A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey, Well im 14 and im quite fat. ive had some serious issues with wieght and my looks in the past i have been bullied because of them and alot of the time ive been made to feel like im the one who just doesnt fit in. ive developed severe depression but things are getting better and im finally learning how to deal with it :) i no longer go to school( im now hometutored)as i finally managed to realize what people were and werent my friends. I know im not really really fat but im stil fat and i think i would feel better in myself if i lost the weight. Ive realized that im sorta good looking but the weight bit lets it down. And i gusse i do worry about in the future will i be able to find a boy who can love me for who i am ? i know its not all about looks but i know if you love yourself more then its easyier for people to love you. I also really want to get pretty so when i have to go back to the school in 2 years time for my gcses i can finally prove to all the people who tormented me and made me feel like i was worth less than a piece of shit that im not the fat ugly girl anymore and im acutally better than them. I know it might sound really shallow and vain but people dont understand what they put me through and how much i need to prove to them that now im finally better than them in all ways not just personaility wise but in looks and everything ! So i could really use some tips on how to lose weight any diets anyone reckormends for me ? Perhaps even dieting pills ? i cant join a gym as everyone from my old school goes to the one near here and the tormenting would be endless so any suggestions please ?? :) all advice welcome
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female
reader, married but unhappy  +, writes (18 April 2011):
Bravo macdubh! You've got to have fun getting your exercise.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAhh thankyou once again. And yes without music i do not think i would still be alive :) you have really helped i will try it ;)
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male
reader, macdubh712 +, writes (14 April 2011):
You said your town is small and it is hard avoid people. This may sound kind of dumb, and you might feel embarassed by doing it, but you like music, right? I thought so; who doesn't? You want to know how to get moving but are concerned about others seeing you? Go in your room, lock the door, put some music on, and dance. You'll feel embarassed doing it but who has to know, right? None of us are going to know if you actually do it and you're locked in your room, right?
Also, get some light dumbbells, search the net for dumbbell circuit workouts for beginners, and you can do this in your room. One of the best exercise regimens I have ever done is called Power 90. This program is by Tony Horton and came out in 2000, well before P90X. Excellent workout regimen for "all around" fitness, all done in the privacy of your own home. Remember, any exercises where manipulate your body weight, whether done aerobically or anaerobically, are good and can mostly be done at home without equipment. How do you think prisoners in the US get in TIP TOP shape when they aren't allowed to work out with weights?
If you master the diet part this is good. Exercise...it can be intimidating, especially in the beginning but once you start, get past the initial "suck" phase where you are tired and sore, and start feeling good after you work out, you'll be hooked.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your amazing advice ! My diet isnt to bad at the moment i eat fruit and stuff i barely ever have takeaways but i do sometimes starve myself and i have realized that this isnt the right way to lose weight, the thing that doesnt help is that i am addicted to coke cola which i know has loads of caliroys init but i am slowly trying to give it up I think the main part which lets me down is the exercising. i live in a very small town so its extreamly hard to avoid people, and all the clubs cost money which my family doesnt have. Also with my severe depression i also have an anxity disorder its not a majour one but sometimes it stops me from going out but i am learning to deal with it. But i will probably start doing what Macdubh712 siad and i will not use any diet pills. I do not want the bullys approval and i dont want them to pretend to be my friends again. I just want to be able to walk back into my hell hole of a school and finally be proud of who i am and show them that im not scared of them anymore and im not that fat girl who they can torment and push around. I know they will never approve of who i am because when they were bullying me they would say something to me like my hair looked ginger so i died it then they would say i looked like an emo with them you can never win with them. So thanks anyway for all your advice, when i was in hospital about 2 months ago i had all of my cloretral, glands blood tests and stuff done and i was fine soo thanks again. And Macdubh712 ill get back to you in about i dunno two or so years ill share my happy story if ive got one ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): Hi there, I agree most with Macdubh's answer; I would add Michael