. I've known him for over two years now and all is well but we want a child even thow we're young, were not as young as some couples with ...

A.   9 July 2007: 22 is not too young at all, age (to an extent) is by far not the most important factor. i know women of 18 who make fantastic parents, I also know women of 30 who make bad parents so it is all to do with the time and love u are willing to give. if ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants me to get rid of all my stuff before she moves in--help!

Q.   I need help with this problem. My girlfriend is moving in with me and she is telling me one way or another to get rid of all my home contents left from my last marriage. That means all furniture from the bedroom, TV room, all the kitchen contents...

A.   24 June 2007: if ur gf is movin into ur house then she must respect your things. those items represent ur life n everything u have worked for and it would be unrealistic to expect u to part with those on her demand. this controlling nature is indicative of ... (read in full...)

Should I go with my lover or my husband?

Q.   i'm really confused. i've been married for 6 months. we met 2 years ago. everything was fine before. he's a sweet man who i'm sure loves me. but i just don't care about him anymore. i cheated on him about a month ago with my co-worker. i'm having so ...

A.   17 June 2007: you are only in your 20's and in your second marriage. this sould surely tell you that you are not ready for the commitment of marriage. I think you should leave your husband because no-one deserves to be lied to, especially as you said yourself he ... (read in full...)

If he loved her, wouldn't he do anything for her?

Q.   If a man really loved a married woman but they split up because she felt she had to,wouldn't wild horses not keep him away and he would try to get her back,even though she is married to someone else,like he knows her address but she has changed her ...

A.   17 June 2007: I agree with previous posts, if she split with him then changed her number I think it would be unfair to expect him to hang around fighting to get her back when she has made it so clear. this guy has obviously decided that he needs to move on and ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants to go away with me this summer but I have a very important course to take in September and need to study!! What should I do?

Q.   Holiday Blues Each year my girlfriend and i have been together we have gone on holiday, however this year i am going to be taking a very important medical course in september but my g/f still wants to go away even for a week in august. Ive told...

A.   17 June 2007: Maybe you should try to compromise, maybe rather than go for a week, just go for a long weekend somewhere. I understand your need to study but at the same time you need a rest too, and a few days wont hurt but will be enough to show your gf that you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is going on holiday with 3 female friends and it bothers me!

Q.   I am in a relationship over 2 years now. Because of our belief, we don't have sex and don't sleep together in the same room, only if we go somewhere over night with friends. Now my boyfriend wants to go on holiday with 3 of his friends of his works ...

A.   31 May 2007: to be totally honest with u i am amazed at ur patience as i wud be so angry at him if i was in your position. in my opinion this is totally outrageous!! after two years he disrespects ur feelings, AND misses ur birthday in the process! he wont sleep ... (read in full...)

I confronted her about cheating on me and now she's ignoring me.

Q.   Here's the story. I got an email from someone saying that my girlfriend of a year cheated on me. They told me to look at her myspace inbox in september and it would be there. This is what it said: Guy: I hope that we can still be friends aft...

A.   31 May 2007: this is difficult bcoz on one hand this girl cud b takin u for one immensely spectacular ride. u c if she has cheated, not only has she dun that, but she has also managed to turn the situation round to make u feel like the guilty one! so she ... (read in full...)

This guy told me if I kept skipping school he wouldn't talk to me anymore! Why does he care??

Q.   Am 15 years old and I was talking to a 17 year old guy.Well sometimes I skip school with my friends.I would never tell the guy that i was talking to that I skipped but my friends talk to him and they would tell him everything.Well one day he erased ...

A.   31 May 2007: skippin school is never a good plan, and you will more than likely end up regretting it a few years down the line. This guy obviously has the sense (or maybe even the hindsight/experience) to realise this and cares about you so is tryign 2 do you a ... (read in full...)

I asked her out and she said she'd tell me the next day. It this her way of politely saying no?

Q.   i asked out this girl i really like to go catch a movie with me. she asked me questions about when i wanna go, and if we're goin alone etc. she said she'll tell me the next day coz she might be busy. i cant help think that's a excuse or nice ...

A.   29 May 2007: she could genuinely just need to think about it. if she didnt like u she prob wud have sed no straight away. just make sure she duznt feel pressured, just say it cud b fun, n ul even fork out n buy the popcorn :P good luck... (read in full...)

Is it right to spend time with the opposite sex when you're with someone else?

Q.   Is it right to spend time with the opposite sex when are you in a relationship with someone else?...

A.   29 May 2007: it depends it what context i guess. i have a bf, but i also have some very gd male friends who i have been friends with for many years and i would not give up that friendship. i think it depends on ur motives 4 wantin to spend time with other ... (read in full...)

Cheating on my bulimic depressed wife! I want to move on but I miss my children! What do I do?

Q.   Hi, I am stuck. I have a bulimic, depressed wife of 13 years and 4 kids under 12. I have wanted to leave her badly as I have become so frustrated over the years, but the kids and her need me. Now I have slipped into another relationship with a ...

A.   28 May 2007:  I hate to say it as as a depressed bulimic myself i obviously feel immense sympathy towards your wife, however we are each only blessed with one shot at life, n therefore no1 shud stay in an unhappy relationship if there is no chance of workin i... (read in full...)

I can't just stop liking him. He's so perfect... one in a million. What do you think I should do?!?

Q.   Ummm well my sister has this friend Ray. And I really like him. Majorly. Everything he does is completely awesome. But he is probably the least liked guy at my school, simply because of the way he dresses. He doesn't really care about that and ...

A.   28 May 2007: i think u shud make an effort to talk to him, maybe even tlk 2 ur sister as she may be able to help. however i do not think u shud stay at ur school as u will b cuttin off ur own opportunities on a whim. go to college but try 2 get to know this guy ... (read in full...)

Help..I'm pregnant. What can I do?

Q.   ok so i've asked alot of ? about me and my bf about french kissing, sex, etc. but i didn't listen to anybody cuz I'M PREGNANT!!! i ain't told my mom cuz she'll litterally kill me well when i went to wal-mart i found and took a pregnant test thing, ...

A.   27 May 2007: im not judging u at all, but if u r mature enuf 2 have sex then u have 2 b mature enuf 2 face the consequences. this means talking to your parents and deciding what u want to do. u r still just a baby urself and a baby is a life long commitment. wen ... (read in full...)

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