A
female
age
30-35,
*icollieollie
writes:Hello. This is actually a question my boyfriend wanted me to ask.He says : " Ever since my girlfriend had a baby , I do not feel sexually attracted to her at all. She has lost all her baby weight but I just dont see her the same anymore. She had a c - cection so it's not even like she is stretched out or anything. Is this normal for me to feel like this ? Does this happen to everyone ? Is there any way to fix this ? Will I ever feel attracted to her sexually like I used to? She feels rejected and unloved and says I must be cheating on her since I used to have sex with her often and now we have sex once a month at the most... and sometimes not even that much. I would appreciate all replies, especially from the guys "But the way I see it, if you love somebody, you would want to be intimate with them and make love to them. it is so out of character for him not to want to have sex. He says this is inevitable after people have kids. But I say that's not true. There must be tons of people who have kids and are still wanting to have sex with each other. To me , it sounds like an excuse to cover up something else.Please reply . Thank you
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female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Ok, I'm not a guy, but in his defense it is possible that he is acting this way because now you are a different person to him, and the entire situation is different. Maybe because now you are not "young girlfriend" anymore, now youre "mother of his child" and the two of you have a lifetime living breathing commitment together, maybe that is not sexy or arousing, maybe it brings up images of lifetime responsibility, not images of hot young carefree irresponsible sex. It might take him time to adjust to the idea of the new situation.... On the other hand, it is understandable for you to be suspicious, if your boyfriends sexual desire to you suddenly changes drastically, and drastically decreases. However, in your case there is a major life change going on, so that could easily be the explanation. I'm not saying that him cheating on you is out of the question, I'm just saying that there are other factors at play here to be considered, before you jump to your conclusion. What you need to do to fix your situation is to make sure that the two of you do not lose emotional closeness and when you do have sex, make sure that you make love slowly and connect with each other, not just have quick physical sex. Emotional sex, too. And do things other than just have sex. Give each other oral sex. And massages, foot rubs. It's probably not the easiest thing to do to make time for each other now with new baby, but it is very important to do.
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