A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i lost my virginity in june and was sleeping with the same person until october; so i am used to sex by now. so why when i slept with someone else a few days ago did it still not go smoothly? The other person has also lost their virignity so why did it seem like we had never had sex before? and how can we help it?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (23 December 2011):
Hi. Perhaps you were not moving in sync with each other.
You could have been moving away from him - when he was moving towards you.
With a new partner, it is a case of getting used to each other and establishing a regular rythm, once he was inside you.
Perhaps you were moving too fast and he was moving much more slowly.
This is what I mean by moving out of sync - out of rythm - with each other.
Don't give up on him just yet.
It's also possible that you might have become a little anxious and wondering if you were good enough for him. As far as experience is concerned.
If you do see each other again, perhaps you could just relax a bit more next time, and let things happen more naturally - without any pressure to perform.
Pressure to perform, simply gets in the way.
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (18 December 2011):
 "So Very Confused" nailed it. People are slightly different and sexual activities can vary somewhat, but usually about the same. It all usually works, but you have to get used to a new lover.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 December 2011):
 because even with tons of experience on both sides sex with a new person is still new and you have to learn each other's moves etc.
it takes a few times to learn the new dance of a new partner.
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A
female
reader, Cupid_or_Stupid +, writes (18 December 2011):
 Having sex with my current boyfriend for the first time (despite not being a virgin) felt like my fist time too.
I think it's because you get used to sex with that one person and then to have sex with someone else is nerve wracking and even though it wasn't your first time separately it was your first time together. Different people have different bodies and ways and there isn't really two couples who have sex the same. It's a very personal thing. Especially if there are feelings involved.
Hope this helped. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit wasn't painful, i guess it was just because we're not used to each other yet. when i first slept with someone i found that it seemed difficult for him to stay inside, like i was pushing him out, and it has happened with this person now too and then he would lose his erection. is it me? or is it just because it obviously takes some getting used to a new person?
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (18 December 2011):
Hi there. Do you mean "like the first time" that it caused you some pain?
Was there blood from the breaking hymen?
So what I am really asking here is, in what way was it like the first time for you?
Or, are you saying that it was not very exciting, and didn't seem to have any flow - it could be a lack of technique by the guy, perhaps suggesting inexperience?
It could be that this last guy you slept with recently, might be fairly new to sex, just like you. It's entirely possible.
Did you enjoy it at all - or not? Would you want to repeat the experience? And if not, why not?
Another option if you like the guy enough to see him again, is to simply experiment a little. Making love is all about having fun - it's not meant to be too serious!
Realistically though, the one thing you need to consider here is what is it precisely, that you didn't like about the experience?
If you can answer that, you are well on the way to finding some kind of solution, and it will stop any confusion you are currently feeling.
This is only a problem, if you think of it in that way.
It all comes down to experience, and experience takes time - it's a lifelong journey.
The main thing is to not let it get you down. It's not going to be that way with every guy you meet. Everyone is different.
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A
female
reader, dazednconfused90 +, writes (18 December 2011):
lol in my opinion, its nothing either of you did wrong and just the first time jitters and nerves...I know my first time with the ppl I have been with didnt go so well...even the second and thrid time werent so hot being that your still getting to know each other and what works for each other, but that is just me personally...
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