A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been separated for 2 years from my husband of 18 years due to his affair and how much hurt I endured from it all... We have recently been talking about how we could maybe get back together to make it work again.... My parents and brother and sister in law do not want me to and are very upset and don't know if they can accept him back into our family.......I am torn and my question is, yes, he hurt me, yes my family watched me go through all that, but, how do I choose or do I choose getting back with my husband who I still love or not so I make my family happy?
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female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  +, writes (3 October 2009):
 Your family cannot be an influencing factor in your decision. You need to take your family out of your decision. Then there are only two factors left to consider, two opposing factors. On the one hand, you have been together 18 years, on the other hand, he cheated on you. If it were me I would never take him back, but then again I have never been with someone for 18 years. Good luck figuring out what you want to do!
A
female
reader, Ladee  +, writes (2 October 2009):
I have a saying that I standby - don't step back to move forward!I was in a relationship for 13 years, we split, I was devasted and had a very hard time. I went back after 12/18 months. It didn't work out we ended up resenting each and now we don't talk.It's difficult - no matter how hard you try, to forget why you split in the first place - it's always there buried in your mind, no matter how much you love that person. Bad times are more likely to stay with you than the good.I'm not a pessimist really, honest, just think long and hard, who would you be doing this for? Him or you?After two years of being apart take a look at yourself and see that you came through the break-up. Your family care.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 October 2009):
Go to a quiet place that makes you happy. Sit down, close your eyes and listen to what your heart is telling you. No matter what he says, he could be lying. No matter what your family say, he could be telling the truth. Your heart is the heart that counts, and your happiness is very important. Think very carefully, and you'll find your answer.
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