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Best friend going abroad.

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 April 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 April 2010)
A female age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Belle and I have been best friends for more than 4 years. We have stayed together through ups and downs, joy and sadness... There is nothing I cannot tell her. We are as close as biological sisters. Even though we are at the same age, I consider her my big sister and I'm her little one because she is a lot more mature than I. Her advice is the first thing I want to hear when confronting difficulties. Sometimes we jokingly say that we are alike Miley and Lily on Hannah Montana show, inseparable. I have found my true friend, a lasting friendship that I never want to lose.

Recently, she got admitted to a college abroad, a low rank one. She has to contribute a large amount of money, becomes financial burden to family. She asks me for advice if she should go or continue study here.

If for the low ranking and financial matters, I think I would not go if I were her. But going abroad will certainly bring her more chances to experience good environment... then it is a good reason to go.

However, I feel guilty that maybe the main reason I want her to stay is that I need her by my side. She is my only best friend, the only I can count on, call in the middle of the night or hang out freely with... I can't imagine my life will be without her. I already miss her now. Ofcourse, I will respect her choice and wish her all the best. But I know for sure, I'm gonna miss her very much and be very lonely. Thinking of that even makes me scared and want to cry now...

I know there is nothing I can do. The decision is hers to make. I just want to share my feeling here and maybe receive some consolation from you , warm-hearted people out there reading my story... Have you ever experienced the same feeling as mine? How is your friendship now? Is it true that out of sight, out of mind?

Thank you for reading :-)

View related questions: best friend, money

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hello,

My friend decided to stay, which made me extremely happy. But in the last minute, yesterday actually, she and her mom decided that it may be best for her to take a risk and go abroad. Now it is 99% sure that she will go and my fear of being alone will come true.

What do you suggest me to do now? Persuade her to stay? Stay away from her these last days so I can get used to being on my own? Or should I spend more time with her? What present should I give her when she leaves?

I'm sad and confused :-(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you, ohemgee and rambini for giving me adivice. I feel warm now :-)

We will sit down, weigh the pros and cons together and no matter what decision she makes, I will approve her.

I will keep my story updated.

Cheers,

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A female reader, rambini United Kingdom +, writes (13 April 2010):

rambini agony aunttrue friends as close as you two sound will always remain close, regardless of distance. however thats not to say the friendship wont change, as she wont be there all the time, she wont be able to hang out with you and phoning might be difficult or expensive. however her future is the most important thing, and she has to make the right decision for her. the best thing you can do is be honest with her, when she asks for your advice, say to her i cant really answer becuase i am worried i will give you biased advice, but i think you should weigh up the pros and cons and make an informed decision.

best of luck whatever happens x

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A female reader, ohemgee United Kingdom +, writes (13 April 2010):

Aww, I wish I could give you a hug right now. I've been there, I can definitely relate. Losing your best friend to another country...you must feel scared, think: How am I going to go on without her? I'm going to miss her so much.

But let me tell you something: You two are inseparable. Distance will not change that. If you make an effort to stay in contact and keep talking, and visit whenever possible, your friendship will make it through intact.

I'd say sit her down and ask to discuss her choices. See how she feels. Maybe let her know you're a little scared about her going away but that you love her and will respect any decision she makes. Good luck, keep strong! You two will make it. True friendship always pulls through.

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