Both are ideal but who do I choose ?
Q. OP's original title** Hey people I'm in a pickle , ok I've met 2 guys they are both really nice I've been on a few dates with both over the last couple of month and still can't decide who I like best , they both like me and have told me so . They a...
A. 7 January 2015: First off, congratulations on finding two great catches! Now, how to decide... If you go simply on things like behavior, mannerisms, basic personality traits, etc. yes, it's likely you won't be able to choose. So now, it's time to dig deeper. ... (read in full...)
My husband is deleting texts from his ex-wife. How can I handle this?
Q. My husband deletes texts and calls from his ex wife, even after we've had discussions about doing this, and he said he wouldn't do it anymore. Also, I've seen texts where she sends him x's and o's. At one point I even texted her myself to ask her ...
A. 7 January 2015: There is such a fine, fine, fine line between trust and privacy. Trusting someone means believing that they are doing right by you, and thus you don't feel a reason to have to invade their privacy, because you believe in your heart that you w... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but almost kissed another guy...and a girl!!!
Q. Ok so I am engaged to a man who I am so in love with, and just couldn't live without him. Last weekend I was at a hen weekend with some of my reckless friends, and to be honest, it was more like a bender. We just went wild. I was so out of it I ...
A. 29 August 2014: Yes, you should tell your man. It would be terrible if he found out from someone else or through some other means. Yes, you *almost* did something wrong. You ended up in a risky situation. However, you did the right thing. You recognized the b... (read in full...)
.I don't understand why I should be faithful and invest in a relationship that has unstable future plans
Q. I have been dating this man for a year and a half and I need a solution to a problem. We are in a long distance relationship an hour and a half drive away.I live in a big city and he lives in a small town. I am willing to relocate to another big ...
A. 26 August 2014: These sorts of situations are some of the hardest situations in life to deal with. He has a fair point. He owns a house and has a job? Asking him to give that up "for love" is asking a lot, even to a man who loves you. On the other hand, y... (read in full...)
Should I ask out the 22 year old woman I'm interested in?
Q. Hi I'm a 31 year old guy, 2 months ago I split up with a 23 year old. Now I've met a 22 year old who I like but I'm worried she is too young for me so I haven't asked her out yet. I got the impression from a few of my friends and family tha...
A. 26 July 2014: The saying goes that "age is but a number." And in a lot of cases, that's true. The issue isn't the specific number, or the number of years difference between you two. The issue is compatibility, and where you each are in your "game of life" a... (read in full...)
I feel like I've been put on the back burner completely!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. I know it's still somewhat in the early stages but far enough in that we should know way more about each other than we do. He got a new job back in January with really demanding hours and I know he ...
A. 5 June 2013: I have the same exact type of situation you do but with my girlfriend. She's the one acting distant. School, work, and things like that can definitely be very, very stressful on a relationship. They can create some very hard times. If he has... (read in full...)
Does guys keep their female friends so long so close because they really want to be just friends or because they like them?
Q. I have a friend of 5 years and I kinda like him ever since we first met. He is an amazing guy and I would love to be more than just friends, but even though we are close, and there is some tension, he never actually said he likes me or he never ...
A. 23 May 2013: Depends on the circumstances. I have one close female friend. She was my best friend's wife. He died of cancer. We have remained very close friends. But it would be quite awkward for us to date, plus we are not really compatible as lovers, but w... (read in full...)
Am I too needy or is she not really as into me as I am thinking?
Q. This might be long because I really need help and want anyone who can help to have as many "facts" as possible, but I'll be as brief as I can... I became friends with my girlfriend over a two year period that eventually blossomed into romance. A...
A. 23 May 2013: Your situation sounds very similar to the one I've faced with my own girlfriend. Usually, after a relationship has passed the "honeymoon period" and real life sets in, this constant attention starts to fade. It doesn't by any means mean that ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex want nothing to do with me?
