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... Send *ahlan a private message | | | *ahlan's profile:I dont pretend to know the answer to everything.All i can give is my advice if i can and my honest opinion.Although im only 33 i,ve been thru a few experiences-bullying,violent relationships,relationships where mind games were played,ive been cheated on and humiliated.Anorexia,bulimia,drugs-soft and hard,forced seperation while my boyfriend has been in prison and ive spent a couple of weeks inside myself.Prostitution,berevment,rehab.Its not all been bad though.Ive been going out with my partner since January 2000 and i love him to pieces.I moved away from my family and friends from one part of Scotland to another and though i miss my family,i still see them often and talk to them nearly everyday.I also have my partners family here and to me they are my family too.I love them i spend time with them often.
I couldnt survive without books.Im ALWAYS reading.Just now im into fantasy-fiction but there are times,when ive read just about everything.I am doing a fictional writing course through the Open University.Id also like to do a refresher English course and then do a higher English course-I only hope Shakesspear isnt involved.
As iv mentioned i live with my partner.We have our problems but then we wouldnt be normal if we didnt.I want a baby badly but cant see me having one now.I do have a wee dog whos just had her 3rd birthday .Half whippet,half terrier of some kind.She is my baby and i love her to bits.
Well thats my account.Dont know if its meant to be so long but i,ll put it in anyway.
Lots of Love,
Kahlan. |
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Christians: is it a sin to have sexual feelings?
Q. as a christian,having feelings of sex when growing up,is it sinful?...
A. 19 August 2009: Having sexual feelings is completly natural-especially when puberty hits. Its part of life. It doesnt matter if your a Christian, Mueslim or a Jahovas Witness. It is part of being human. Never feel guilty for having sexual feelings.... (read in full...)
Do you think this dream about pregnancy means something?
Q. I'm fifteen years old, and I'm almost two months pregnant with my first child. I have been planning on getting an Abortion, because the father is a dead beat and I don't have much support other then that. Lastnight I had a dream, I was holding a ...
A. 18 August 2009: The dream is probably your subconcious helping you deal with whats happening.It is a big decision having an abortion,but having a baby would also be a big decision.You are young having to deal with this.You say you dont have much support.Are you ... (read in full...)
Can you live without sexual intimacy in a relationship?
Q. How do I know if my husband sexual problem is medical, or something else? He has ed and low sexal desire, but the DOCTOR NEVER FOUND ANYTHING WRONG. His health is k, so it is not medical so far ,unless they didn't find out why. I would fully exce...
A. 18 August 2009: Part 2.I did try to come on to him but he kept letting me down gently,so now ive stopped trying as it made me feel bad about myself and i felt unattractive.To answer your question i find it hard to live without intimacy,but i wouldnt want to end my ... (read in full...)
Can you live without sexual intimacy in a relationship?
Q. How do I know if my husband sexual problem is medical, or something else? He has ed and low sexal desire, but the DOCTOR NEVER FOUND ANYTHING WRONG. His health is k, so it is not medical so far ,unless they didn't find out why. I would fully exce...
A. 18 August 2009: Part 1.I am in the same position as you.I will be 33 next month,my partner-lets call him David,will be 40 in October and we havent had a sex life for about 3 years.We've been together 9 yrs,and ive always had a higher sex drive than him.I dont know ... (read in full...)
Will this constantly be hanging over my head and causing more harm than good for this marriage?
Q. Caught my husband cheating on me in my own home while i was sleeping upstairs....with my cousins girlfriend who is about 15 years older then me. I welcomed them in my home for a night of drinking and fun, my husband was really drunk and High on ...
A. 17 August 2009: Is this the first time your husband has cheated on you? If he is serious about doing whatever it takes to save your marriage ask him to go for councilling together. If he says it was the drink and coke that lowered his inhibitions enough that he ... (read in full...)
I'm in great shape... so why doesn't he french kiss me or give me oral?
Q. my husband won't french kiss me at all or perform oral sex on me. He just wants to have sex. I am in good shape and have great grooming. Is there something wrong. I am sure he does not run out on me. We have been married for 33 years and he has...
