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... Send *acdubh712 a private message | | | *acdubh712's profile:Helping people has always been something I felt compelled to do. I was a Police Officer for a few years and now I am doing something else that does not allow me to help people as much as when I was the "Pole-eece." However, my job now has also given me even more experience weeding out dishonesty than when I was a Police Officer; this also adds a unique perspective on people and "peopleisms."
This site suggests writing something in this part that explains why you are qualified to help people. Well, I would say there are a few reasons. One, I was a Police Officer and was not the type to just show up on a call to do the bare minimum. Cops can wear many different hats, even on the same call or in the same situation so having to do this multi-role job gave me a unique perspective on life's good and bad situations.
Also, when I was growing up I was picked on for a time, mainly because of my weight...that is until I stopped taking it. You know boys will be boys, get into a fight or two and the picking stops. I know how dangerous it can be to fight nowadays, but you don't have to physically fight to fight. We have to fight for our self respect sometimes because there are sometimes when, even though we respect ourselves others still won't. This is unacceptable if YOU respect yourself and others around you but you do not get this respect in return. Anyhow, havving been picked on as a child allows me to sympathize with people going through this same ordeal.
My last qualification is this: in my early 20's I made some poor choices in my life and these choices not only affected me but they also affected my loved ones. Some of these choices put a wedge between my parents and me and this rift with my parents actually caused tension in the early part of my marriage. I have been blessed enough that this rift is about 95% recovered. So, in short, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks.
My responses are often blunt and for that I do not apologize. If a question is asked it needs to be answered very honestly because you have to face whatever problem is there or it will not go away. |
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My sister just walked in on me wanking & I think I'm going to die of embarrassment!!!
Q. Well no easy way to ask this so i'm just gonna blurt it out. My sister just walked in on me wanking and i think i'm going to die from embrassment. This is so much worse than i could imagine. What do i do? Do i say anything to her? Or do i treat it ...
A. 16 April 2011: Dude, if your sis said something like that to her friends, I would consider that a betrayal. She is your sister so she should not tell anyone. ... (read in full...)
My parents are asking me to break up with my BF because he isn't white...
Q. Hi, i need help with something. I'm 13 years old. i have a boyfriend thats 15. My boyfriend is black and im white. he isnt that dark he is light skin. He came to my house to meet my parents ( he wants to meet my family n all my friends). When he ...
A. 16 April 2011: This is a sticky situation and I can see why no one has responded yet; the underlying issue of your predicament is still a very touchy subject even among adults. In fact, many times, issues like these end up being the "big pink elephant" in the ... (read in full...)
My sister just walked in on me wanking & I think I'm going to die of embarrassment!!!
Q. Well no easy way to ask this so i'm just gonna blurt it out. My sister just walked in on me wanking and i think i'm going to die from embrassment. This is so much worse than i could imagine. What do i do? Do i say anything to her? Or do i treat it ...
A. 16 April 2011: Everyone's right, it will pass soon and she shouldn't say anything. You want some security? Pray you find some dirt on sis and she knows it; then she FO SHO won't say anything. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and BF doesn't want the baby right now. What do I do?
Q. I am only 21 and at Uni Bf still has a year or so to go till he finishes. I have just found out im pregnant and wasnt sure whether to keep it but decided to. I thought It wouldnt be easy but possible. Bf has told me he doesnt want kids... not yet ...
A. 16 April 2011: I'm sorry to hear this. I hope you can find someone to take you. Do you have taxi service in your area? As for him, think about what has happened here, about what he has done. You know this is lower than whale shit, right? I hope you really ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with this man who I met online, as I've fallen for his personality, but I'm completely repulsed by him physically!!
Q. okay so this is a bit of a weird one. i met this guy on the internet and we quickly became close. for almost 2 years we chatted online every night until the early hours of the morning, and on the phone, texting ect. We've met up a couple of times...
A. 15 April 2011: Wow....this is a tough one but I have to say you said it yourself: "But there has to be some attraction..." This is the bottom line of your situation and apparently it is lacking in nature. Let me ask, is there room for improvement at a... (read in full...)
I cant make him climax! Help!
Q. Hey everyone, this is a little embarassing, but i have no one else to ask! Im in a relationship with an older guy, i lost my virginity to him, and i cant make him climax. Its so frustrating. He gets hard really quickly and says that im really good ...