Pollan, who subtitles his book, "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants". By 'food' he means stuff without fillers and flavors and colors that is mostly in the same form as it was when it was still growing. Eat food that is as alive as possible, fresh and colorful and flavorful and whole. Fresh fruits and veggies, preferably raw or as near to it as you can; a little meat, preferring lean and not red meat. The Chinese have a sensible view, which is that they view meat as a condiment to give flavor to the vegetables, ideal proportions being 2/3 vegetable or more to 1/3 meat or less. And don't forget herbs and spices to give things a spark. Whole grains as much as possible, cooked simply. Cold-pressed oils, mostly raw, as dressings. They are right when they say avoid fried things! Not totally, not so that you feel oppressed and start craving pork rinds or whatever -- within reason. You'll need to enlist the help of whoever does the cooking in the household, but everyone will be the happier and healthier for it.Do get yourself checked for allergies and intolerances. I lost a fair amount of weight still eating like a horse when I cut out gluten and dairy for a bit (I know, it's radical, but it helped me overcome some serious disease). The standard medical tests aren't very sensitive, but they'll give you an idea... most of all don't eat anything if you don't like how you feel afterward, if you feel drained/bloated/ irritable/... it means you might be allergic or intolerant to it. Listen to your body. If you are eating what you need, your body will go automatically to its ideal weight.You might want to start cooking yourself -- that way you know EXACTLY what is on your plate, and that nobody has put anything artificial or strange in it. You can also make it the way you like it, once you get a little experience -- it's very empowering. If you know how to cook, you will never starve, or be forced to eat MacDonald's because there is nothing else prepared. Don't be too harsh on yourself -- if you are really craving a slice of chocolate cake, go for it -- just don't eat the whole cake! or if you do, space it out over a week, or invite friends to share it with you, make it a party. Good luck, and have fun with it! Life is a journey, might as well enjoy it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): Bullying is a very serious issue and if you havent been counselled for it, then you would benefit a great deal from some outside help. Trying to seek the approval of the bullies is a pointles task because they are idiots....and have you ever tried reasoning with an idiot? Its a waste of time. So dont look to slimming pills to try and gain their respect or approval. If you are concerned about your weight, just eat healthily. Cut out soft drinks, sugar fixes such as sweets and snacks. Macdubh712 is spot on with his suggestions about food.
As for boys. You will need to socialise in order to meet them, so take up a sport. Cycling might be a good one as both guys and girls enjoy that.
And study hard, dont neglect your education! That will be your best revenge against bullies, should you feel you need it.
I know of a girl who was bullied terribly at school. She is now a midwife at our local hospital and sees her old bullies when they arrive at the hospital to give birth. I cant help but chuckle when i think of it. They must give an audible gulp when they see her smiling at them from the end of the bed. Study, seek some counselling, eat healthily, take up a sport and dont let a few idiots affect you. They arent important. All the best.
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (14 April 2011):
I'm sorry to hear your problem OP.
Don't go for diet pills. Apart from the fact that you are too young, they won't solve the problem. To lose weight you usually need to change your behaviour somehow, which means taking up more exercise or changing your eating habits.
I have recently discovered the joys of hula-hooping. It's amazing! It's a really good work out, low impact on your joints and really fun. You can put your favourite music on and just go for it. It's actually pretty tiring and you can feel it working your muscles, plus it's great for core strength. You can get special hoops for not much money which are a bit heavier than normal and easier to begin with. The best bit, though, is that I am exercising without even thinking about it, because I'm enjoying myself.
I think you need to probably exercise more to get your metabolism up, but make sure you have fun while you do it. Dancing, hooping, skating, there are loads of fun things you can do and they'll all make a difference.
You should probably see a doc as well to check there is no underlying medical issue causing you to gain weight.
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female
reader, Ima FreAk! +, writes (14 April 2011):
 Hiyaaaa,
Honey your only 14!!!!!!! Your bound to have fat its called puppy fat once you hit puberty you will start so shed off the pounds honestly.
Firstly I think all you have to do is cut down on the sugar I know most of the Oreos, Sainsbury's cookies! I know it's painful coming from a chocolate addict! You just gotta cut it down and the takeaways McDonalds all that cut it DOWN!
