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He has a perfect body and I'm insecure about mine.

Tagged as: Health, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 March 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *.love.you writes:

Hello everyone, I think it would be best if I just ... got straight into it.

I am a virgin, and nothing is changing that anytime soon - not even my boyfriend (regardless of how he stands on the subject).

However, I do believe that considering my maturity both mentally and physically, I am ready to start taking action in my relationship.

My boyfriend and I haven't been together long, but I've known him since we were children, and so I feel as at-ease as I have with anyone (even previous partners). We're both 16 and so please no 'you're too young' comments, I don't need to be patronized.

He is very open with his sexual attraction to me, and though I feel the same toward him - I find it hard to express myself without fear of embarrassment, or actual embarrassment. I am a size 14-16, and so my body isn't one I am comfortable in, but I am trying to lose weight so I will get better.

The lack of comfort in my own body is something that contributes to my reluctance, especially as he is an athletic (and rather sexy) guy.

He has tried to make an advance on me, and I would have embraced it ... were we not in my friend's kitchen with the threat of her mother running in any second. But, even if we were alone, I know that I'd not be able to enjoy myself because of the fact he would be able to feel all of my physical imperfections.

Trust me, there are plenty, and as much as I trust him, I just don't think he's going to enjoy touching somebody with such a ... imperfect body compared with his own.

Please help me, maybe someone older can suggest alternative methods until I lose some weight? Or even other methods of losing weight than what I'm already doing (exercise and diet).

Thank you for reading, sorry it's so long.

View related questions: insecure, lose weight

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A female reader, Cupid_or_Stupid United Kingdom +, writes (27 March 2011):

Cupid_or_Stupid agony auntLet me start by saying - there is NOTHING wrong with your size. The reason 14/16 is 'fat' is all down to media and unhealthy, anorexic models. Us girls are completely guilty of trying to look like Cheryl Cole or whoever but your boyfriend is with you because he obviously likes you. It sounds as if He's not with you for the sex (if you're still a virgin and plan to stay one) but as hard as it might be for you to believe he's with you because he likes YOU as a person.

If he's made a pass on you before and he clearly wants to have sex with you then surely he finds you attractive? And if he finds you attractive then that's all that matters right? He's the one that has to look at you. Maybe you should just talk to him, tell him you get insecure and I'm sure he'll tell you himself you're being silly.

If you were 'fat' and it bothered him then would he be with you?? I don't think so, so it clearly mustn't. :)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 March 2011):

Honeypie agony auntSounds like your Bf is having a hard time keeping his hands off you. That usually means he is really attracted to YOU, not some skinny chick.

He WILL enjoy touching you, because YOU ARE YOU. He is not expecting you to look like Cindy Crawford when the clothes come off. Take it slow. If you two DO decide to get naked, turn the lights of and light some candles. Every one looks great in candle light ;)

Ever stood naked in front of a full length mirror? Focus on your good parts. The rest will follow.

Most people (even guys) think they have have physical flaws. There is always something they would want to change. Some things you can, others you can't.

I know you said you didn't want to be patronized, but the thing is, part of being young and a teenager, is the not being completely comfortable in your own skin. You will always be your own worst critic, for some that means they work harder, work smarter for other it makes them give up. Don't give up.

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A female reader, Alice-Wonderland United Kingdom +, writes (26 March 2011):

I'm also a size 14-16 and I understand what you mean about being insecure. However, if you are in a very loving relationship, and trust each other, then I don't think he will find your body anything but perfect :)

We can't all look like super models/porn stars, so we don't need to lose weight to have sex. He loves you for you, and dosent care about your weight. I'm not telling you to have sex if your not ready, but if the only reason you don't want to have sex is because of your weight ... well go for it! As all guys like diffrent sizes/types of girls, and obviously he choose you, so if he dosent mind your weight, you should be ok with it too. I know its hard, but its better than some mad fast diet.

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