A. 17 August 2009: Hello.I thought id answer your problem as i am in the same sort of situation.My partner has no problem French Kissing,but its been many years since he has given me oral sex.We have been together 10 years and we are 33 and 40 respectivley.We gave ... (read in full...)
How do I get over wanting my father's approval and affection?
Q. I've been though a lot this summer with my father. He has told me that unless I am willing to be around my step mother he will not see me. And I am not allowed to be around her because she emotionally abused me, I won't get into details. What I need ...
A. 17 August 2009: Oh Darlin!Do you get on with the rest of your family?That must be so painful that your dad is treating you this way.Do you have a granda,Uncle or older brother that you get on with and can talk to?I am sorry your dad is acting this way.Please dnt ... (read in full...)
The deadline for telling his wife has come and gone. How do I tell her anonymously?
Q. I have been carrying on an affair with a married man. He is going to leave his wife, I do believe that. The thing is, the original timeline for him leaving her has already come and gone. Circumstances have just naturally happened that have caused ...
A. 17 August 2009: You must guess what im going to say.If he was going to leave her he would have by now-unless the circumstances are really exceptional,then what?There will probably be another exceptional reason not to leave again.Please dont tell his wife.No matter ... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity but how can I stop being nervouse?
Q. im nearly 15 and i havent lost my big V yet and my gf whants to have sex with me i want to do it too but im nevrous what can i do to not be nervous?...
A. 17 August 2009: Honey,I dont want to sund like a prude, but it doesnt sound like your ready yet.Everyone is nervous their 1st time,but if you are totally ready then you should be more exited than nervous.I lost my V at 14 and regreted it as it wasnt with the right ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for the semen to come back down and out?
Q. I have the implant, me and my boyfriend have both been for check-ups and we are both disease free! We have started having sex without a condom, I'm wondering if it's normal for the semen to come back down/out of me? It's abit messy sometimes and ge...
A. 14 August 2009: What goes up must come down.It's completly normal.This is what causes the wet patch.So theres nothing to worry about.... (read in full...)
Will I still pass as a virgin when I get married even though I've had sex 3 times?
Q. had sex 3 times not planing on having sex for 2-3 years will i still pass off as a virgin when i get married? (all 3 times bled)...
A. 13 August 2009: I first lost my virginity at 14-though it was through peer pressure and i bled then, however because i was so tense he couldn,t penetrate me properly. The second time was a few months later and cos the 1st time was so uncomfortable i couldnt relax ... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong, or is this a one-way relationship?
Q. I dont know what to do... my girlfriend is always lashing out at me for no reason, and im beginning to get sick of it. For example: She keeps in constant contact with all of her ex's. While this makes me uncomfortable I dont make mentio...
A. 11 August 2009: Hello, You have to know that she isn't being fair.From everything you've said this relationship is definatly one sided.Things cant go on the way they have been.She is knocking your confidence and believe me because ive been there, it doesnt take ... (read in full...)
My best friend is getting really secretive.
Q. My best friend is getting really secretive. I mean, normally if i had news i would tell her before anyone else! She got a boyfriend, right, and i only found out off someone else! I asked her if it was true and she said yes. Now i'm unsure of ...
A. 20 March 2008: you didnt say how long you had been friends for. it will probably be this boyfriend or maybe shes been hanging around with a different group of friends and she probably feels shes grown apart from you. its really hard when this happens. it can ... (read in full...)
I'm scared my boyfriend will beat me!
Q. Ive been going out with my boyfriend Steve for a year now. The thing is, he has troule erecting. He is always watching porn, and I am anorexic, which he finds extremely sexy. Also last year, Dan his friend raped me. I didn't tell Steve as I know he ...
A. 15 March 2008: I know how hard it is to get away from a physically and mentally abusive relationship but believe me sweetheart it can be done.If he hasnt hit you by now he will soon.You will probably need help to do so.If this Steve is anything like my ex he will ... (read in full...)
If he looks at me a lot, does he like me?
Q. There's this guy that I like. I think he just likes me as a friend but I don't know. If I ask him to do small little things for me he does them, I catch him looking at me a lot, even from across a large room he was looking at me, he makes fun of me ...
