A
female
age
41-50,
*onfusedxyz
writes:Hi, i guess im not really looking for advice, just need a sounding board. I have posted on here before ragarding my current relationship. We have been having a difficult time together recently, i dont think hes attentive enough, we have been squabbling over little things.We recently managed a 2 week vacation together, apart from some silly squabbles we got on incredibly well. After the return, same thing as before lack of communication, phone calls etc. Today i crossed the line, i knew what i was doing was wrong, but my gut instinct is telling me that its too late for us. I looked through his phone, i knew as soon as i did it, that that was game over, i had lost all trust, i was invading his privacy. What i found confirmed my fears. I dont think hes cheating, but hes definitely looking elsewhere for his next girlfriend. There are two significant females on his recent text list, one was a potential girlfriend years ago but nothing happened, and the other a girl who has been chasing him. He was basically telling these girls htat there in nothing left in our relationship etc etc. hard to see in black and white but theres no point in kidding myself.we're approaching a significant anniversary, i asked him if we wanted to do something, said if he didnt it wasnt a problem, he through me slightly by suggesting he get his colleague to cover his work. Why wont he just end it with me, i know its coming, but i still think he should be the man and just do it. I think im even together enough not to cry when he tells me. I did tell him, that if he was thinking of splitting with me, he shouldnt wait till after the anniversary, one or two days wont make any difference to me.im left feeling alone, and rejected. ive gotten attached to him, i did enjoy the time we shared. I must admit i havent beeb happy with the way hes been treating me for a while, i guess it is the right time for us to go our separate ways, but my, it still hurts. thanks for reading. i need to pull myself together and move on.
View related questions:
anniversary, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, confusedxyz +, writes (16 May 2008):
confusedxyz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyoure quite right mr tips. i dont know what i was thinking. We are no more, 2 months or so now, and to be honest ive never been happier about it. i cant believe i hung on so long thinking he would change.
im moving on, and life at the moment is good. His loss i say!! (whether thats true or not)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): The only thing I am wondering about is why you are waiting for him to dump you, If I found the things you did I would get rid asap, hang on I did, I was married for 20y then found out she had been cheating and lying to me for the last 5y there was no waiting. Yes I'm alone now but no more lies or hart ache. Do yourself a favor dump him.
...............................
A
female
reader, confusedxyz +, writes (16 March 2008):
confusedxyz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply Kahlan, I spend most of the weekend with him, he never mentioned a thing, never gave an inkling, it was him that initiated us spending Saturday together. Im still very confused. The anniversary is tomorrow, what will be will be. Thanks again, i can't tell you how much it helps to get a viewpoint on this kind of thing.
...............................
A
female
reader, kahlan +, writes (15 March 2008):
 Hi.I really feel 4 u.Its horrible when your scared of being alone but as u said you know what u have to do.It seems like he wants to find someone else before ending it so dont give him the chance and tell him its over.At least then your not constantly waiting for him to end it once he finds someone else.If theres no trust theres nothing.Maybe others wouldnt agree but you obviously felt the need to look through his phone and you were right as hes proved to be an untrustworthy sod.Id have done the same.Yes it,ll hurt splitting up but youll be happier in the long run and it will be better for your confidence for you to end it now rather than waiting 4 him to do it.Good luck and lots of love Kahlan.
...............................
|
