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female
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*ootie09
writes: I was with my boyfriend for maybe about 1 month an a half but throughout the whole relationship it was nothing but him playing games with my head and us fighting all the time. It all started out in the beginning he cheated on me with on of my friends and I broke it up and stopped talking to my friend. Later I took him back! Now again I broke it off with him for messing with girls and saying stuff and doing stuff to girls right in front of me. But he's still texting me and calling me for basically a 3rd chance. I love him, I really do, but I'd rather not be with the one I love than to be with him and deal with his crap 24/7! Should I give him more chances or tell him he screwed up too many times to deserve another chance cuz that's what I've been telling him!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 November 2005):
 Here's the answer to your problem, and I quote "I love him, I really do, but I'd rather not be with the one I love than to be with him and deal with his crap 24/7! Should I give him more chances or tell him he screwed up too many times to deserve another chance cuz that's what I've been telling him!"
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): First, I doubt that you love him. Sorry but I do. You didnt really mention any qualities or things about him that made you love him. Just because it hurts a lot of have hitting on other girls doenst mean it was love. Sortting through whether it was really love will help make your decision easier. Secondly, you want different things so I dont see it working. You want monogomy and dont even want him talking to and flirting with other girls. He his loving the attention and validation that he is getting from having a girl be into him. If he can have three girls into him at the same time then thats three times better! And if he can make a girl break a bond with her friend to go behind her back and be with him- then wow he must really be something!A lot of girls have been conditioned to get attention from the opposite sex since they were teens they dont get how overwhelmed a young guy can be when he starts getting validation from a lot of different women. He isnt really feeling much difference betweeen quality and quantity- how are you going to fight that? By punishing him everytime you discover 'cheating'? Give me a break!You should explain to him that you understand that you are in different places right now. And its not good for you and you are no good to him as a girlfriend who is always suspecious. Wish him well and tell him to check back in with you in a year.
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A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (14 November 2005):
 I think you already know the answer to this dilemma.
He can only deserve a second chance if he changes his behaviour. Has he done this?
If he hasn't and if you know he won't, then you will only be letting yourself in for more emotional hassle than you should have to deal with.
Moving on and finding a more mature guy is on the cards now. It won't be long before no one will want anything to do with him because of how he behaves.
I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): Walk away. If you don't you run the risk of losing your self respect. If this guy really wants be with you he will have to change his ways, but you cannot change him, he has to want it for himself. And why should he change if you keep taking him back? There is no motivation for him to change. You deserve better than this. There are a lot of good guys out there, and while you're wasting your time with him you're missing out on the chance to meet someone really great. My advice is to dump him, get your mates together and plan some fun things to do with them. Do the girl thing for a while - nights out, long baths, get some new clothes. treat yourself and enjoy life and before long you'll meet someone new and better.
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A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (14 November 2005):
 bootie09,
First off, you guys were only together for a month and a half, if he's done these things to you already, I wonder how he's gonna be in a year or two. You don't want to have to deal with someone like this. You can always find someone that isn't going to cheat on you at all. This guy doesn't seem too trustworthy and I'm not sure if you'd really want to waste your time with him. I know I wouldn't.
He seems to not be ready for a total commitment. I don't think you should give him anymore chances. You already gave him two in about a month time span and he messed up twice, which means he definitely isn't boyfriend material at the time. You may love him, but why would you want to deal with that? You wouldn't ever know if you could trust him and I'm sure that would bother you a great deal.
Just forget about him and maybe later on down the road, you and him still want to be together and he can prove to you that this stuff won't happen anymore, then give it a go, but until then, you both should go your seperate ways.
Good Luck! I hope things get better for you:)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): There are so many guys out there, why waste your time with one you cant trust and will never feel fully secure with? End it, when he calls/txt you, tell him you are so much better than him and you are the best he would ever get and to leave you alone.
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A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (14 November 2005):
why did you give him a second chance? don't give him any more. he'll think he can carry on and you'll keep taking him back. stop right now before you get yourself into a vicious circle
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