A. 15 April 2011: I think trancedrhythmear is correct, it is probably in his head. Once upon a time I had this issue. Not long after I let the pressure go I had my first orgasm during intercourse. This is where chigirl's advice comes in: be patient with him. It's ... (read in full...)
I am cheating on my wife, my lover has a boyfriend who cheats on her, and my lover is cheating on her boyfriend with me! What should I do about this mess?
Q. i am 34year old married man and she is 22 yrs god knows how but 3 years ago i very deeply fell in love with this girl and she was the one who proposed me that time even after knowing that i was married. i agreed and we were deeply involved, used to ...
A. 15 April 2011: Son, you need to do two things: re-discover your morals and have your testicles re-attached. When you do these two things this situation will fix itself. ... (read in full...)
Caught her in contact, again. Should I give her another chance? I miss her and her little girl a lot.
Q. Ill try keep this short. Ive caught my Gf of almost 3 years, in contact with another guy. This is the 2nd time. The 1st time was just over a year ago. Both of them work colleagues. Nothing physical happened in both instances. I had been watching her ...
A. 15 April 2011: Lookie here brother, I am tempted to tell you to forget about her, that you were right to walk out on her because of this debacle. To cut to the chase, you are right. You DO NOT deserve this type of treatment. However, I am also all for giv... (read in full...)
How do I avoid men who are only after one nighters and find someone who wants a serious relationship?
Q. My problem is this, I have been trying for over a year to find a bf im over being single but i only seem able to find men that only want one night stands. Sometimes i think i've found a potential one but they end up not interested in somethi...
A. 15 April 2011: I have to ask where you are meeting these blokes at? If you say it is while you are partying or something then that might be the problem. If alcohol is involved you will most likely not be successful with this endeavor. As I just put in another ... (read in full...)
What do I change? hurt and resentment is building. Our last argument was terrible.
Q. I feel afraid to have sex with my boyfriend. We were so close, but he began neglecting me emotionally, affectionatly, and sexually. It got to the point where we would have sex once or twice a month and it often fekt strained, as though he were doing ...
A. 15 April 2011: "If I turn him down tonight and tomorrow, he's going to know somethings really wrong, as I never turn him down, its always the other way around. Perhaps it would be good if this carries on, perhaps it will force us to deal with some issues, if he ... (read in full...)
I'm angry, confused and hurt at the way my ex is treating me.
Q. I have been on here so many times with my marriage separation, here I am again needing your help, I have two gentlemen who have emailed me, to take me out somehow my ex got a hold of the emails and emailed them back telling them I was not ...
A. 15 April 2011: Honestly, Cegana, that's what I figured. Listen, what I am about to say, please don't take offense to it but I'm all about giving people the real deal when it comes to advice.
You are allowing this man to control you through your emotions... (read in full...)
Help!! My boyfriend thinks I cheated and I haven't.
Q. Please help. I've been with my boyfriend for about five years now and we got into an argument a few nights ago because he thinks I've cheated on him. About four years ago I hung out with one of my boyfriends friends. I had a few drinks with this ...
A. 15 April 2011: It is rather unsettling to receive an e-mail out of the blue from someone saying that they are sorry they slept with your girlfriend. On the other hand, your boyfriend needs to realize that this e-mail is in fact so random that it's bulls***. Why, ... (read in full...)
Is my wife done with me? Or is having sex just once every 5-6 months normal?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 6 years and we have a 2 year old. We use to have sex quite often, but not anymore. I know that things change when you have a kid, but we used to have sex 5 times a week, now it's once every 5-6 months if we are ...
A. 15 April 2011: It sounds to me like some sort of depression. Depression can numb your emotions. But, have you noticed any other signs? Like, does she get strange phone calls or does she go out with her friends a little too often? You have to keep the worst in ... (read in full...)
What is this that we have between us?
Q. I met this guy who is 10 years younger than I. We have a good relationship. I consider him a friend and he often asked my advice on decisions he's thinking abt making. We have been intimate. But the last few times we have been together. We did ...
A. 15 April 2011: Look, you are both hurt from past relationships and have hangups because of it so there is no need to rush into anything. From what you described I really think that you two will be fine and I really think some honest discussions about your ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and BF doesn't want the baby right now. What do I do?
