Unexpected death of an acquaintance has got me thinking--whats the point?
Q. I've just found out that a colleague of mine with whom I used to work a some 4 years ago had a mortal car accident this morning while he was driving to work: the road was icy, he lost control of his car and crashed against a tree- he died. We wer...
A. 24 January 2013: As hurtful and saddening as it is, death is a natural part of life. I'm sure most adults have had the experience of losing someone close to them suddenly. I spoke to my grandmother on the phone one evening, and she died that night. She was in ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband watch one particular part of my body during sex?
Q. Hi, I am really embarrassed but here it goes: sex with my husband is over the top. I mean, since I've been with him I finally understood what "to make love" means: he's caring and sentimental in the bedroom and outside the bedroom too. When he is ...
A. 24 January 2013: I personally don't think you have anything to worry about. It's very common to have a sort of "fetish" over certain parts of the body or certain acts of sex play. People think of "fetishes" as perverse or unusual things, but by definitio... (read in full...)
Some of my husband's actions are making me uncomfortable. He says there's nothing to it. What do I do?
Q. I'm four months pregnant with my first child. Overall, things have been going well in my relationship with my husband. My sex life isn't quite what it used to be, but it's not like we don't have sex at all. (And not because I don't want to!) Over...
A. 24 January 2013: There is probably a good reason why you're feeling this anxiety. Is there anything at all that's ever happened between you two that might give you good reason to worry? Have you maybe experienced some hurt in past relationships and are just ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend looks at other women and makes me feel horrid!
Q. My boyfriend and have been together for three years now. He cheated on his ex wife and has made me feel uncomfortable when other women are around us. The first time this happened was when we invited a friend to lunch and she held his gaze for a ...
A. 24 January 2013: First of all, let me address the issue of his "looking" at other women. I'm not trying to make excuses for us men, but we ARE "lookers". I'm sure you've read or heard about how guys tend to look at physical attractiveness, while girls tend to look ... (read in full...)
My relationships end so terribly that I really get affected. I am done with love!
Q. In all the relationships ive had not one has ended without me being affected i become so depressed i even stop eating and eventually lose weight,the problem is i love too much without even leaving room for dissappointment.i dont think i will ever ...
A. 24 January 2013: I'm a man and I can say I completely understand how you feel. When I fall in love with someone I fall completely, deeply in love. When I've been broken up with, I find I have to take months to even get back to a state of "Normal". I get depressed,... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had me charged for a crime when she was the one who has been abusive
Q. My life is in such a mess! I was with my girlfriend for about two years. Anyway, after a few months I caught her cheating. But I took her back. Then I caught her cheating again and I took her back. She then started to raise her hands to me abou...
A. 23 January 2013: I had an ex who was physically abusive. She would shove me or push me, making me fall, and on some occasions hit me with objects or her bare hand. I obviously got out of that relationship once I realized it was never going to improve. After... (read in full...)
I don't want things to get too sexual yet. So what do I do next time my Bf wants to try more making out?
Q. My boyfriend and I were making out, and he was playing with my boobs, squeezing and rubbing them hard. Then he kissed down my neck and started kissing/sucking on my boobs. It felt really good and I really enjoyed it, but in the future what should i...
A. 7 January 2013: If he tries to actually get you to have sex with him after "making out" this way, then you have every right to say "no."
Since you are in a relationship, however new, it's a good idea to get used to communicating your expectations, desires ... (read in full...)
How should I handle our post break-up issues due to us now living in the same place?
Q. I have a 'break-up' problem. 3 weeks ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 months (plus the year we dated). It was mutual, since I didn't feel she was quite herself around me anymore. It all started with a sort of alternative education we both...
A. 7 January 2013: You probably did make her feel a little clung to. Even if your intent wasn't to choose the same school, if you were already broken up, she probably saw it as an attempt to get her back.
One thing I've learned about girls is when they say they don... (read in full...)
