A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for just more than 4 and a half years.we have been intimate from the begining and still are. The problem is that he only touch me if we are in bed or on our way to bed. Other times he'll only hold my hand. Everytime I complain about this, he hugs me, but turns his body away from me. Or he kisses my cheek. At first it was okay, but he still does it. And it's really starting to bother me. Why doesn't he want to touch me or hug me? Sometimes I just want him to hold close to him for a while. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx, I'll talk to him about it. I don't think he's just using me for sex, coz he's always there when I need him and we go out alot and we do stuff together. we talk about everything and are really involved in each other's lives. He just keep me at a physical distance most of the time. I'll talk to him about it and let you know how it goes. thanx for the advice, I really love him and I want this to work.
A
female
reader, TEM  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 This is something you need to bring to his attention. Women and men differ in this respect. He may not think anything is wrong. Sometimes it is difficult for men to show affection, because it inevitably turns them on, and then they want sex.
Show him what you have written here. He needs to know that you need to feel loved and appreciated all the time, just not on your way to the bedroom, if you are to have romantic feelings for him.
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A
female
reader, Cupid_or_Stupid  +, writes (27 March 2011):
 I don't want to jump to the wrong conclusions but to me it could be one of two things.
1) He has trouble with affection and the only way he really knows how to express his feelings is sexually.
or
2) He's using you for sex.
Now ideally we'd want it to be number one. But sadly it could be number two. If it's number one then you might just need to accept that's just the way he is and the way he always will be. If it bothers you that much and it makes you unhappy then maybe you should find someone else.
Sit down and tell him exactly how you feel, leaving nothing out. Tell him if you feel like you can't continue the relationship because of this and if he really does love you then he will try harder. If he doesn't he will let you go. It's gonna be hard and it will hurt but it will be better in the long run.
Hope this helped! Good luck! :)
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