Q. I am only 21 and at Uni Bf still has a year or so to go till he finishes. I have just found out im pregnant and wasnt sure whether to keep it but decided to. I thought It wouldnt be easy but possible. Bf has told me he doesnt want kids... not yet ...
A. 15 April 2011: Lookie here, if he apologized, is sincere, and really tries to validate this through his actions then sure, I'm all for giving him another chance. I believe that people are faced with situations that makes them feel helpless, hopeless, and afraid ... (read in full...)
I'm angry, confused and hurt at the way my ex is treating me.
Q. I have been on here so many times with my marriage separation, here I am again needing your help, I have two gentlemen who have emailed me, to take me out somehow my ex got a hold of the emails and emailed them back telling them I was not ...
A. 15 April 2011: No, I don't think he wants you. But, if you truly don't want him back, why does it matter if he does want you back? ... (read in full...)
After a month of ignoring me, now boyfriend is attentive to me in my pregnancy. Why?
Q. I am at a state of confusion . I am 23 weeks pregnant on bedrest . The baby's father broke up with me a month ago and I hear from him rarely until recently . I was sent to the the hospital for possible term labor ( false alarm) mutal friends ...
A. 14 April 2011: Well Dear, I think perhaps he got a little scared about the baby. You said he is 35 and this is his first child, right? If the baby wasn't planned then I think he just go scared and freaked out. I would take it slow with him but if you give it a ... (read in full...)
I don't see my boyfriend as much and I'm horny all the time!
Q. i dont know whats wrong with me, i dont know if it beacuse i dont do much or work much but im horny all the time. i masturbate about 5 or 6 times a day but straight after feel horny again. i use to see my bf most day and use to have sex about 4-6 ...
A. 14 April 2011: Does he work close by? Go give him a lunch time delight; the taboo nature of this will probably do a lot for the both of you! And yes, you should get a job to occupy some of your time. It will help. ... (read in full...)
My b/f cannot orgasm during sex
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a few months and we're blissfully happy together; we're in love. There's just one problem. My wonderful guy cannot orgasm when we have sex. It's something he has never done even with previous girlfriends, so I am ...
A. 14 April 2011: I had the same problem for a while. While he might actually have a medical condition and it probably should at least ruled out by a doctor, I think perhaps it might be that he is too used to himself. I had this problem for a little while. ... (read in full...)
What kind of a man am I seeing?
Q. So,I am meeting this guy half a year. We re meeting once in 10 - 14 days. I am wondering what kind of man he is, (he is over 40) when he does something wrong to me, like I got sexually tr. desease, but very easy one, I told him, its from him, he ...
A. 14 April 2011: Darlin', you have to realize what you are worth as a person. You are probably a good person and I can tell from what you said on here he is NOT a good person. He is playing you like a fiddle. DON'T STAND FOR IT. Do not allow this man to walk all ... (read in full...)
GF went through my messages from before I was with her. She has lost trust and respect for me
Q. Hi there, Ive been with my girlfriend for four months but seeing each other for about 6 and it is an extremely strong relationship where we are already talking about a future together. The problem is, she went through my messages on facebook from ...
A. 14 April 2011: Sure, perhaps you shouldn't have played up your image quite as much. HOWEVER, she really needs to chill out. What your GF has to understand is this: Those messages were from before you two were together and it sounds like since you got with her ... (read in full...)
Advice on dieting and losing weight?
Q. Hey, Well im 14 and im quite fat. ive had some serious issues with wieght and my looks in the past i have been bullied because of them and alot of the time ive been made to feel like im the one who just doesnt fit in. ive develope...
A. 14 April 2011: You said your town is small and it is hard avoid people. This may sound kind of dumb, and you might feel embarassed by doing it, but you like music, right? I thought so; who doesn't? You want to know how to get moving but are concerned about ... (read in full...)
I'm angry, confused and hurt at the way my ex is treating me.
Q. I have been on here so many times with my marriage separation, here I am again needing your help, I have two gentlemen who have emailed me, to take me out somehow my ex got a hold of the emails and emailed them back telling them I was not ...
A. 14 April 2011: You sound like a very nice lady so forgive me if I am a little frank. Judging by the last few sentences of your posting, it sounds as if you might be living backwards. You miss what he was but he is not that man anymore. He is going through a ... (read in full...)
Do you believe in full disclosure?