Q. My ex broke up with me 7 months ago and has maintained no contact since then. I have always loved him and a part of me still does, and I accept that he does not want to be with me anymore, but why doesn't he at least want to be friends with me? I...
A. 23 May 2013: A lot of this will depend on why you two broke up. You said "my ex broke up with me" so I'm going to assume it was his decision to end the relationship? Could you elaborate a bit more on why the relationship ended? Contrary to what everyone wo... (read in full...)
Struggling to trust my girlfriend after she kissed another man....
Q. My situation is that my long term girlfriend of 9 years kissed another man at work. She came clean about it all and turns out that this dick has been pursuing her for about 6 years! She said she got curious and kissed him and that she immedia...
A. 22 May 2013: Would I trust this guy? No way. I would trust him not even as far as I could throw him. From what you describe he is indeed a creepy player. You are not wrong for being uncomfortable with him. I am sure it was hard for your girlfriend to co... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but I am so bored, what can I do to spice up my relationship?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months and i know that's not exactly 10 years but i feel really bored. We barely go out because neither of us have that much money, our intimate time is dull and he gets all the pleasure (not selfishly, just to the ...
A. 20 May 2013: Let me first address the intimate time. Is there a reason you say that "he gets all the pleasure"? Is there anything he could do to make you more excited? He sounds like he does love you, so you should feel comfortable enough to ask him straight... (read in full...)
Can ex's be friends without issues? My boyfriend still talks online to his ex every day!
Q. Hello Aunts. My question is based on my own relationship history and my boyfriend's. Whenever I have broken up with someone, I haven't been able to stay friends with my ex's, for whatever reason. I have had 3 serious relationships including my ...
A. 20 May 2013: I think the ability to be friends with an ex depends on many factors. First, how serious was the relationship? Second, how "moved on" are the two people? Do they have new relationships that they're happy in? In most breakups, there is one pers... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend just being friendly or too curious?
Q. My boyfriend asked his friends girlfriend if she was still with her boyfriend, should i be worried? My boyfriend was friends with her boyfriend first, so that is how he knows her. Do you think he was just asking to be friendly, or what ?. I saw th...
A. 20 May 2013: They might just be good friends and perhaps he has reason to believe there's something wrong in their relationship and wants to offer his help. But I want to ask you this. Why were you reading his messages? Was there a reason for that? Has your b... (read in full...)
There were five condoms in the drawer and now there are none!
Q. Hello my question is my baby father had like 5 condoms for one we don't use them I check his draw beside every time and seen he had them now its empty my suggest to any women what would you but he doesn't know that I even know about. I've worried ...
A. 13 May 2013: There are condoms in my drawer. Once they get close to their expiration date, if I haven't used them with my GF, they're going the way of the trash.
If my GF accused me of cheating on her simply because I threw out old condoms, I'd get really u... (read in full...)
Can you get addicted to someone??
Q. One of my friends male friends has been flirting with me for a while, around 5 months, but i wasn't interested at first, however he kissed me a couple of months ago and since then i've developed some sort of attraction and i'm starting to really ...
A. 9 May 2013: Yes, you can be addicted. But not specifically to a person. What you get addicted to are the feelings that being with that person, and being physically affectionate with them, gives you.
At the risk of sounding like a college professor, it reall... (read in full...)
Could this sudden change mean she cheated on me?
Q. Ok me and my girlfriend have been together for 8 years and it's been great til yesterday.we have sex almost everyday and her vagina is tight and hugs my penis and I can feel her uterus when I go deep until yesterday cause usually I have to go slow ...
A. 9 May 2013: Having sex with a man with a bigger penis does not stretch the vagina to the point where it doesn't spring back. Think about it - women deliver babies through the vagina and afterwards still have satisfying sex and have a tight vagina. The vagina is ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable for my boyfriend to disappear without me knowing where he is?