What do I do now? How do I deal with this?
Q. So around January, I met this girl. I started talking to her and found out. she had a boyfriend. I backed off and texted her on her birthday, which I remembered was April 20th (420). I found out she was single so I started hanging out with her. I ...
A. 31 December 2012: Unfortunately, based on what you wrote, it sounds like you were being played.
It hurts, terribly, but the best thing for you to do probably is to walk away.
If she keeps texting you, tell her that you need her to stop, and that you can't be wit... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat on their wives?
Q. Why do men cheat on their wives my sister is having an affair with a married man it has been going on for 4 years his wife is ill with fibromylagia and arthritis she also sufferes with severe depression. He keeps telling my sister that he is leaving ...
A. 31 December 2012: Any time cheating occurs, regardless of who's doing the cheating, it means someone feels unfulfilled in their relationship.
Think about it. If the relationship were satisfying you, why would you need to cheat? There'd be no rationale for that beh... (read in full...)
Why are women so confusing?
Q. Why are women so confusing? Why can't women ever just say whats on their mind? This past semester I met a nice girl in college and I would text her regularly. We would talk about music, movies, sports and whatever else was going on with school. I ...
A. 31 December 2012: I agree with the others here - I don't think this is a gender-specific question. You like talking to her... CALL HER! Even a phone call is a lot more connected than a text message. Are you interested in more than friends with her? If so, th... (read in full...)
How do I help my b/f get over fights without always breaking up?
Q. Me and my boyfriend, well now ex-boyfriend have been dating on and off for the past year. He was the one who always broke it off because we'd get in a fight. How do I help him over come the fights we have without breaking it off all the time?...
A. 31 December 2012: Why do you fight?
Are the things you fight over major dealbreakers or just petty stuff that he's taking out of proportion?
You fist need to decide if you're truly compatible with him and if you can work out whatever differences make... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have wanted compliments - not dinners?
Q. Is this wrong to think like this? My ex did alot of stuff for me paid for meals, drove me places etc but he didn't make me feel special in a sexual way. I feel like I would of preferred him to make me feel sexually special rather than take me out ...
A. 31 December 2012: "The Five Love Languages" is a great theory on this sort of issue.
Everyone who is in a relationship needs to feel the security and force of that relationship in different ways. It's often the disparity between two people's "love language... (read in full...)
Been so difficult since we broke up. Should I just cut him off and move on? Or hope we can get back together?
Q. My ex and I broke up about a 1 1/2 months ago. Word got around around about two weeks ago that he liked another girl but also said he didnt want to date anyone for a while. Around a couple nights ago he had contacted me saying how he had been thin...
A. 31 December 2012: Did you break up with him, he with you, or was it one of those mutually agreed breakups?
It sounds like he still has feelings for you. If you were the one to dump him, then he's obviously trying to get back together with you, and you'll need to ... (read in full...)
Left my pot head, cheating boyfriend. So why do I feel upset that he's already talking to other girls?
Q. Okay, I am the same girl who wrote about my pot head cheating ex boyfriend and I thank you all for your lovely and supportive feedbacks :) So lastnight, I couldn't sleep. I had a lot on my mind. I was talkin to a friend of mine about him and sh...
A. 29 December 2012: No matter who does the breaking up, a breakup is always hard on both people. Sometimes the degree to how hard it is differs, but it's always hard.
You're feeling this way because you gave him so much, you tried so hard, and you couldn't make it ... (read in full...)
How can I pursue my cute neighbor?
Q. I've developed a little crush on one of my next door neighbors. I am in my early twenties and he's in his late twenties. Occasionally, I see him in front of his house and we always say hello and have the casual conversation but it never goes ...
A. 27 December 2012: Next time you have a casual conversation with him outside his house, just go for it! Ask him if he'd like to maybe join you for coffee or lunch sometime. Obviously you'll have to accept if he says no, but you will never know unless you try!