A. 15 March 2008: Hi.It sounds like he does fancy you.Maybe hes worried you,ll knock him back if he asks you to go out with him.If you really like him whats stopping you from asking him instead.The worst thing that could happen is he could say no.Go 4 it.Kahlan.... (read in full...)
I'm left feeling alone after getting attached to him - please help.
Q. Hi, i guess im not really looking for advice, just need a sounding board. I have posted on here before ragarding my current relationship. We have been having a difficult time together recently, i dont think hes attentive enough, we have been squ...
A. 15 March 2008: Hi.I really feel 4 u.Its horrible when your scared of being alone but as u said you know what u have to do.It seems like he wants to find someone else before ending it so dont give him the chance and tell him its over.At least then your not ... (read in full...)
The idea of sex with an older guy scares me, as I have only dated men of my age before. Has anyone had such fears and how did you control them?
Q. I'm planning on having sex with a 32 guy im 22. I'm not a virgin but i feel unexperinced compared to him. All so he has to use mega condoms cause regular don't fit right so im scared of his size. Hes tall and thin but i guess his penis is to big. Is ...
A. 13 March 2008: Hiya hen.I have been in the same situation and as long as your sure of the guy it should be ok.Older guys usually have more experience and could teach u a few things or two.If your comfortable enuf explaining why u are nervous ask him to take it ... (read in full...)
Scared to go out with him.
Q. I have this friend who i have liked for ages. I think he likes me too. but im too scared to go out wif him coz i dont know how kiss oy anything like that. Am i fridget? How can i fix this?...
A. 7 February 2008: I remember how frightening it is when youve never kissed anyone B4.What if i do it wrong?What if i bump teeth?What if this happens what if that happens? First of all tilt your head slightly and meet lips together,with them slightly open.The rest wil... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 yrs is now ignoring me. Has he lost interest?
Q. I have a really bad problem. For no reason whatsoever, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years has decided to just ignore me. He's ignoring my texts and calls, when he says he will see me he backs out last minute. I know it isn't cheating, he just isnt that ...
A. 6 February 2008: I hope im wrong but it sounds like he wants to finish it but is too scared to tell you.Maybe theres another woman involved,maybe he just wants to be single again for whatever reason.Like it or not its up to him but whatever hes playing at you ... (read in full...)
What did he mean in his text when he said I need someone on my own level?
Q. hi, this is a long one so sorry if it takes time. I recently found an old text on my old sim from my one and only boyfreind of about 4 weeks, we split December last year, (this is not all of the text he sent). I never really read it properly ...
A. 4 February 2008: I dont think he meant it like that.I think he probably meant u were 2 different personalities.I cant see him meaning anything bad by it or trying 2 hurt u.He most certainly realized you were unexperienced and tho it wasnt a good idea 2 tell him u ... (read in full...)
He tells me I'm stupid for asking.
Q. hi there im in a relationship with a fella that i think is just using me when we first got 2gether everythin happened so quickly. got pregnant got engaged got pregnant again. he always puts me down when other people is present but just recently he ...
A. 2 February 2008: ive been in a couple of relationships where he put me down and told me i was stupid and ugly and i was lucky to have him as what other man would want me!eventually you start believing it.you should get out now tho u mentioned pregnancies u didnt say ... (read in full...)
What are the chances of being pregnant?
Q. hello i had sex with my boyfirend on the 24th of january and we didnt use protection and i was meant to start my period today but i havent, as it has been a month since my last period could i be pregnant??...
A. 1 February 2008: theres no need to worry yet.worrying can actually stop your period,but if you dont start soon go to your doctor or your nearest family planning clinic for a pregnancy test and also a test for an std.the staff can also give you advice if you are ... (read in full...)
What are the chances of being pregnant?
Q. hello i had sex with my boyfirend on the 24th of january and we didnt use protection and i was meant to start my period today but i havent, as it has been a month since my last period could i be pregnant??...
A. 1 February 2008: theres no need to worry yet.worrying can actually stop your period,but if you dont start soon go to your doctor or your nearest family planning clinic for a pregnancy test and also a test for an std.the staff can also give you advice if you are ... (read in full...)
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