Q. my boyfriend and i are going through a bad patch. Im going through a custody battle with my ex and its taken its toll on our telationship. I admit I get upset but most people would. Well anyway im now up at 3.30 am not knowing where on earth he is. ...
A. 4 May 2013: I think you may have acted a little rash.
First of all, it's not acceptable in any relationship to be a "Stalker." Even when you're married, you each have at least some rights to your own space and time. Even more so when you're a dating couple n... (read in full...)
This woman keeps flirting with my fiance right in front of me, what should I do?
Q. I know there isn't anything I can actually do about this but maybe someone who has gone through this can tell me what I should do. Basically I need to know how to best handle a situation where this woman flirts with my fiance right in front o...
A. 20 April 2013: You haven't given us the most important detail -- How does your boyfriend reach to these advances? Does he flirt back? Does he just ignore her and act like the flirting didn't happen? Does he get angry? Also, what is the NATURE of this flirt... (read in full...)
Porn is just images of women on a screen. The men will never meet those porn stars. So why is watching porn such an issue for women?
Q. I am curious about this. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. T hey are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of him a...
A. 17 April 2013: I think a lot of the comments on here are pretty interesting. My perspective from that of a male, as has been said, is that women tend to be very insecure when they like someone. No matter how much girls may have gained power in relationships, t... (read in full...)
My parents wont help me pay for university, but they're spending money on things I don't need?
Q. I'm an 18 year old guy heading off to university next year. My parents and I have had some fallouts in the past, due to our disagreements over how to fund my education. My parents did not save up enough money to pay for my university. However, their ...
A. 16 April 2013: Are you of age? Your age says you're 18-21, so you'd be of legal adult age. If that's the case, and I know this is MUCH easier said than done, but if you're 18, your parents really cannot "force" you to go to any event. That being said, thou... (read in full...)
Am I fooling myself into thinking we could get together again?
Q. Hi, here is my situation: One night i got drunk and kissed a guy. I told my boyfriend the morning after and he broke up with me. That same day we broke up i got depressed and slept with the guy. A week after my boyfriend and i got back together. 2 ...
A. 16 April 2013: First of all, you both have done things wrong here. You kissed another guy, but he took it too seriously and dumped you, and then dumped you AGAIN for something you did AFTER he dumped you the first time. It sounds like even though you're br... (read in full...)
A bad experience with a past relationship is getting in the way of this one
Q. Before reading this, please understand that I do realise what I did was wrong, I see the mistakes I made and the faults in my decisions. Just in case I receive any answers telling me how stupid I was, because I already know. Okay, so I'm 20 years ...
A. 16 April 2013: You're describing something extremely common for many people, both male and female. When we are hurt by someone, we tend to associate something with that hurt, and then become afraid whenever that particular thing shows up again, even in a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't like to talk about the future. Is she thinking of leaving me?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and we always a talk about getting a flat or something together and how great it would be to spend even more time together. However, when I bring up the idea of getting engaged in the near ...
A. 4 March 2013: Here's the thing. In my experience, and my observations, just about every girl dreams of being married, but when that finally might actually happen, they get apprehensive. Think about it this way. When you're in high school, for some people all ... (read in full...)
Why did he go soft? Am I a turn off?
Q. If my boyfriend n i been together 7 yrs n lately everything is a argument. We juss had sex n i was on top seems to me everything was going well. Out of no where he gets soft.. What does that means?? Am i a turn off? Alot of thoughts are running ...
A. 28 February 2013: Sex does not define a relationship - the relationship defines the sex. That isn't necessarily always true and always literal, but it's close. So if you're fighting a lot, he's probably got the arguments you've had on his mind. He might be str... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin. But due to my thoughts I'm worried that I might be becoming a sex addict. Should I be concerned?
Q. Im 17 I'm a junior in high school and I have a problem. My prob is I think I might be a sex addict....so here's the catch: I'm still a virgin. I have never gone farther than making out and even that I have only done that two times. Both with t...