Q. This issue is really about how much someone should really share with their bf/gf. I'm not trying to be secretive for the sake of it. My boyfriend and I have had very, very different lives. His has been very normal and he hasn't gone through man...
A. 14 April 2011: I think you should tell him in no uncertain terms that you will tell him things as you feel comfortable. Tell him that his questioning opens old wounds and thus pushing you into a depression again. Tell him your boundaries and demand that he ... (read in full...)
My wife is an escort. What does she mean by this?
Q. last september i posted a question about my wife working as an escort and received very helpful answers. we decided she should continue escorting as she wanted and everything has been pretty good so far. she is very much the typical affectionate ...
A. 14 April 2011: jaylee33 is right. kick this girl to the curb because she is has chosen her profession above you. You really want to be part of this? I would not. I'll be damned to hell if I would put up with this. This is NOT normal behavior. ... (read in full...)
He's a wonderful man, and loves me very much, but I've been faking it for four years. Help!
Q. I have a problem where I am not sexually attracted to my man... he is a very handsome man, very romantic, loving, respectful... he's the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. I often listen to woman who are just wishing for a man like I have. He is ...
A. 14 April 2011: Have you thought about WHY you are not attracted to him? There must be a reason and perhaps it is something deep down, something that may not be at the forefront. There is a reason why you are not attracted to him and you need to figure out what ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me. I thought I was just trying to make her feel appreciated. What do I do now?
Q. Dear Cupid, At first, sorry for long message. I was with a girl for a couple of months, however we knew each for a long time. I messed up.. even tough i wanted to behave good, deep inside myself I am probably very self-centered. Whenever i w...
A. 14 April 2011: Lookie here, I'm not sure why you two broke up but, the reason you two broke up aside, it sounds like there is a lack of communication between you two. I could be wrong; perhaps you two have discussed everything. If you have not done so, you need ... (read in full...)
How do I get my parents to believe I am who I am and don't want to be like them?
Q. This is a question about my mother....PLEASE READ!! Ok so Ive dealt with years of mental and physical abuse from my mum, she always tells me im worthless, no-one will love me, in useless, I'll never amount to anyone, I should just die already and ...
A. 14 April 2011: Sure, she is your mother. However, I feel like you are doing the right thing to do what you want to do. Living "abroad" is a good thing. I am doing it now. You can learn a lot about yourself in doing so and you get a different perspective on ... (read in full...)
Does she just come to see me because she is bored and lonely? Should I trust her again?
Q. i need some suggestions. i posted this question a couple of days ago but i didnt get any replies so i thought id give it another shot... this could be pretty long but ill try to keep it the shortest i can. my ex girl and i dated a couple of year...
A. 14 April 2011: Only you are actually seeing what is happening when you interact with her, but I'll give it a shot. You dated this girl for a couple of years and broke up but still continued doing the "Don Juan." You found out recently that she cheated on y... (read in full...)
What can I take or do to reduce the size of my breasts?
Q. Hi cupid friend! I will really appreciate if you all can find the solution to my problem and it goes... There is this guy i love and he really love me too, but the problem is that he complain how big my breast is. Please help me, what should i take ...
A. 14 April 2011: This is what I say. Do YOU like YOUR breasts? If YOU like them, they are YOUR breasts, not his. If he does not like YOUR breasts he can piss off. Now, there are breast reduction surgeries available (I'm not sure about Nigeria) but you... (read in full...)
I put up a fake profile to monitor my son, but now I've fallen in love and don't know how to get out of it.
Q. I set up a social networkng acct only to keep an eye on my son. Since I was only there for that purpose I put in all wrong info and a pic that was not me. Age 20 years younger. Different state etc. The problem is that I accepted a friend request ...
A. 14 April 2011: Isn't this a daisy? To properly answer your question I will need to ask some of my own as I feel that there are a few holes here. One, what level is this relationship on? Are you two just chatting over the internet? Over the phone? Where are ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend liked sex with her ex better because he was "larger". How do a I deal with this?
Q. I know a lot of people on this board are tired of the never-ending penis size questions, but please bear with me. The answers to most questions are "it's how you use it" and "women don't care about size", etc. But, what if you're in a situation ...
A. 14 April 2011: Well pal, this is where us men have to get a can of man and realize that our piece of equipment is one that came without a return/exchange policy. You also have to realize that she is with you, you treat her well, and she comes home to you. Yo... (read in full...)
