A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:OP's original title**Hey people I'm in a pickle , ok I've met 2 guys they are both really nice I've been on a few dates with both over the last couple of month and still can't decide who I like best , they both like me and have told me so . They are both respectful and understanding I haven't slept with any of them nor have they pushed for it. I can't just keep dating both until I decide as its not fair on any of us and would take me a long time to decide. I do want to be in a full on proper relationship with one of them but don't know which does anyone have any suggestions of what I could do to "test" who would be best as I don't know which , after so long being single I didn't expect to find anyone and then suddenly 2 came along. I tried writing good and bad things about them both but they end up with equal strengths and weaknesses so I'm stuck any help would be great. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2015): Which one make you Think about all the things you've always said you wanted in a guy, which one has more of those qualities. Also see who guys your lifestyle and scedule better so things in the long run workout.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (7 January 2015):
Keep sex out of it for as long as possible. The one who is just look for sex and nothing long term will be the first to leave.
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A
male
reader, fzald  +, writes (7 January 2015):
First off, congratulations on finding two great catches!Now, how to decide... If you go simply on things like behavior, mannerisms, basic personality traits, etc. yes, it's likely you won't be able to choose. So now, it's time to dig deeper. Start thinking about common interests. Is there one guy that you "click" more with when it comes to your favorite hobbies or pastimes? Is there one of them who shares your idea of a great vacation or great date more than the other? Also, think about future life plans. Maybe one wants to stay living where you live, and another wants to travel the world, move around and see it all. Think about what you want and compare it to their ideas.What about children? Do you want them? Do either of them want them? Parenting ideas? Even more minute things can come into play. Favorite kinds of music? Favorite genres of books or movies? Of course, it'd be really tough if it truly came down to "You like country; you don't", and I doubt it would, but it's just another thing you can add to the mix.You can do this stuff on dates, and in fact you should. Dates are a perfect time to sit down and have long, fun, but serious talks about your lives and where they might be going. Be lighthearted, funny, and cheery, but do talk about these things - they can help guide you towards the right guy!One thing I like to also recommend is: Go on CASUAL dates. Formalized dates with dressing up, fancy restaurants, etc. are great, but people do not show their real selves in them. It's not that it's wrong, it's natural! It's like going to a job interview - you dress in your best and come prepared for all the questions. That might work for a first date, but at some point you need to get past the surface and ACTUALLY get to know each other. That's where you're at with these two guys, and I think that once you spend some time with that, you'll be able to make a choice.And here's to whichever of the guys you choose - lucky him! :-)Best of luck!
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