A. 28 February 2013: Fantasy is a very important part of human sexuality. Practically everyone starts out their "sex life" by fantasizing about some sexual situation, often accompanied with masturbation. It's one of those things that make us very uniquely human. I ag... (read in full...)
Is it true that if you've been hurt in a relationship you shouldn't compare others to your bad experience?
Q. I wont bother telling you the background of me and the girl I was dating for just about 3 months, I'm just interested by her comment and wanted to know what you guys can make of it... My best friend saw her last night and said he spoke to her and...
A. 28 February 2013: This is something I struggle with myself. In all major relationships I've been in, the girl at some point chose to end it, and didn't choose the most amicable ways to do so. Cheating, disappearing, etc. And from my point of view, these things hap... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable or reasonable to have a crush on someone else whilst in a committed longterm relationship?
Q. Hi everyone. I basically just wanted to ask if it is ever acceptable or reasonable to have feelings for someone else (or a "crush", for want of a better word) whilst in a committed, long term relationship? Would this mean that the current rela...
A. 27 February 2013: Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Most people have at some point in their lives. A "crush" is often just a fantasy - an attraction towards a person based on our own perception of that person's traits and personality. We humans are a... (read in full...)
Is it really true? Once a cheater always a cheater?
Q. Can people be truly sorry for cheating and never go on to do it again? Or is it a case of once a cheater always a cheater? I've cheated in the past knew it was wrong and never done it again. My boyfriend of four years cheated in the b...
A. 22 February 2013: I disagree with "once a cheater always a cheater" In fact I disagree with just about any statement that generalizes EVERYONE into a specific pattern of behavior. There are so many reasons for someone to cheat. Some of them may indicate a perso... (read in full...)
The relationship almost seems too good to be true but I can't risk getting hurt again!
Q. Hi everyone I have been dating a man for a couple of months now. We had an instant connection which niether of said we'd ever felt before. We have the most wonderful time together. It almost seems too good to be true. I'm not sure but I think ...
A. 18 February 2013: You're experiencing the "infatuation" stage of new relationships, otherwise known as the "honeymoon" period. It's at this point that this new guy seems like a knight in shining armor, the perfect Prince Charming. Your emotions run away with fan... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells me he doesn't love me as much as he used to. What should I do?
Q. Hello, I'm pretty sure there may be lot's of questions like this here, and pardon if you're tired of hearing it ^^; What do I do, if my affectionate boyfriend suddenly says that he does not love me as much as he used to? Last night, he told...
A. 18 February 2013: I can really relate well to your situation as well as your boyfriend's feelings. I previously dated a girl who suffered from depression. We were together for 4 years. During that time I did everything I possibly could to be there for her, care for ... (read in full...)
I thought we had a good time, he said he'd call but he didn't. Why?
Q. I have been casually dating this guy for a couple of weeks, we met on a dating site so I know he wants a relationship. Our dates have been great (at least I think so) consisting of dinner, drinks, and cuddling or making out while watching movies. I ...
A. 18 February 2013: No offense, but we don't live in the 19th century anymore... There's nothing at all wrong with girls calling guys back. And just because a guy doesn't call back immediately, isn't an automatic sign he's not interested. He may be nervous, afraid ... (read in full...)
I haven't given my b/f oral sex. Is that a bad thing?
Q. The guy I am seeing is really great and patient because I have only ever had sex with one other guy so I am still a bit new to all of this. My best friend was so shocked because he has gone down on me and I haven't on him. She made it sound like a ...
A. 18 February 2013: First of all, there's nothing wrong with you not giving him oral sex if you're both OK with the way things are. If he's OK with going down on you and not getting anything back,at least for now, then don't worry. People will say it's "not fair" th... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that my ex and I can rekindle our relationship?
Q. I am in love with a guy that I left 8 years ago today we talked on he phone and then feelings started coming back between the both of us.I really care for him I want to make things happen with him but there are some issues and boundaries that we ...