B/f was lying to me and meeting a girl
Q. I can't stop feeling jealous when my boyfriend speaks to other girls. I've been with him for over a year now and although I don't like to throw the word love around I'm happy to say I don't want to be leaving him for a very long time :) The problem ...
A. 14 April 2011: If he is lying to you to meet girls then you cannot trust him right now and the likelihood that he will change is not good. You are 16 - 17 so I am assuming that he is around the same age. Being a guy myself I'd say that being faithful is probably ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid being monogamous will make me feel sexually repressed
Q. I am in a relationship with the best possible guy i could be matched for. We are now also doing bible study and im connecting to myself spiritually. But im noticing my fear of my need of wanting to be intimately involved with other men. I used to be ...
A. 14 April 2011: I will say this, and people can debate about religion all day. That's not what I'm here to do. I'm here to answer your question and I will give my answer, razor sharp. If you feel the need to be with other men sexually and emotionally then... (read in full...)
How do I end my affair?
Q. hi all, I am woman of 25 in a extramarital relation. I want to end this. please suggest me some way that I can be out of this. my husband will be heart broken and may be angry, if he finds this out. in fact I love this extra thing, but still I want...
A. 14 April 2011: Well, you should tell him that it is wrong what you two are doing and that it must stop. What were you thinking getting involved with your bro-in-law? Is this your husband's brother? This could rip apart two different families if it is ... (read in full...)
Is he stringing me along?
Q. My boyfriend was previously in an 10 year relationship whereby he had two kids with her. We’ve been together for 15 months. He and his ex girlfriend split up 7 months before we met. He has said that he loves me and we spend 98% of our time tog...
A. 14 April 2011: blone30s is right. Lookie here, you say that you have jealousy issues because of the history that your BF and his ex have. I can understand the feelings, sure, but you're going to have to find a way to get past this. If you can't then you ... (read in full...)
How do I pick up some clues to see if he is interested in me?
Q. hey guys... im crushing on a guy i work with , hes awesome but im not sure his status cos hes new :) the thing is im really shy and really dont want to make an idiot out of myself if hes not interested so im just wanting some clues on how to ...
A. 14 April 2011: Just from what you said, that he nicknamed you Princess and is always asking for your help with things, on that alone I would say it sounds promising. However, it is still a little unclear; does he have the option to ask others for help but only ... (read in full...)
I'm almost 28, still never had an official relationship, obsessing over a loser I once dated briefly. I'm getting closer and closer to becoming that crazy cat lady!
Q. Ok, here's the gist: I dated a guy for 9 months, but it wasn't ever serious. Then he moved away and that was that, and this was almost 2 years ago! We have remained in contact and I saw him twice after he left, and we hooked up both times. It'...
A. 14 April 2011: I second CUPIDUS' posting...she's no nonsense, aye? ... (read in full...)
What is this that we have between us?
Q. I met this guy who is 10 years younger than I. We have a good relationship. I consider him a friend and he often asked my advice on decisions he's thinking abt making. We have been intimate. But the last few times we have been together. We did ...
A. 14 April 2011: I feel like you two have an attraction with each other that could be something good. However, you're right, perhaps it is too soon to start a relationship. If you care for each other and you feel like you might want to be with him then perhaps you ... (read in full...)
Advice on dieting and losing weight?
Q. Hey, Well im 14 and im quite fat. ive had some serious issues with wieght and my looks in the past i have been bullied because of them and alot of the time ive been made to feel like im the one who just doesnt fit in. ive develope...
A. 14 April 2011: Well hello. You know, I had sort of the same problem when I was in high school. My sophomore year I was almost 300 pounds. In the spring I began to try to run everyday. It was only a little bit. Maybe 20 seconds at a time at the local walking ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and BF doesn't want the baby right now. What do I do?
Q. I am only 21 and at Uni Bf still has a year or so to go till he finishes. I have just found out im pregnant and wasnt sure whether to keep it but decided to. I thought It wouldnt be easy but possible. Bf has told me he doesnt want kids... not yet ...
A. 14 April 2011: I'm sorry but I can't resist on this one. This BF of your's is, and please forgive me, a f***in' a**hole. He did not want to wrap up his peter AND he came inside of you, but it is your fault because you two are in this situation????? I know you ... (read in full...)
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