It's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me to wear makeup or nice clothes
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for these past five months. I love him dearly but he's very possesive. He constantly tells me not to wear make-up and not to wear the latest trends, insisting on letting me wear only shabby clothes. When I tell him why, ...
A. 22 December 2012: He sounds like he's being a little too controlling. Tell him that you like to keep yourself looking good and in shape, not to attract other guys or anything like that, but just to be presentable. Let him know that he is the one you want, and th... (read in full...)
What if I miss out on something great because in my mind I can't overcome fear of the wrong that could happen?
Q. Hey everyone,I dont normally talk bout the fact that i am single but im on a very self destructive path and im not sure how to get out of it. I am 29 i have just seen so much badness. People cheat all the time. Its so common. Its after making me ...
A. 22 December 2012: I've come to learn that life is always about taking chances. Ask people you know how many relationships they've been in. Chances are, the majority will say they've been in several serious relationships. Even married people will say they dated q... (read in full...)
He's a player yet committed, selfish yet generous, and so on. What should I do?
Q. after 5 month of warnings i finally opened my eyes and i think i don't want to stay with him anymore: -he is a player - he is selfish - he always tests me - whatever he does its my fault and he never admits that he did something wrong - i'...
A. 19 December 2012: It is up to you if you want to give him another chance. If you do decide to give it ONE more shot, you need to be prepared to stick to your guns and leave him if he doesn't improve. He needs to know that this is serious, you expect a major c... (read in full...)
I just moved in with my boyfriend. Should we write up a contract for rent obligations and other household duties?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have recently moved in with my boyfriend, I am trying to figure out a pattern about rights and obligations in relationships, for example,if I cook who does the dishes -me or him, if I do the dishes who will wipe them - basically, our...
A. 19 December 2012: Your flag indicates you're not from the US so I'm not sure how tenancy laws work in your country, so I can only give some basic advice. In the US, it's always advisable, often required, that if a tenant is going to have someone move in, the lan... (read in full...)
How do I make it up to my room mate that I have ignored after he's been kind to me?
Q. i have a room mate and i have really ignored him for no reason. he did alot of work for me for my car and stuff and i said i'll cook for him yesterday but then some of my friends came over that night and i offered them to eat with us but he did not ...
A. 18 December 2012: Sounds like you consider your roommate a good friend. Like any relationship, friendships do often take some work to maintain.
Apologize to him and tell him you didn't mean him any harm by inviting others over, but promise to cook for him and just... (read in full...)
He's a player yet committed, selfish yet generous, and so on. What should I do?
Q. after 5 month of warnings i finally opened my eyes and i think i don't want to stay with him anymore: -he is a player - he is selfish - he always tests me - whatever he does its my fault and he never admits that he did something wrong - i'...
A. 18 December 2012: It sounds to me like an emotionally abusive relationship. It's the typical pattern - a guy has his bad moments where he's mean, nasty, and downright cruel to you; then he has his good moments where he's the perfect ideal boyfriend in every way ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't tell his parents we already slept together.
Q. My boyfriend won't tell his parents we already slept together. As addition to this, he will never sleep at my house if he needs to tell his parents so, he will only sleep at mine if he can get a good excuse to do so. I just find this extremely ...
A. 18 December 2012: As a man who's experiencing this sorta thing with his girlfriend, I have to say, I think you can blame BOTH sides, not just yourself in this one. It's partly your fault because you're expecting him to act a certain way, when he is obviously not re... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with my brother in law's wife.
Q. Dear Cupid! Sorry to bother you. My problem still sustains there and now i need your help very desperately please. In my previous questions i asked you about a lady but almost all answers were very good and i tried my best to control myself b...
A. 17 December 2012: Your problem is far from unusual and many men (and women!) suffer it in a long-term marriage. It's exactly why there are so many affairs and infidelity situations!
First, you need to figure out why you are feeling this strong attraction for the ... (read in full...)
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