A. 6 February 2013: I disagree with the people who say "if you didn't get back together, don't try now." There are so many reasons why couples break up, and since you didn't give us a reason we can only speculate. In particular, if your past issues had to do with t... (read in full...)
We tried to move past his cheating but I'm recently starting to resent him for many things, how do I approach this situation?
Q. I don't even know where to start with this be here goes. So I have been in a 3 and half yeah relationship with my boyfriend. He cheated on me but we decided to move on together and move past the situation. We have gone on to have a little boy and...
A. 6 February 2013: The problems you describe are actually somewhat common (sadly). A lot of guys seem to still be stuck in the past, back in a time where the guy worked all day while the girl was a housewife, and thus the guy would come home and expect to be taken ... (read in full...)
My experience of an LDR has been flawed by his need for a FWB as well. I refused the latter. Can LDR partners stay faithful?
Q. can people mix up long distance friends with benefits relationship with a committed faithful long distance relationship meaning? I was in a long distance relationship and thought he was faithful for the year prior to my trip to meet him. He ke...
A. 6 February 2013: I've been in an LDR myself and I can tell you that it is VERY difficult at times. Everyone has different needs in a relationship. While all relationships need good communication, compromise, and of course, love, there are a lot of people who reall... (read in full...)
We only have sex once a day when we used to have sex 6 times a day! Are we on different pages sexually?
Q. Cupids, my boyfriend and i dont have sex as often as we used to. We used to have crazy wild sex and passionate sex at minum 6 times a day. Yes we were horny teens then but we arent much older. He is 20 and i am 21. Could our age have effects on why ...
A. 6 February 2013: Wow... 6 times a day? So many guys would tell you they would do anything for a girl like that... Truth is, though, us guys have limits. At the beginning if a brand new relationship, sex 6 times a day may be typical. However, once the relat... (read in full...)
I know she likes me. But would her friend really have a big influence on her decisions?
Q. I went on a date with this girl, who I have fancied for ages. It went really well, and we kissed for a good hour afterwards so was really good. we talk everyday and she is happy to meet again. She told her best friend and she is not happy this girl ...
A. 5 February 2013: I know I'm not a female but I can tell you from experience...
It really depends on the girl you're after. If course everyone, even guys, want support and want to be able to talk about their endeavors with friends. It bothers even us guys when som... (read in full...)
Her boyfriend saw the message I sent to her telling her I missed her, and now she claims I've ruined her life! What can I do?
Q. So this girls boyfriend of 3 1/2 years dumped her last year and said he never wanted to speak to her again. We started seeing each other and hav been seeing each other constantly the last 10 months but it was never a relationship, always in ...
A. 5 February 2013: Honestly, dude, and I know how much this hurts, but the best thing you really can do right now is to honor her wishes.
Even though you say it wasn't a relationship, it sounds to me like at the least you hoped it would become one, and you even say... (read in full...)
I'm worried that I'm leaning too much on my boyfriend and he should be out having fun
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years following a long friendship and we are very much in love and looking into moving in together after in finish uni (he is currentrly in a graduate position). I haven't had it easy in the last year or...
A. 24 January 2013: You've had some really tough experiences and I completely understand what you're feeling. It's always hard to lose family members. However, as the others have also said, a good relationship involves commitment and caring. I can say myself that ... (read in full...)
Unexpected death of an acquaintance has got me thinking--whats the point?
Q. I've just found out that a colleague of mine with whom I used to work a some 4 years ago had a mortal car accident this morning while he was driving to work: the road was icy, he lost control of his car and crashed against a tree- he died. We wer...
A. 24 January 2013: As hurtful and saddening as it is, death is a natural part of life. I'm sure most adults have had the experience of losing someone close to them suddenly. I spoke to my grandmother on the phone one evening, and she died that night. She was in ... (read in full...)
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