Your body hasn't really developed much yet so I don't think dieting is the best for you because your body is going through drastic changes coz your only 14! If you diet now and keep dieting in the future your gonna get really bad disease like bone brittle (where your bones are really weak) and muscle weakness all of that!
My best advice is start eating healthy like eat plenty of fruHits and starchy carbs (not the junk like) and reduce ya junk sweetie ohhh and eat LEAN meat as in chiken breast no fat on it. Coz your home schooled you don't have PE lessons loooooool but you need to put some exercise in even if it's skipping or jogging walking (fast pace!)
Honestly don't worry about your weight that much because your 14 and trust me I've seen people when from chubby at 14 and when their 17 like skinny!
Don't worry eat healthy and if you still can't shed weight by 17 then you can diet the hardcore way!
Hope my advice helps!
Good luck!
Lots of love,
Ima FreAk!
x
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female
reader, sly897 +, writes (14 April 2011):
 Dear dear child, your weight may be an issue and if you don't want it to be fix it now. As you get older it will be a real battle. Even if you don't love who you are and you will be loved. Don't tear yourself down. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful and wonderful you are eventually you will believe it. I know I have battle with weight my entire life and I am now over 40 and i can still look in the mirror and like who I am. Confidence is the secret to being happy with yourself. I know sometimes maybe you had a second peice of cake or something or you just had a bad day or you made a big mistake it is hard to look in the mirror and compliment yourself. But do it anyway and what you did won't seem so bad. Good Luck and remember love yourself.
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reader, macdubh712 +, writes (14 April 2011):
Well hello. You know, I had sort of the same problem when I was in high school. My sophomore year I was almost 300 pounds. In the spring I began to try to run everyday. It was only a little bit. Maybe 20 seconds at a time at the local walking part but it worked. I eventually go to where I could run around the trail once without stopping, then 1.5, then twice. I was in marching band and I played drums. It happened that the theme for our show was Queen songs. Well, that show had us all over the football field for. We were competetive so 3 practices a week, football game on Fridays, and competitions on Saturdays. By November of my junior year I was down to 220 (I'm a tall guy so that was THIN for me). Well, my point of that was my reason was similar to your's but not quite the same. I wanted to get a GF for once. What you have to do, for one, is put your mind and heart completetly into it because it is a long journey. You put a lot of effort into it and you may not see results as fast as you'd like. It is a lifestyle change, not something you do for a while. It never stops. Now, I don't know what markets are like in the UK. In the states we have supermarkets but I have heard different things about Europe. Step one. DRINK WATER. Drink water a lot and with meals. You'd be suprised how many calories you take in drinking soda, juice, milk, and anything else. Two, eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Ideally they need to be fresh. NO canned foods, processed foods, or other junk like that. Yeah I know, nothing good, right? Well, at first, no. After you get used to it it's great. With vegetables you want to have a variety of colors - this is good. The more colors, the more vitamins and nutrients. Three, don't eat red meat. Stick with poultry and fish. You like eggs? Try just the egg whites, hard boiled. Four, NO carb diets are crap; you need some carbs, they are fuel for the brain. Just do a LOW carb diet. Remember, fresh foods, boiled, broiled, or grilled. NOTHING FRIED. DRINK WATER. Poultry or fish. Also, diet is MOST of weight loss and the most important part. EXERCISE: Start off slow and easy and TO FILTH with people think. I was self conscious when I first started but I told myself "screw it, I'm doing this." If you only knew how seldom people think or say anything... Just walk at first. You want to get to where you are doing 30 good minutes of continuous or almost continuous activity 3 times a week. Just remember, at first, GET MOVING and KEEP MOVING. Don't feel pressured to do this or that when you start. Don't stick with one pace for too long a period. When something starts to feel more comfortable add a little more. ALSO, WARM UP/COOLDOWN and STRETCHING, and HYDRATION are all KEY. This should be a great start for you. Also, remember this: you will see a lot of crap out there saying that this product can get superfast results or that one can. DON'T FALL FOR IT. It's CRAP. If something says it takes the work out of working out (i.e. seems to good to be true, it probably is). Good luck and update us. We LIKE success stories.
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